Still alive

[notyoueither]

You go bro!

Of course you have some kind of record of activity on Tinder, right?

[N35t0r]

Pekka Amazing levels of amazingness from the SuperCitizen.

[C0ckney]

pekka

[Pekka]

notyoueither, nope, but I see her on it all the time. Too bad she became paranoid and refuses to use our home network She's right though, I'd pwn her left and right if she did.

More good news.

I saw a lawyer today, albeit retired, but my mom referred him as her co-worker has been a victim of this story (because my mom knows everything and she is in shock so she tells her some of the stuff to vent out, my mom is outraged...) and she figured "hey my dad is a lawyer and so is my brother" and so he saw me today for a free consultation because he felt sympathy as her daughter asked to help me. Remind you my mom is a pastor and so is this friend, and they're the MOST vigilant ones in this case. Like ready to battle in court and outside of it.

So, he said and remind you this story is SO long I can only tell some of it, and it is so confusing that no one can get it in an hour's time, but in that short period of time he told me I could seek for sole custody if I wanted to, it seems that my wife stands no chance in court. It's enough to lose custody after being the instigator (cheating) added with the actual reasons that hurts kids (delusional, suicidial), and I have ALL these on the record, written by herself. Undeniable facts and evidence. And that is just the beginning.

I said I'm not sure if that's what I REALLY want, I just want at least every other week with the kids. But my wife is playing with fire, she is seeking an apartment close to her new man, in another town. That means, that in fact if she takes the kids there to live with her, then they will be there for 15 days in a row is their primary home, and I'd be left with 4 days after that, as secondary home. That's not good enough - and I honestly think it is not in the interest of the children either. And the court will consider ONLY wha tis best for the kids, our situations matters not.

He kept saying I should go for sole custody, she seems unstable, and referred me to another lawyer, saying he is one of the best in the country, specialised in custody cases. And to mention his name, so it should be affordable.

What can I say? I feel more confident now that actual lawyers tell me I shouldn't worry too much, she's the one who should worry.

So my strategy will be that I will speak softly - offer her 50/50 custody, IF she stays close to us, meaning the kids will be here and not in some other town and that's it, she shuts up and we only see when bringing over the kids etc, and carry a big stick - if she decides to move, I will go for sole custody. My plan is to explain this to the "star lawyer" and have him approve this or come up with a better one, and contact HER lawyer and tell them we have some **** on her she cannot survive in court, that if she wants to be a parent, she better be reasonable and udnerstand she has no position. And we are not making empty threats.

So that's my strategy and I feel fairly good about it right now. We'll see what happens.

[kentonio]

Best luck in the world to you man.

[rah]

Yeah, good luck. I agree that it's a probably a good idea to speak softly. She is your children's mother and most likely will always be a part of their life. No matter what lies she tells them, eventually they's see and understand everything that happened so you don't want to appear to be too big of an ass. (regardless of what she deserves)

[Pekka]

Thanks... I'll need it... this guys' basic prices are $500 per hour so.. I hope I get a discount from referral or at least very good bang for the buck. We ARE talking about the kids so I don't care, we need the best. This would be the wrong place to save a few dollars...

[Pekka]

Yeah, good luck. I agree that it's a probably a good idea to speak softly. She is your children's mother and most likely will always be a part of their life. No matter what lies she tells them, eventually they's see and understand everything that happened so you don't want to appear to be too big of an ass. (regardless of what she deserves)

True... and I do believe they need their mom, no matter she's insane. And, a week with her, and they get normalcy with me the next week so... it'll be OK. Besides, I'm fairly sure she might actually kill herself if I forced sole custody. Should I factor that in? No, but I do.

[rah]

Which is why you should remain undefeated.

[Nikolai]

Best of luck Pekka! Life has handed you lemons, but you've made some helluva good lemonade out of it.

[pchang]

Best of luck Pekka! Life has handed you lemons, but you've made some helluva good lemonade out of it.

In Finland, they call it Sima.

[Ben Kenobi]

Jokainen on oman onnensa seppä

[Pekka]

BK, yes, true, I believe in that

GOOD NEWS!

MY wife FINALLY gave up! She was a bit defeated today so she finally revealed her plans for custody and how we should divide our stuff. It was reasonable. Let's just say I got all the information I needed.

She does NOT want to go to court was her lawyers only advice. She was told she has no position. OK, I don't need to know more, this is sufficient, thanks Of course I knew this already but her validating it makes it all the better.

Her suggestion was OK, she won't take the kids at all but asks if she can have the kids for a bit over a week per month. And that is starting after our divorce becomes official, so in like... 6 months. I'm OK with that! If the kids display any signs of weirdness, I still have the evidence, and the good lawyer, and together we can go for sole custory in a heartbeat. BUT if she agrees to this by herself, it is next to impossible for her, in the future, to get the kids for the primary home thing, because this is HER suggestion! So she's playing right into the goal I wanted it myself. This is good for the kids I believe. If I suspect any foul life style in the new home, I will go there and have the kids. I am prepared for it. We can see how this goes first.

As for material and money, she saved in the wrong place and had totally wrong info on how it works. I did not correct her. I did spend the money, so I'll be OK with it. She gets nothing, and that's just the way it goes, OR she owes my dad 50k, and almost 25k for me, that's another option and gets nothing.In fact, it's very cruel: If she wants to go all the way and have a 3rd party divide everything equally and find out about all our assets (so no one hides anything), her mom will lose her house as a consequence, because my wife owes 4th of it, so I'd own half of that, 8th of that house, and if my wife can't pay me out of it, then they'd have to sell it. And she cant' pay me. So naturally her mom would then go on, get a loan for 25k euros and pay me to save her own home, but as my wife owes my dad 50k, we could have my dad be the first-to-be-paid, so she can't come up with 75k, she'd STILL have to pay my dad anyway, and as the house would be the deposit for the loan, she'd lose the house. Even if not, she'd still have to pay me 25k, which she couldn't, and the house would go for forced sale. As a result of her daughter being unfaithful, her mom would lose her home, and I'd get paid. I could even buy the house myself and rent it to her mom as the most evil thing any son-in-law would have ever done. What can I say? They WANTED to settle. And I'm OK with that.

Finally, with this family thing, for the first time it looks like it'll be OK and we don't have to see the ugliest fight. We jsut needed some huge bombs first to show off.Of course I'm ready to drop them if needed in the future if things escalate but as of now, we'll be sailing smoothly.
¨
edit:

Even my daughter was in a great mood today. She's been anxious but today she was all hugs and kisses for daddy (she hasn't been for a long time...) She wanted to talk with me and made me swear that tomorrow we'll go bed early, so we have enough time to talk about things. I said YES of course, and I got more kisses and hugs Seems like everything is turning great.

[N35t0r]

Pekka
You really deserve more, but I ony have two thumbs!

[-Jrabbit]

Awesome news, Pekka! Congrats on both the outcome, and the not-maximally-painful way it came about.

Justice is served, and Supercitizen remains undefeated and still champion. Fantastic!