Still alive

[Dinner]

I'm with Laz on this one. Leave the bit about the kids at the park out. It was a three year old talking and I recall my nephew at 3 telling me about his invisible friend.

[Pekka]

Leave it out for who? Social worker? Yeah, it's jsut pure speculation. It's not a fact. Facts are: she hates me, she did dump me when I most needed her, she cheated on me, she NEVER apologised or even said she did wrong... she does not want to quit cheating (I mean she even said that, she stated she does nto want to end the "relationship" AND that she is leading a double life and does not want to stop that either. So... plus she aggressive, angry, at least toward me. So I want a divorce. As simple as that. Now, we need to look into how we can support the kids.

Did you hear that ladies? I'm free!!!!

[Alexander's Horse]

glad you are still with us Pekka

there is something very Nordic about the other life dramas

[Bereta_Eder]

Tieing up a kid IS child abuse, period.
Unfortunately, is also amazingly difficult to prove.

About the other stuff, Pekka let that tormented and hurtful woman go. Take all measures for financial safeguarding.
You wanted someone to take care of you in this difficult time and all you got was cheating, abuse and her putting her distorted morals, "honesty" and "well being" first?
She does not deserve anything.
She still is the mother of your kids so she has all the respect for that.
Other than that.... sorry.

[Pekka]

Not difficult to prove when you have video.

OF COURSE I'll let her go, I don't even like her at this point. She is a monster for all I know..

YOu know what is really scary? When you see a person (someone you've been with for years), go totally blank. Like REAL rage. Teeth showing, eyes bulging out, pupils the size of a pin (really scary), shoulders pushed front and just staring at you. I had a moment like that. The only thing I was doing was looking for all exit routes and where the kids are. Ready for her to grab a knife and attack me at any moment. That look is very scary, it still haunts me. Like nothing is going on in the head, except perhaps murder.

This all said, I've gained some powerful allies. Surprisingly, from my own side of the family there was an expert on this issue (narcissism, divorces, assets, the whole works). She has first hand experience. She gave me advice worth more than gold: How to hide assets from her, how to give her nothing, how to not let her have the kids all to herself, what offices should I be contacting, and how to handle a narcissist. She left me with a promise to find me some experts to help with the case. She has inside hookups.

Surely a great thing!

Hopefully in few months, she will be out of my life, and I'll be with my kids, house and hopefully finding new nice ladies.

Today I was at this big park, lots of mommas with no rings... and I'm telling oyu, pretty hot mommas. I like those that are my age, like 30 something moms who take care of themselves. There's lots of them, surprisingly. I find them hot. SO, I'm in the free market.

In fact my ally told me that I can force the rule on her not to bring men into this house, while I can bring lady friends over, since I own the house. Nice detail Then again, not like I'd bring vans full of women to the home of my kids. But the point is, it's my damn rules in my house, obey!!!

I'm still playing nice... like tonight she was (again) cheating on me, even though I told her she has to stop if she wants to live here/use my car.. well... I was nice to her when she was telling me all these lies where she was.. because she gets nothing. NOTHING. She won't even see it coming.

[Pekka]

NO!!!

The custody place screwed up BIG TIME!!

I talked to my aunt about it who is a specialist in these issues and she asked, "Was it a woman", I said "yeah"

"is the custodian worker a woman as well?" "yes.."

"OK they might have done it on purpose, it happens, make sure you correct it and sue them if necessary, they always favor mothers and women by default".

So what happened?

I wanted an appointment with them to talk about the situation, that I want 50-50 situation because I'm divorcing my wife. And I want to come and takl details and get my story on the record.

So today I got the letter, and so did my wife!!! THey just figured we'll both come! NO! It was MY appointment.

A tota fubar.

I was supposed to have lead time to get that fixed, deal with lawyers etc. Now all that lead time is lost. ****ing amateurs (social workers yay, thanks a lot).

[Pekka]

I don't care about that, I'll just keep on trucking.

Talked to my mom, she is extremely angry about this whole situation. Remind you I'm still in cancer recovery, so stress etc. only makes it all worse. Plus, her mom has totally misunderstood what we're about. She totally dismisses the cheating thing as a mistake I should "understand" because my wife has been tired because "she has to do everything". Which is a ****ing lie. I've also done my share. SO no, I don't understand, I don't have to, now she's after my blood (my wife), wants the kids and all the money. SO if her mom decides to align herself with that strategy after I present her the sick plans she had (I mean she did write them on a letter, so it's not liek she can lie herself out of it), if she STILL decides it's all my fault, she can go to hell too. Then it's total war. And I never lose total wars. Thn it's not about winnig only, it's about making the others lose as well.

[Ben Kenobi]

Good luck, Pekka. You'll need it.

[Bereta_Eder]

Parents (real parents) will always take the side of their children Pekka, you know that.
Even if they like you, even if they think you're right, that won't change. It's human nature.
Courts will exhaust any and all possibilities for the children to remain with their mother, it is psychologically more sound. That's also a fact of today's society. (Lions on the other hand are the ones who raise the kids while lionesses do the hunting. Weird huh?!)

About all that social worker thing and all that "sensitivity" and "being true to your wants" etc I've seen this before.
There are people who are supposed to be sensitive and Sh!t but they are actually very self centered people who put their needs first (never a real christian thing to do, BTW), their needs fit their self centered and really swallow personality and though all this "Sensitivity" they screw up other people.
Maybe it's time for "tough love" so to say.
Maybe try to be as detached as humanly possible and do all the correct moves, cold heartedly to secure what's best for you AND your kids of course. (never badmouth their mother to them, whatever the reason/situation etc) and also try to arrange that what she gets back is nearly nothing, just as she gave nothing. Love is a two way street.

[Ben Kenobi]

Maybe try to be as detached as humanly possible and do all the correct moves, cold heartedly to secure what's best for you AND your kids of course

She's going to try to screw Pekka, his father and his family over. If he wasn't before he needs to play hardball now.

[Pekka]

This is waht I want them to really consider. This house IS the home of the kids. All their friends are here, everything they know is right here.

Plus, I got a video on her doing real sadism on my daughter. I think it's enough for her to lose her job. It was enough for my mom wanting to about kill my wife.

I should probably report it, at the same time it would kill her career. Then again, it's sick, maybe it's the right move.

[Fake Boris]

My 2 cents is that you should try to be nicer.

Keep documenting - when you've got more than enough, tell her you'll disclose the stuff you have unless she consults a professional therapist.

Whatever happens she still is going to be your children's mom, think about that.

[Chemical Ollie]

WTF Pekka, new cancer treatments, divorse and custody dispute?

When life gives you lemons, go get some salt and tequila!

Stay strong! Undefeated Super Citizen, remember?

[Elok]

Holy shiznat! When did you get back?

[Pekka]

I've been nice, documenting all, just had he rmother shout at me loud. She was going nuts. Why?

I noticed my wife took 5k from our account wiht no permission, so I told her to give it back, she refused. Then she started driving and at soem poitn called her mom avout this, cried and told how I awlays provoke her and then film her (wtf?)

So her mom wanted to talk to me, and she shouted at me how I dare to talk finances when someone is focusing on driving, that my behaviour is out of order and I'm rude. She was really pissed off so I jsut said "I just found out about it, so I told about it right away, not like I waited for this particula rmoment"... "YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR WEEKEND TRIP FOR THE KIDS!"... uh oh... what? Then some psycho talk, didn't make much sense, jsut babbling and not finding words.

So that was nice.

So now we know NOT to show any evidence to her mom, she's definitely against us at all costs no matter what.

She don't care about her daughter cheating on me with a married man (and refusing to quit it), about stealing money from me, it's my fault and I'm rude. SO that's it, she's off the loop now.

Talked to a relative of mine with experince on this topic. REAL good talk.

She said my wife has regressed back to a teenager, probably to the age when her dad died, and she goes back to that now. And that her mom has supported her behavior for all these years so she won't change, ever. Dynamic duo.

However, she is very unlikely to get the kids just like that. We'll go to court. We have a nice proposal for everyone but if it gets torpedoed, we'll go to court.

As for finances, house etc. She has NO position what so ever. By that I mean she might get few thousand euros from me. So I'm extremely well covered there. It'll be a surprise to her that she actually doesn't get anything. I'll be there to cry with her (not).

So now it's really the kids I'm worried about. I want to share 50-50. She gets a week with them and I get a week. In this house. She gets to live every other week in here (for free) and take care of the kids and then it's my turn. Pretty sweet I figure. The kids get to be here al the time, in brand new house, with friends close, everything they know is here. I think genuinely this is best for the kids.