Still alive

[Pekka]

Wow. Hang in there, man.

And don't touch that thing - not even with a proverbial 10-foot pole.

No I won't!

She has now been isolated for 2 months, and armed. I KNOW she has AT LEAST schizophrenia. At least. She has taken the passports of our kids to her bag, I told her she can't do that adn she said she'd give them to a child protection worker. I don't get it. She is really out of it. I'm mostly scared she will kill herself once she finds out I've known about this all for a long time already. Not about hte other man, but about the whole other ****.

And yes, I'll get tested.

What can I say? In few months, I'll have a big house to myself AND I'm single so I can start dating other women, should I find them somewhere. All in all, I think I won.

[Ben Kenobi]

Umm. Wow. Ok. Can't say I was sufficiently paranoid.

[Pekka]

Yeah, it has been revealed she is very insane. As in completely and utterly out of her mind. I have no idea how long she has had this double life though. She STILL lies about everything. Even about the other man, she constantly denies having another man, even though she has confessed it earlier and written about it to me. It's very frustrating. But I know what I know. She has left evidence all over the house and due to the situation, damn yes I search for everything, scan and record. This is now even the advise of my neurologist and therapist, who all think she's totally insane, beyond doubt.

So now my goal is to get the best out of parenting agreement, try to not push her too hard so she won't kill herself (and our kids in the process), etc. Really stressful but in a few months I'm sure this will be but a bad memory.

[Sava]

[Pekka]

That's the reaction of most ppl... it is this delicate balance I'm trying to play with... on the other hand, this is an easy victory... on the other hand, if I totally crush her, she will most likely off herself.

I can't be strong armed by that threat though. I'll have to make sure the kids are OK, if she kills herself in the process, then it's up to her. But I'll leave the door open for her so she can walk out with no damage as well. But I'll protect the kids until the very end.

I don't know what she is thinkign..... I'm most certainly smarter than her, and I'm most certainly right here, I have not cheated, I have not mistreated her... I'm surviving cancer, I built this house with my father. And the kids are ours. I don't know what the hell she thinks she can achieve here, except total loss and failure.

[Pekka]

But Friends,

Aside from of course now being alone, I am enriched by all this. I've experienced some horrible stuff despite my young age (34), and survived it all with good results. THis is great motivation for me. Now I can find someone who really will love me, is not angry all the time, is sane, pretty, all that good stuff. Shares more common interests with me. I was getting frustrated with my wife as well, I found her boring, angry, we had very little in common. At first we had so much in common until it turned out she lied about it all... This time I'll make sure I'm not with a liar or some sort of mental disorder patient.

I think things as stories. My company being one, my life being one. And for every story, there needs to be the good breaks. I got one with my health, I mean you can't go through a long cancer journey with out a SINGLE break. That's what I believed until the very last time, that this will be my break, and it was! So now the next break I'll get is with women and relationships. I won't look too hard for a relationship, I'll be openly single, I'll go to the gym often, I'll ask around if any of my friends know anyone or any of their friends know anyone... I'm on Tinder now, finding it very interesting. Actually, our company made a very similar service, it was also based on geolocation and hypercards, but not a dating service... damn! So close! But it'll still be part of my storyt as well at some poitn... the point is, there will be a great story, and these stories will merge at some poitn into great success, maybe not this year, but soon. I can feeel it. I'm alradyt happier. I might have hard times first, some more crap, but at the end, this story will be a happy success story and I hope to inspire lots of people from cancer patients to start up folks to who ever believes in comign back from against the odds.

[N35t0r]

You are amazing, Pekka

[Main_Brain]

[Pekka]

Actually, it's very simple. I've been tortured for years, but I only realised it couple of months ago. So now, as I'm escaping the torture chambers? YEs of course I feel better. It's not a huge surprise. And while I was there, I baked a cake and get to keep it for later eating

I have an amazing house. It's luxorious. I have a decent car, a motorcycle. I have all the tech toys I wanted. I have 2 amazing kids. And now I have legit room for an amazing woman. I have my health back for the moment. I even have access to almost an endless supply of quality weed (medical). SO my life ROCKS!

Waiting for the hockey season to start. And in the meawhile, enjoying beer, playing with the kids and hopefully a few funny dates. I think I'm a decent date. I'm not Brad Pitt but I'm OK, I have manners and values. I don't look for one night stands, I have kids. You guys who are at my age and position know how other young moms are the hottest things in the world, right? I mean they are strong, they have absolutely amazing patience, and still if they can crack a smile and be fun, well that's a keeper right there. Plus they're hot.

[notyoueither]

Go Pekka, go!

[Pekka]

This Tinder is fairly nice actually. Just spamming all media for dates, and putting the word out there. I'm sure I'll get a date in few weeks! At least I hope so. I'm glad, this stuff goes both ways. I get cheated on, I get mistreated... OK, but then I get to fall in love again as well! All those first date jitters, thinking of nice things to do for the other... cards, flowers, little gifts. I write crappy poems too. I dance, I sing (poorly!) but women like when you make an effort. I've found otu that it doesn't matter how skillful you are, as long as you try and do your best. But if you suck, don't think you're the greatest. THat just would stink.

In any case, I'm starting to feel freedom, and that I'm also winning here. She has made this so easy by being so cruel, nasty and outright evil.

[Colon™]

Take care Pekka.

[notyoueither]

Glad to hear it Pekka.

On the dating front, don't be surprised if some of the better catches are really hesitant to date a man who is in the middle of what you are. It's called the rebound, and it can be a rough ride for the people you start dating.

[pchang]

I would not start dating until the divorce is final. Ex-wives and their lawyers have a way of twisting things around.

[Pekka]

Doesn't matter in this country...

I'm not dating anyone, nor actively seeking, I still actually wear the ring (she hasn't for months).
So we know she has another man, co-worker, but she is ALSO cheating on him!!! She's on Tinder 24/7, trying to find new men. There is a word for her, but I don't need to say it out loud here.

In any case, I'm meeting with my lawyer tomorrow, who specialises with parenting issues etc. And we are getting our proposal for how what we owe is split up from the other lawyers. The proposal is simple because it is based on facts: she gets nothing. I'll explain it when I have the time but even when she is entitled to 50 % of everything, if she goes for it, she has to pay to me! AND she will owe my dad like 20 grand at least. So we propose she walks out and shuts up. I could actually own 8th of her mom's home, but I have absolutely no desire for it in real life. But it's a nice nail we can punch with if she decides to be difficult.

What else? I got a personal trainer today! First time in my life, I actually decided to get one and pay for it. It's affordable, and considering she's a real national champion (women here usually, champions, go on to be at least European champions as well), so she really knows her stuff well. She's all into functional sports, and so am I, so we're about to get athletic. I still feel extremely happy about that decision, and she actually had to approve me as well, but I'm glad she approved me. She asked a lot about my motivation and WHY I am there and what do I seek to accomplish. Apparently I said the right things. I said I don't care about how much I weigh, I just want to be better in sports and be more flexible, stronger, faster and overall healthier. That's all it took. And that there was sincerity to it. She's a really nice person, of course it's her job and I'm the one paying her for it but undoubtetly I'll get some results with her. I feel like this is one of them important steps in building my life back up. So one down, one more to go tomorrow and we're off to a good continuance.

I'm in MY bedroom, typign this, as my soon to be ex-wife is sitting on MY couch, watching Netflix on MY movie theater... being all obnoxious to me, and cheating on me yesterday as well... but you know... it's coming. I'm glad I've been so patient.. it's been really hard. I haven't even yelled at her, not even once. I've bitten my tongue, because I know the day is coming. And it's soon, veeeeery soon now.