Still alive

[Pekka]

I'll think of that soon. Of course that is her "strategy".

She can't have the house even after my death should that happen too soon. Kids? There's really no way to protect them from the pain and horror that is my wife. Absolutely none. The first thing she will do is prohibit the kids to see my side of the family. It's actually a right in here. Not just legal, but a right.

I'll consult my lawyer what I can do in advance.

edit: So... tje best option is to keep living!

[N35t0r]

Pekka

[Pekka]

And oyu know guys... I'll most likely live another 5 years (hopefully)... maybe even 10. Then my daughter will be like 15... and my son 13. They'll understand so much stuff this stuff is not a problem anymore. It'll only be a tragedy to lose a father at that age but nothing more. And they'll get a nice house so they won't have to suffer from their mother's irresponsible financial behaviour.

So I can protect them a lot now.

Just think about how lucky I am? I actually went to the surgery, having a horrible diagnosis after that, that at least my wife will take kcare of the kids? And how WRONG I was. I was at peace with this knowledge. It is better to be alive to find otu this would have not been the case at all, now I'm on a mission. That is to live long, and to save the kids. So this is not a bad situation, this is really just a situation where I've had incredible luck I'll figure this out.

[Nikolai]

Pekka I'm glad you have such long time left. May it stay true!

[Sava]

In summary, I came out on top. Not on just top, but absolutely crushed my wife. 100-0.

edit: I mean there are only losers in these situations, nobody wins, but she LOST.

You need to update your sig with another win

[dannubis]

Pekka, I wish you a lot of happy years with your children. I hope you might find love and peace in the time to come.

[DaShi]

Congrats on destroying another human being!

The only problem is that after that you want more!!!

[notyoueither]

edit: So... tje best option is to keep living!

That's right.

now I'm on a mission. That is to live long, and to save the kids. So this is not a bad situation, this is really just a situation where I've had incredible luck I'll figure this out.

Yup!

Keep truckin', Pekka

[Pekka]

dashi, who did I destroy and how?

Today, she once again lied to me: our daughter's bday is today and she said her mom is coming over to "drop a present". OK. I asked how long will she be staying and she said well, until the kids go to sleep. I said not cool, it's our daughter's bday, and I want to be here. (The issue being we can't be in the same room, I just might stomp her face in, she's been obnoxious toward everyone in oru family, yellign us we're retards and that I'm a horrible father IN FRONT of our kids, etc. tellign my wife not to sign anything to slow this process down and wait if I happen to die first.. **** like that. So yeah, when ever we might cross paths, I just go somewhere else instead). Well, can't be helped. I said OK then, since you want it that way, I'll be at my dad BECAUSE if I WAS at home, it would ruin the day for thte kids as well, they sense things even if we were to keep our mouths shut.

So... she left at night but it didn't end there. In fact there were other ppl in here too. Turned out they had a bday party for my daughter. Without me of course. Which is really nice and polite. Our daughter asked me why I wasn't there. YOu might guess I wanted to go outside for a while to calm down. My wife knew about this for at least a week but was prolly too afraid to ask as her mom would state "I'll be coming over anyway".

So that's one more nail in their coffins. I was going to be nicer with giving some stuff to her new apartment, now she gets nothing. She can buy her own stuff. I don't owe her ANYTHING.

I don't even hate her. I jstu hate her mom. She's a real *****. Can't wait for her to get out of my life. And after divorce is final, not like I have to listen to her ****, or keep my mouth shut. I'll make sure she gets the message to shut up and never ever talk to me unless she has something good to say.

[Pekka]

dashi, who did I destroy and how?

Today, she once again lied to me: our daughter's bday is today and she said her mom is coming over to "drop a present". OK. I asked how long will she be staying and she said well, until the kids go to sleep. I said not cool, it's our daughter's bday, and I want to be here. (The issue being we can't be in the same room, I just might stomp her face in, she's been obnoxious toward everyone in oru family, yellign us we're retards and that I'm a horrible father IN FRONT of our kids, etc. tellign my wife not to sign anything to slow this process down and wait if I happen to die first.. **** like that. So yeah, when ever we might cross paths, I just go somewhere else instead). Well, can't be helped. I said OK then, since you want it that way, I'll be at my dad BECAUSE if I WAS at home, it would ruin the day for thte kids as well, they sense things even if we were to keep our mouths shut.

So... she left at night but it didn't end there. In fact there were other ppl in here too. Turned out they had a bday party for my daughter. Without me of course. Which is really nice and polite. Our daughter asked me why I wasn't there. YOu might guess I wanted to go outside for a while to calm down. My wife knew about this for at least a week but was prolly too afraid to ask as her mom would state "I'll be coming over anyway".

So that's one more nail in their coffins. I was going to be nicer with giving some stuff to her new apartment, now she gets nothing. She can buy her own stuff. I don't owe her ANYTHING.

I don't even hate her. I jstu hate her mom. She's a real *****. Can't wait for her to get out of my life. And after divorce is final, not like I have to listen to her ****, or keep my mouth shut. I'll make sure she gets the message to shut up and never ever talk to me unless she has something good to say.

[Kidlicious]

She's the destructive one. It sounds like her mom causes her problems.

[Pekka]

Kid, Yes! That's exactly what we (meaning me and my side of the family) thinks. It's obvious, we get along even in this situation quite well... and when she sees her mom, she's all upset and aggressive and making very non-sensical attacks on me. It is as if this is really me versus her mom, and my wife is used as a proxy at this point.

UPDATE: we did get an agreement on custody and it's a good one for the kids and us. She went for the money, I went for wanting to offer better schools for the kids. So we both get what we want; I have to pay a little more in alimony, but it secures good schools for both of the kids so I'm happy.

As for division of assets, it seems like it was all about the money (not the kids), and the source for all the rage. Unfortunately for her, we have NOT paid our mortgage back, so the house is bank's house. And as such, I owe her nothing. If we had actually paid the loan back in full, she'd then owe half and I'd have to pay half of the value, but now? NOpe, nothing. She does not understand it, she has a figure that I have to pay to her if it was the current value of the house (if it was sold) minus her part on the debt of the house. But that's not how it works (in here at least). If we HAD to sell the house, in case neither of us could pay for it, then yes, we'd have to sell it and we'd both get that money but, my friends.... I can pay the house, albeit slowly, but I just got cleared from the bank stating that the mortgage can be transferred to me in full and I don't need any back up, since my credit is golden at the moment. (thanks bank, I work there...). So in this case it does not have to be sold, so by default it's mine. But so is the mortgage of course, in full.

She somehow does not undertand this but keeps on raging how I somehow owe her tons of money. But I don't. Kind of sad... well, she should consult a real lawyer, they'd tell her we're not trying to screw her over but this is the way it goes.

Oh by the way! She's moving out on first of Oct!

To illustrate her support for me, she wished I'd die few days ago (in front of the kids). If I died before February (highly unlikely!), she would get the house... well not, but she'd get it and sell it. At that point my dad could demand all her debts to be paid to him, that would be like 170k at that moment... totally bankrupt her. He probably would not do it, being the mom of our kids but she'd better be nicer, that's the money she'd owe. Now she'd owe 100k (just to my dad) but we'll just let it go if she walk out.

[Pekka]

Kid, Yes! That's exactly what we (meaning me and my side of the family) thinks. It's obvious, we get along even in this situation quite well... and when she sees her mom, she's all upset and aggressive and making very non-sensical attacks on me. It is as if this is really me versus her mom, and my wife is used as a proxy at this point.

UPDATE: we did get an agreement on custody and it's a good one for the kids and us. She went for the money, I went for wanting to offer better schools for the kids. So we both get what we want; I have to pay a little more in alimony, but it secures good schools for both of the kids so I'm happy.

As for division of assets, it seems like it was all about the money (not the kids), and the source for all the rage. Unfortunately for her, we have NOT paid our mortgage back, so the house is bank's house. And as such, I owe her nothing. If we had actually paid the loan back in full, she'd then owe half and I'd have to pay half of the value, but now? NOpe, nothing. She does not understand it, she has a figure that I have to pay to her if it was the current value of the house (if it was sold) minus her part on the debt of the house. But that's not how it works (in here at least). If we HAD to sell the house, in case neither of us could pay for it, then yes, we'd have to sell it and we'd both get that money but, my friends.... I can pay the house, albeit slowly, but I just got cleared from the bank stating that the mortgage can be transferred to me in full and I don't need any back up, since my credit is golden at the moment. (thanks bank, I work there...). So in this case it does not have to be sold, so by default it's mine. But so is the mortgage of course, in full.

She somehow does not undertand this but keeps on raging how I somehow owe her tons of money. But I don't. Kind of sad... well, she should consult a real lawyer, they'd tell her we're not trying to screw her over but this is the way it goes.

Oh by the way! She's moving out on first of Oct!

To illustrate her support for me, she wished I'd die few days ago (in front of the kids). If I died before February (highly unlikely!), she would get the house... well not, but she'd get it and sell it. At that point my dad could demand all her debts to be paid to him, that would be like 170k at that moment... totally bankrupt her. He probably would not do it, being the mom of our kids but she'd better be nicer, that's the money she'd owe. Now she'd owe 100k (just to my dad) but we'll just let it go if she walk out.

edit: In fact I blame my wife less now as I've seen her mom in action. I think she is the sickest person in this setting.

[C0ckney]

less than 2 weeks to go pekka. stay strong and keep it cool my man.

[Pekka]

I'm cool... it's been tough though... i can handle 2 weeks!

I'll have a new MRI soon and the results are in the same day she's out so it'll be a GREAT party

I feel OK. I feel good. I think I'm good.

This will be over soon, and the most important part, custody, has been already settled and it didn't get ugly. I would have easily won but this is much better... I kind of feel bad for my wife, she's getting her information and pointers from her mom and they're totally wrong. They could at least check out law books from the internet (for free) to see if it is so. They're totally making up stuff. Of course, because I do have not 1 but 2 lawyers, they pretty much find it hilarious. I kind of feel bad for my wife then, actually. I think what a pity. Why did she have to go full cuckoo? I really did love her very very much. I thought she was the one. Turned out she was the one, just the other kind of a one.