Please don't take this too seriously.

[Sava]

On an entirely unrelated note, my one and only recreational activity (boardgames with my gaming group) has become increasingly unpleasant now that my ex and her boyfriend are always there. He's a perfectly nice guy who seems to like me just fine. (Actually, he's kind of a jerk to everyone else, but not in a way that bothers me beyond the fact that he's being a jerk to my friends.) But being there with the two of them in the house I used to live in and watching them be cute and realizing that he knows all the little details of her life that are now foreign to me is ****ing excruciating. I'm not sure that I can do it anymore. Which kind of sucks. I can still make her laugh. When we first started dating, she was surprised by my sense of humor. She expected me to be this super serious guy. And I can definitely be that, but I could always make her laugh, too. And I still can. Nothing has changed, goddammit. I had this wonderful relationship that I deliberately disassembled because of some **** about me not wanting children or something. Now I have to live in some crazy biazzro world where she lives in the same house and does the same things and still has a gamer boyfriend but it's not me.

I would advise moving out. This situation does not seem healthy for you.

[Bereta_Eder]

I don't think it's a good idea to keep seeing your ex especially with her new boyfriend, except if you're really over her.
You're like odysseus listening to the call of sirens, except you're not tied to any mast.

[Lorizael]

Oh, I don't live there. I moved out awhile back. But it's where we game, because it's where there's space.

[Sava]

Oh, I don't live there. I moved out awhile back. But it's where we game, because it's where there's space.

Okay good.
(and sorry for forgetting if you mentioned this before)

Try to spend more time away from them. It's difficult because you guys have the same friends. But for the time being (at least until you date someone else), you should probably limit the time you spend with them... maybe only see your other friends on an individual basis, rather than a group. Also, be honest with all relevant parties.

You need time away from her. It doesn't make them bad people.

At least, that's what I gather.

[Lorizael]

Yeah, I've mentioned moving out before, but this is a 900 post thread. You can be forgiven for not remembering every detail of my silly little life.

Thing three: I try really hard not to respond to BK anymore, but I still read his posts on occasion. Will tearing into him here provide stress relief or just hasten my inevitable heart attack?

[Sava]

Will tearing into him here provide stress relief or just hasten my inevitable heart attack?

Probably both. But definitely the first.


Also, you can rip on me if you want. I don't mind.

If it would help, I could argue something really stupid.

[Lorizael]

Nah, I'll leave it alone. BK's a troll and nothing more. Getting angry at it is just about as useful as getting angry at a bug bite that needs scratching.

[Sava]

Use this as a form:

LORIZAEL

I HATE HIM

LORI = POO

Just replace the ALLCAPS text in quote boxes to meet your needs.

I'll fix it so the quote boxes match up to actual faces.

[N35t0r]

Ignoring Ben

WRT work, do you actually have to manage people directly? Or what exactly does this project involve? You shouldn't put too much into your boss putting too much hope in you, at least not until you get to know him better. Maybe he's like this all the time? Do you really believe you're not up to the job?

As for your gaming group, it does sound like a tough place to be in. :-/ Is there any chance that you and your ex can alternate sessions, at least for a while? (I can guess that getting a new group of friends is out of the question, but what about trying to get in touch with some old friends you haven't seen in a while? While you may only see them a handful of times, it might provide the needed breather from your current setup. (which must be difficult as hell - I don't know if I could do it).

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

I have a new boss. He likes me and thinks I'm a good worker. He's having me spearhead an effort to clear out our backlog. I am terrified that when I screw up and break down under the pressure, he'll see who I really am and be deeply disappointed. I don't care all that much about his opinion of me, but I do care when people who have power over me see how broken and pathetic I truly am.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

[Lorizael]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

Indeed. The issue runs pretty deep for me, though, beyond work-related self-esteem issues. It came up a couple of times during my last therapy session (in this and other contexts), so my therapist decided it's something we should focus on next session (and probably other sessions as well).

[Sava]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

Question: What if you believe all "success" is based purely on luck, timing, and/or the result of deception?

[N35t0r]

Well, it does depend on luck. You didn't get run over, struck by lightning, or hit by a meteor so far, haven't you?

[Bereta_Eder]

or a bus

[Ben Kenobi]

Thing three: I try really hard not to respond to BK anymore, but I still read his posts on occasion. Will tearing into him here provide stress relief or just hasten my inevitable heart attack?

Feel free to tear into me all you like. I'm sorry things haven't really worked out for you, Lorizael.