Please don't take this too seriously.

[Ben Kenobi]

I joined my university's astronomy club thingy. And a new gaming place just opened up near where I live, so I might check that place out and see what's happening. But I am not very good at this whole being social thing. I'll get there, but not without considerable consternation.

Sounds like a good time. You should go. I personally know chicks who dig stars

[Lorizael]

Ahhh, I'm done with BK for awhile. I really should resist the temptation to read his posts.

Anywho, I am averse to cutting ties with my group for 2 reasons. First, it means I'll be even more lonely than I already am for awhile. And second, if I do so, they'll know just how broken I am. It's basically me admitting that I can't handle my ****, that nearly a year after breaking up with my ex, I still can't even function in close proximity to her.

[Felch]

For like the millionth time, just do a **** ton of drugs. Show up to the games high as ****, bring a big ass bong with you, and insist that they respect your rock and roll lifestyle. If they're not cool with you blazing while you play, that gives you an excuse to cut ties without it being about your actual insecurities.

It's like a black flag operation, but instead of letting the Japs bomb Pearl Harbor, you're just going to get high.

[dannubis]

Ahhh, I'm done with BK for awhile. I really should resist the temptation to read his posts.

Anywho, I am averse to cutting ties with my group for 2 reasons. First, it means I'll be even more lonely than I already am for awhile. And second, if I do so, they'll know just how broken I am. It's basically me admitting that I can't handle my ****, that nearly a year after breaking up with my ex, I still can't even function in close proximity to her.

It took me over a year an a half to get over my ex in such a way I was comfortable being in the same room as her. So no worries there. That aspect of your personality seems fully funtional and normal...

[Bereta_Eder]

Felch approach is great but why would you care how others see you?
Just say some white lie.
Or go away, find another gaming group, join them, and if they find out so what?
They can kiss your behind.
A lot of troubles begin because we are afraid how other people will judge us. As long as you're not being a ***** to anyone, why not just do what would really benefit you?

[Ben Kenobi]

Ahhh, I'm done with BK for awhile. I really should resist the temptation to read his posts.

I'm not sure why you think you're worthless and I'll continue challenging that assumption you have of yourself. I don't much care what the others here think.

[Lorizael]

...but why would you care how others see you?

I'm terrified of people knowing what a pathetic and defective sack of meat I really am. Clearly, this is not a good attitude. It's unhealthy for about three different reasons. But it's how I've thought for a very long time, and it's only going to change very slowly. (That's what the therapist is for.) And it runs deep. For example, see my sig. I seem to be pretty open about my feelings here on Poly, but I'm not really. There are parts of me that I truly despise, parts that I don't talk about with anyone, even my therapist (so far). I'm positive that if people knew these parts of me, they would never speak to me again.

[Sava]

I'm terrified of people knowing what a pathetic and defective sack of meat I really am. Clearly, this is not a good attitude. It's unhealthy for about three different reasons. But it's how I've thought for a very long time, and it's only going to change very slowly. (That's what the therapist is for.) And it runs deep. For example, see my sig. I seem to be pretty open about my feelings here on Poly, but I'm not really. There are parts of me that I truly despise, parts that I don't talk about with anyone, even my therapist (so far). I'm positive that if people knew these parts of me, they would never speak to me again.

I generally think everyone is a pathetic, defective sack... and I don't think this about you.

So that's something to feel proud of.

[Bereta_Eder]

We are all defective sacks of meat that are learning to dance under the rain.
Have you committed a crime? Have you done something terrible?
Nope.
So they might see you anxious or whatever and they will find out what? That you're like millions of people on earth that are trying to live their lives?

[Lorizael]

I generally think everyone is a pathetic, defective sack... and I don't think this about you.

So that's something to feel proud of.

I appreciate the sentiment, but I basically assume people only say these things to me because they don't want me to commit suicide.

[Ben Kenobi]

I basically assume people only say these things to me because they don't want me to commit suicide.

It couldn't honestly be that we see a decent, and intelligent young man who's simply depressed?

[Sava]

I appreciate the sentiment, but I basically assume people only say these things to me because they don't want me to commit suicide.

I'd rather you not, but it doesn't make that much difference to me if you did. Does that help?

I'm just kidding I lurv you

[rah]

Yeah, I'm working on the whole meeting new people thing. I joined my university's astronomy club thingy. And a new gaming place just opened up near where I live, so I might check that place out and see what's happening. But I am not very good at this whole being social thing. I'll get there, but not without considerable consternation.

I had to switch gaming clubs decades age in school for similar reasons. But what I did to make it easier was convince a few of my closer friend from the old group to check out the new club with me.
They were quite aware of why I needed to try a new club and despite that I was considered broken at the time by them, the supported me. It made the transition much easier and I met a lot of new friends. ( a few that I was friends with till they eventually passed.)

Years later I also reconnected with a lot of people from the old club when I was able to deal with it.


GO FOR IT. and good luck. Most people in gaming clubs are quite understanding since there's a reason they're in gaming clubs.

[Sava]

Stuff like this just pisses me off. I'm mad for you Lori.

I hate people. I hate people politics. Why do people have to be such morons?

rah

[Felch]

I appreciate the sentiment, but I basically assume people only say these things to me because they don't want me to commit suicide.

Do whatever you're gonna do, but before you off yourself, make sure you vote for Heather Mizeur in the primary.

This ain't Chicago; we need you breathing for your vote to count.