The Corrupt wish game

[ICBM]

Granted. After the Red Sox win the World Series, what little respect remained for baseball is put into high school/collegiate wrestling. This eventually results in the people participating in those events demanding millions of dollars for each wrestling match, and it becomes the pointless spectacle that professional wrestling is. Too bad.

I wish I was dictator of the world.

[Drake Tungsten]

Granted. You're now dictator of a world that ended when the Red Sox won the World Series.

I wish I didn't know what the word "yiff" means.

[Theben]

Originally posted by ICBM
I wish I was dictator of the world.

Granted. Immediately after becoming dictator, a powerful race of space aliens comes by claiming you are a threat to interplanetary security. They send inspectors to check out your claim that you have no weapons capable of reaching another planet, but they invade anyway when there's a galaxy-wide recession. They kick your ass out of power and spend the next 500 years looking for weapons of mass system destruction. You escape and survive in hiding by dressing in drag and singing old Diana Ross hits in sleazy transvestite clubs.

I wish that no one would ever again repeat a previously wished-for wish.

[Theben]

Bah.

Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
I wish I didn't know what the word "yiff" means.

Granted. You never quite comprehend this act that you're repeatedly forced to do.

I stand by my previous wish.

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Granted. Violators will be punished by death. Oops, looks like you repeated your wish. Off to the firing squad you go.

I wish my college applications were done.

[Q Classic]

they are. unfortunately, the name you've written on all of them is "ignatius peter freeleigh". you never hear back from them again.

i wish i wasn't so damned funny.

[Kuciwalker]

Granted. You never were :P

I wish I could instantly teloport to any location.

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Granted. You teleport to every location in the universe instantly and simultaneously, violating causality and forcing the universe to collapse upon itself.

I wish I had a warm beer.

[Theben]

Granted. You're in an English pub.

I wish all humor would be thrown on the ash heap of history.

[Enigma_Nova]

Granted. All joyous feelings are forever gone!

I wish that this post is immediately followed by repeditive postcount-appraising spam

[Q Classic]

granted, although it's repetitive, and postcount-appraising makes little sense.



i wish we could all learn to use proper grammar rules, as well as correct spelling and usage for all words, with the exception of the rules for capitalization.

[Thucydides]

Originally posted by Q Cubed
granted, although it's repetitive, and postcount-appraising makes little sense.



i wish we could all learn to use proper grammar rules, as well as correct spelling and usage for all words, with the exception of the rules for capitalization.

Granted, however everyone now uses Grammatically correct German, which tends not to make as much sense as grammatically incorrect English.

I wish I was at University of California that was being paid for by the military instead of the military right now.

[Ben Kenobi]

Granted, however you flunk out, and end up back in the military.

I wish that all my christmas shopping had good gifts for all of my friends and family, packed in a box at home.

[mrmitchell]

Granted. The box is wrapped in two hundred and eighty layers of duct tape, in addition to being guarded by twenty heavily armed elite forces specialists. In addition, the box has a self-destruct feature that will start when it is opened. If you bribe the guards and cut through the duct tape, opening the box will turn you and everything in the neighborhood into small little chunks.

I wish everyone was enlightened in the ways of Dr Pepper.

[self biased]

granted. humanity acheives enlightenment, and begins to trancend to godhood. jealous, a neighboring race of aliens nuke the planet and everyone on it before we're able to complete the sequence.

i wish i black diamond made flatwound strings.