Please don't take this too seriously.

[ColdWizard]

We're all researching psychology to identify this fixation and thinking up fantastical scenarios in which we help you with said fixation. I'm out first because attention span. And my phone was dirty. And there's a spot on my glasses. And my cup is empty.

Is it hyperfocus? Seems somewhat like that but I'm not sure.

[Felch]

I guess I should stop being so circumspect. So here it is in a slightly less circumspect fashion:

I get really into stuff. Like, a couple years ago I was working on a novel, and I needed a plausible explanation for some made up science thing happening on Europa. So I dug into what is known about Europa, and dug into chemistry and biology, and dug into the jargon scientists use and all that. I was reading journal papers and doing all sorts of research so that I could know as much as possible about what would amount to no more than a paragraph in my novel.

See, when I become interested in something, I research the **** out of it. It can get distracting, really. In fact, I've spent the last week researching just what the **** is wrong with me, because I absolutely have to know, and I have to be certain. It means I sleep less. It means I leave the house less. It means I get so caught up in what I'm researching that I sometimes forget which reality I'm living in.

And I can become interested, and fixated, on anything. It's been happening for decades. Most of the time it only lasts a few days, but sometimes it lasts for years. The fixation only happens in my head, sometimes taking the form of elaborate fantasies. But it never results in any action in the real world because all it is is a desire to know. I just want to know as much as possible about whatever I'm interested in, just in case I ever do encounter my interest in the real world. Then I will be an expert and choose the correct course of action. Except that there's always more to know, which means there's always uncertainty, which means I can never actually risk applying my knowledge.

Monkeys.

The only way that could be misinterpreted as dangerous is if you get fixated on people and stalk them. But stalking would involve leaving your home once in a while, which we've already discussed you avoid. I think you're perfectly safe sharing that with your shrink.

[ColdWizard]

The forgetting which reality thing could be grounds for involuntary commitment, perhaps.

[Al B. Sure!]

That was it? That is what made you sound like a paedophile?

[Lorizael]

It only happens for a split second. I have to remember whether or not a conversation I've had with someone happened for real or only in my head. There's only one instance in which I'm really not sure if something happened in reality or not.

...

Yes, I get fixated on people. No, I don't stalk them. Stalking, in a legal sense, generally involves harassment--following people around, contacting them endlessly, and causing emotional distress. I don't do any of that. I certainly don't cause distress, because the people I become fixated on usually aren't aware that I even exist (or that someone is fixating on them). All I do is collect information to fuel my fantasies. I don't even come by my knowledge illegally; I just (metaphorically) pick up what people leave lying around. (Ugh, I sound like I'm defending myself here. What I do is disgusting and creepy as all hell, but not strictly speaking illegal.)

...

This began in middle school, when I had a conversation with a particular girl in science class and became convinced that I was in love with her. I could not now tell you what that conversation was about, but I can say with absolute certainty that I was not truly in love with her. She was aware that I had a crush on her, but probably not aware that I spent a good chunk of my mental energy trying to figure out how to save her from the bad crowd she had fallen into, or trying to figure out what she was telling me when her hand brushed up against my desk that one time.

A lot of really embarrassing and painful stuff happened as a result of all this (she's the reason I once came close to suicide), but we're fast forwarding to 9th grade. I came into school one day and she approached me and told me to meet her at the bottom of E Hall at lunch because she needed to talk to me. I had no idea why she wanted to talk to me, but I certainly wasn't going to disobey my one true love. So I dutifully went down to E Hall at lunch and waited, and waited, but she never showed. The next time I had any measure of interaction with her was several years later when she walked into my local gaming store. She didn't recognize me; I fled the building.

Anywho, the point is that I sometimes have serious doubts that she ever approached me and told me to meet her at the bottom of E Hall. I sometimes believe I hallucinated that encounter. I can't say for sure. The other possibility, of course, is that she was just pulling a prank on me.

I hate myself.

[Sava]

that's it? i was hoping it was pedophile

[Al B. Sure!]

You need to man the hell up.

[Sava]

You need to shut the **** up.

[Lorizael]

You need to ****ing man the hell up.

Meaning what, exactly? Remember, I'm not some 28 year old virgin who's never touched a girl. I've had three very successful romantic relationships with real live human beings. But that fact doesn't stop me from obsessing.

[The Mad Monk]

Erg...how should I put this? Getting too deep in your fantasies is not something to hate yourself over. It sounds like you're doing some serious regret collecting though, something I'm guilty of and has kept me away from people more than I should, because I don't want to carry around another embarrassing, exasperating memory. I can't tell you what to do about it, I've never really figured it out myself.

[Al B. Sure!]

You need to shut the **** up.

You need to stop babying him. Babying him isn't going to accomplish anything. It's on him. He needs a kick in the chest to reintroduce some will and discipline in his body. That's real talk.

[Lorizael]

Speer, I'm not in the Marines. Your "real talk" isn't going to have any effect on me because you don't actually have any real world power over me. I have no incentive to do what you say. (You'll say that the incentive is that I get better, except that your words don't provide that incentive. I already want to get better, but wanting is not enough.)

[Felch]

It only happens for a split second. I have to remember whether or not a conversation I've had with someone happened for real or only in my head. There's only one instance in which I'm really not sure if something happened in reality or not.

Pffft. **** like that happens to me three or four times a week.

[Ben Kenobi]

You need to stop babying him. Babying him isn't going to accomplish anything. It's on him. He needs a kick in the chest to reintroduce some will and discipline in his body. That's real talk.

**** off Speer.

[self biased]

You need to stop babying him. Babying him isn't going to accomplish anything. It's on him. He needs a kick in the chest to reintroduce some will and discipline in his body. That's real talk.

this is maddeningly unhelpful, and showcases just how little you know about human psychology.