Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

Pizza delivery guy delivered diet Mountain Dew instead of regular Mountain Dew. Life is terrible. Considering going out just to pick up some Dew. Not sure what will win out: addiction or laziness.

[rah]

That's the problem making sense of how he feels sometimes since I'm usually an optimist.

[ricketyclik]

Pizza delivery guy delivered diet Mountain Dew instead of regular Mountain Dew. Life is terrible. Considering going out just to pick up some Dew. Not sure what will win out: addiction or laziness.

If laziness wins it's a pathetic addiction

[Lorizael]

Well I won't have anyone claiming my dew addiction is pathetic. Off to 7-11 I go!

[ricketyclik]

My job here is done

[Lorizael]

While picking up my dew, Hurt came on the radio. You know, just in case I'd somehow failed to make the connection between my addiction and my crippling depression. Thanks, universe.

[pchang]

Addiction to sugar? I don't think that is an addition. That is evolution.

[Lorizael]

My addiction is to caffeine. But you can be addicted to anything.

[pchang]

Caffeine? Then who cares whether it is diet Mountain Dew or regular?

[Lorizael]

Diet Mountain Dew is terrible.

[ricketyclik]

Those diet drinks always seem to have a metallic aftertaste to me.

[I AM MOBIUS]

A threat to the plan has appeared. Another male has been spotted fraternizing with the target. Do I proceed with the plan? Do I deploy countermeasures to eliminate the rival male? Do I concede the contest given that the new player appears to be a superior male specimen? Beep Boop.

Hmm, better cross your fingers then and hope for the best.

Seen more than one potential Ms MOBIUS slip through the fingers of procrastination, which is why I'm never one to hang around in situations like these.

Though I do understand your situation is slightly different.

[pchang]

Diet Mountain Dew is terrible.

Then you are not really addicted. A true addict would have just downed the diet Mountain Dew, and then gone to the store to buy regular Mountain Dew.

[Lorizael]

Guys... I'm totally going to bang this chick. I... I think she's flirting with me in the feedback she left me for the last homework I turned in.

So, briefly, we had to diagram the sentence, "Alice swatted the fly with her hand." English sentences can be constructed such that the prepositional phrase "with her hand" can be attached to the verb phrase "swatted" or the noun phrase "the fly." But, obviously, "the fly with her hand" is not a grammatical construction, so in this case it has to be attached to the verb phrase instead. When I pointed this out, her feedback to me was:

That's one possible correct answer. (I'll confess I had high hopes that you might be the person to come up with a suitably gory context to legitimate the NP+PP reading...)

I'm not exactly quick on the uptake socially speaking, but that's flirting, right? I'm totally gonna bang this chick, aren't I?

[rah]

Normally I would advise caution when trying to make sense out of mutterings by the better sex, but something is going on here.
I think you're reading it correctly. Good luck. Don't get paranoid at the last minute and blow it.