Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

You should find her and punch her in the boob.

I sincerely hope I never encounter her again.

Someday you will die. Then what good will your knowledge be! Huh? HUH?!!!!

I don't plan on dying.

[Aeson]

I guess I should stop being so circumspect. So here it is in a slightly less circumspect fashion:

I get really into stuff. Like, a couple years ago I was working on a novel, and I needed a plausible explanation for some made up science thing happening on Europa. So I dug into what is known about Europa, and dug into chemistry and biology, and dug into the jargon scientists use and all that. I was reading journal papers and doing all sorts of research so that I could know as much as possible about what would amount to no more than a paragraph in my novel.

See, when I become interested in something, I research the **** out of it. It can get distracting, really. In fact, I've spent the last week researching just what the **** is wrong with me, because I absolutely have to know, and I have to be certain. It means I sleep less. It means I leave the house less. It means I get so caught up in what I'm researching that I sometimes forget which reality I'm living in.

And I can become interested, and fixated, on anything. It's been happening for decades. Most of the time it only lasts a few days, but sometimes it lasts for years. The fixation only happens in my head, sometimes taking the form of elaborate fantasies. But it never results in any action in the real world because all it is is a desire to know. I just want to know as much as possible about whatever I'm interested in, just in case I ever do encounter my interest in the real world. Then I will be an expert and choose the correct course of action. Except that there's always more to know, which means there's always uncertainty, which means I can never actually risk applying my knowledge.

Monkeys.

Make websites about the subjects if you can.

I'm the same way. For the first 30 years I kept all of it internal for the reasons you describe. Find a way to get it out. Anything that interests you, interests someone else. Probably a large group of people who are trying to find out about it on the internet.

At worst the website you put up under a pseudonym bombs and you spent a few bucks on therapy (getting it out). Get a bit lucky and you have a business.

I know you can do this, because that's what this thread is. It just has my ads on it and needs a subject matter with wider appeal.

[Sava]

this is maddeningly unhelpful, and showcases just how little you know about human psychology.

[Sava]

honestly Lori, I don't get why you are worried (unless needless worrying is the problem)

As far as I can tell, you aren't doing anything illegal or immoral. You aren't hurting anyone else.

just chill your mind's voice a little bro

[Lorizael]

Here's how I look at it. If I were obsessed with a girl, and constantly looking for information about her, and playing through intricate fantasies involving her, and she found out, she'd be justifiably creeped the **** out.

[Sava]

well yeah


but that's how it works


hey, i was looking up my neighbor's hot friends on FB (they graduated HS this year)

yesterday, I even took a creepshot
before you judge, let me explain:

i have an awesome camera with a super zoom that allows me to see the lunar landscape quite clearly when i look at the moon

the one girl was wearing super short shorts and her ass was hanging out

I couldn't not take a picture of that

[Bereta_Eder]

Maybe all this "distant - searching" is being done because something, for the time being, stops you from going out in the "real world" and just finding out in a direct way, what it is you'll find out.

Because this searching doesn't actually reveal the other person.
She could be listening to classical music, so you say, oh here's a kind hearted sensitive soul.
But, in reality, she could be a *****.

So maybe this is just a byproduct of an avoidance personality and once you get over this, this "remote searching" will diminish.

Also "knowing everything there is to know about something/someone" doesn't mean you actually control it.

[Lorizael]

well yeah


but that's how it works


hey, i was looking up my neighbor's hot friends on FB (they graduated HS this year)

yesterday, I even took a creepshot
before you judge, let me explain:

i have an awesome camera with a super zoom that allows me to see the lunar landscape quite clearly when i look at the moon

the one girl was wearing super short shorts and her ass was hanging out

I couldn't not take a picture of that

Yeah, that's not something I could ever do. To me, that crosses some kind of fuzzy line I've got drawn in my head. If all I am is a passive collector of information, then it's "okay."

[Sava]

Yeah, that's not something I could ever do. To me, that crosses some kind of fuzzy line I've got drawn in my head. If all I am is a passive collector of information, then it's "okay."

I consider something to be "active" when I'm not sitting in my computer chair.

[N35t0r]

I don't plan on dying.

Disembodied brain. Bam, called it.

[N35t0r]

Make websites about the subjects if you can.

I'm the same way. For the first 30 years I kept all of it internal for the reasons you describe. Find a way to get it out. Anything that interests you, interests someone else. Probably a large group of people who are trying to find out about it on the internet.

At worst the website you put up under a pseudonym bombs and you spent a few bucks on therapy (getting it out). Get a bit lucky and you have a business.

I know you can do this, because that's what this thread is. It just has my ads on it and needs a subject matter with wider appeal.

This sounds like an interesting thing to try.

Also, anything that interests you interests someone else.

[MOBIUS]

Wow. Is THAT it!?

Seriously. You are worrying over nothing. I 'action' far more of what you think is 'crossing the line' and I think most of it anyone would do given the chance. Other stuff might be deemed 'questionable', (but not illegal) but that's the power of the information age these days and I like to know things for better or worse...

Knowledge is power and it allows me to make informed decisions.

[Lorizael]

That girl from middle school? At the time, I knew her entire class schedule, her phone number, her address, her screennames, every outfit she wore, every hairstyle she had, and her favorite brand of cigarette. Yeah, that was really useful information for me to have. I made some very informed decisions with it.

[rah]

The more I read of this thread, the more normal I think you are. I had a similar obsession in grade school and then HS and so on. Granted not quite as extreme as yours but not that far off.

[Felch]

Here's how I look at it. If I were obsessed with a girl, and constantly looking for information about her, and playing through intricate fantasies involving her, and she found out, she'd be justifiably creeped the **** out.

Two things to consider.

First, if some homely girl was obsessing over you, would you be freaked out or flattered? As long as she keeps her weirdness to herself, I'd be flattered. Even if I wouldn't want to bang her in a million years, it's kind of cool to know somebody is obsessing over you and regarding you as a celebrity. In fact, it has happened, and it was kind of cool.

Second, the girls we all obsess over are obsessed over by guys all the time. Most of them are quite used to it. I doubt many of them are bothered by shy guys fantasizing about them. They've got genuine ******* predators to worry about. So as long as you're not digging through their trash or trying to guess their facebook passwords or anything truly egregious like that, you're not even on their radar.

Just imagine if you were a hot girl and every guy you met was trying to bang you. You'd get used to the idea pretty quickly, and you'd probably be accustomed to guys trying to find out your favorite flavor of ice cream or daydreaming about you. And as long as they don't bother you about it, none of it would really be an issue.

There are genuinely creepy and weird guys in the world. You are not one of them.

Also, I know that I've done everything you mention here. Concocting elaborate fantasies, finding out everything I can about a girl, all that stuff. It would be embarrassing if a girl knew I was obsessing over her, but I don't think that any of them would have ever gotten super freaked out.