Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

Yeah. I struggle with trying to figure out why my childhood experiences had such a dramatic effect on me. Obviously a lot of people got bullied, but I reacted in a way that had some pretty unfortunate side effects come adulthood. (There's more than just the bullying, and more than just me being emotionless, but that's what we're talking about right now.) It's hard not to think that there's something wrong with me in particular that I wasn't able to just "get over it" and lead a normal adult life.

My therapist doesn't want me to look at it that way. She thinks it's not valid to compare my experiences to other people's experiences. And she wants me to focus on the positive aspects of what happened. I didn't respond in the best way, but I responded in a way that allowed me to survive (which is a sign that I have more positive qualities than I believe). And now the goal is to shift my behaviors from what let me survive as a kid to what will help me thrive as an adult. /me shrugs.

[rah]

It didn't take that long for me to get over it. 1st of college when everyone starts out again on a new foot. I didn't join a frat to continue the cycle. In the dorms we all got a fresh start.

[Lorizael]

Well, I only passed 4/7 of my classes my senior year. And my SAT scores were good, but not great. And I had basically no motivation at that point in my life. So I didn't go to university. I tread water at my local community college and then dropped out after wasting a chunk of my parents' money.

[rah]

I dropped out one semester also, but went back a few years later. (I wasted some money also)
Quite a few of friends did similar so not so different.
I was working a construction site and got injured and my dad talked me into going back to school while I was in the hospital. That was my motivation.
I was pleased that my dad was still willing to back me after I had screwed up the first time and wasted his money.

[Lorizael]

In other news, I just got the word from Maryland that they're readmitting me. So woo.

[rah]

Kool. Take advantage of it.

[pchang]

Try to move to on-campus housing. Take only what you really need. Leave the rest behind (or in the trash).

[Bereta_Eder]

Your story has similarities with mine and I guess with a lot of people.
Actually I never had any bullying but I felt like you many times.
what rah says though, does make sense.
Things do change with age.

therapy is important in that it tries to reduce all these thoughts we have that are unrealistic and are holding us back.
Even though these last days I strongly contemplate taking a breether from everything (thanks vacations) and maybe pay a visit to my therapist,
when the session ended and I got out on life I saw many things he was saying being verified by life itself. I also was making strides during the therapy in the areas that interested me but I never NEVER gave credit to myself for it.
Anxiety comes from many different things, from the way we think, from the way we live. Some things can get changed others can't and you have to just accept that fact.
Also to be kinder to yourself. This goes a very long way, it's not trivial, don't overlook this if you can help it.
As a side note, my anxiety was up the roof during therapy (a little thing known as "defenses")

[Lorizael]

Try to move to on-campus housing. Take only what you really need. Leave the rest behind (or in the trash).

I'm not going to live in a dorm with a bunch of 18-year-olds.

[pchang]

I'm not going to live in a dorm with a bunch of 18-year-olds.

Have you considered that half of them will be women?

[Jon Miller]

I'm not going to live in a dorm with a bunch of 18-year-olds.

It depends on what you want. Right now, you want something different.

Living with a bunch of 18-year-olds who want to play games and talk about physics/math/philosophy should be possible. I am not saying that is what you want, so it might not be attractive.

I know I wouldn't want it, but then I want a wife and kids and to be a professor. If I wanted none of those things, then living with a bunch of 18-year-olds playing games and talking about such subjects would be pretty cool.

JM
(better if they are graduate students and 22-25 instead of 18...just look for housing near campus)

[Lorizael]

Have you considered that half of them will be women?

Who are going to be super attracted to a pudgy, balding 28-year-old still getting his undergrad degree.

[pchang]

Who are going to be super attracted to a pudgy, balding 28-year-old still getting his undergrad degree.

Who can legally buy them alcohol

[N35t0r]

right, silly US.

[rah]

Who can legally buy them alcohol

Ding ding ding ding.

Yes, when I finally went back to school I was older than everyone else, and it made me quite popular. Take advantage of it. (I got a lot of attention from the women despite my mediocre looks.)