Please don't take this too seriously.

[rah]

Yeah really. At my age I remember very little from high school (thank god. But the most important thing is when I look back, all the crap I went through in HS is meaningless today.
A good lesson to learn.

[Lorizael]

Once, during my senior year, my high school girlfriend and I were arguing outside of class and I said something ridiculously stupid to her. She was so upset by what I said that she began crying and screaming hysterically. This did not go unnoticed by the rest of the school population. I was mortified, but I pretty much deserved it.

My high school girlfriend was way less stable than I was. She had a ****ed up family life and a lot of insecurity and she knew how to turn the crazy on to get what she wanted.

I went to her wedding this past January. She's a music teacher, in two bands, happy, successful, and married to a wife she loves very deeply (who--funny story--she only knows because of me).

But I'm still that kid who brought her so much pain that day in our senior year. It's very heard to let go of the past.

[rah]

She's obviously gotten past it, so there's no reason for you to hang on to it.

[Bereta_Eder]

Do you have this expression: "eyes not seen, easily forgotten"?
Dwelving on the past, escapism, all of that are good things, to a degree, sometimes they help us cope with our true, in front of our eyes reality, (by diverting our eyes from looking at it directly).

But it is a diversion that could become counterproductive if there is no balancing grasp in our everyday reality.
By looking back (at photos, texts whatever) you basically see a snapshot of who you were then. Maybe they don't have a tangible relevance for today. (except if you keep coming back again and again on a specific recouring theme)

[Lorizael]

Do you have this expression: "eyes not seen, easily forgotten"?

Sounds like, "Out of sight, out of mind."

By looking back (at photos, texts whatever) you basically see a snapshot of who you were then. Maybe they don't have a tangible relevance for today. (except if you keep coming back again and again on a specific recouring theme)

Yeah, this is one of the things the therapist has tried to impress upon me, that there are superficial similarities between who I am now and who I was then, but there are clear, objective differences that show I'm a different person now.

[pchang]

Bytes are cheap. It's cost me essentially nothing to keep all those old logs (discounting the tremendous emotional strain). In fact, I keep everything from my old computer whenever I get a new computer, and every computer I've owned has had an order of magnitude more storage space than the previous one.

It's not the cost. It's the effort required.

[rah]

So when I got a new computer, I was getting ready to chuck the old one and my wife goes, "you can't do that, there's a lot of things on there that I need".
So I left it side by side to my new one and set it up for remote connect so it could be accessed. Time passes and she never uses the remote connect.
So When I got a newer computer, I was getting ready to chuck the old one and the one before that, but again my wife goes. "you can't do that, there's a lot of things on there that I need".
So instead of pointing out that she NEVER went back to the previous one I said yes dear. (There is a reason we've been married over 25 years.

But this time I cheated and bought a few external hard drive cases and removed the hard drives and now have them USB attached FOR THE WIFE NOT TO USE ANYTIME IN THE NEAR OR FAR FUTURE.
But at least they take up a lot less space. The next time I'm just going to lay the old drive on my desk and tell the wife that I can remote into it.

[pchang]

So when I got a new computer, I was getting ready to chuck the old one and my wife goes, "you can't do that, there's a lot of things on there that I need".
So I left it side by side to my new one and set it up for remote connect so it could be accessed. Time passes and she never uses the remote connect.
So When I got a newer computer, I was getting ready to chuck the old one and the one before that, but again my wife goes. "you can't do that, there's a lot of things on there that I need".
So instead of pointing out that she NEVER went back to the previous one I said yes dear. (There is a reason we've been married over 25 years.

But this time I cheated and bought a few external hard drive cases and removed the hard drives and now have them USB attached FOR THE WIFE NOT TO USE ANYTIME IN THE NEAR OR FAR FUTURE.
But at least they take up a lot less space. The next time I'm just going to lay the old drive on my desk and tell the wife that I can remote into it.

I tell the wife we need to donate the old computers to the local school or library. This usually gets her to do something or let them go.

[rah]

I'll try that on the next one but she'll probably come up with some bizarro explanation that the students will be able to recreate the hard drive and access our financial records. (which we don't keep on that computer) But it's worth a shot.

[Lorizael]

You guys remember the first Men in Black, with the Bug who wore an Edgar suit? And as the film progressed, it became harder and harder for the Bug to keep the Edgar suit together? He shambled around, and parts fell off, and people gave him weird looks. Well, that's me. There are times when I feel like I'm unraveling, like everything I put up to hide myself from the world is coming undone and soon the real me will be exposed. Except instead of the real me being a gigantic fearsome bug, it's a pathetic dysfunctional child. Back in 2008, when I was a tech writer for the FAA, this happened. I unraveled completely, and my boss called me in to ask what was wrong, and I explained that I was a seriously depressed, unmotivated failure who'd been lying about his work for months and that I needed serious help. Then I walked out and never came back, even though the contracting company I was with called me several times with offers to let me come back to work and get treatment. That was one of my dumber decisions. I was unemployed for several months and blew through all of my savings. I haven't yet recovered financially. (There have been other hits to my finances since, like the time I was fired and lived on unemployment for several months.) Paragraphs are for ****ers.

[Sava]

I started up OkCupid again a week or so ago. So far the only person to message me is a porn bot. There are times when being a chick is easier.

It's tough. I've tried a couple times in the last month.

Also, women have been raped in the process of dating. So... you might want to rethink the whole "they have it easier" thing.

[Lorizael]

There are times when being a chick is easier. Women are more likely to be messaged than men on (most) dating sites. That's uncontroversial and the only point I was making.

[rah]

Since I doubt I would have been able to reach many of the positions that I've held at different companies if I was a women, I don't thind they have it easier. I know you guys are talking about dating but overall they have it worse. And if you're a wealthy male, women will answer anything you ask and getting dates isn't an issue.

[MOBIUS]

There are times when being a chick is easier. Women are more likely to be messaged than men on (most) dating sites. That's uncontroversial and the only point I was making.

Yes, that is incontrovertibly true.

I always have these kinds of arguments with my female friends about this - one of them even calls it 'man shopping', just waiting for all the mail to come flooding in...

Though, I have to say that my first and only foray into online dating (Match last year) was pretty successful in that I only stopped lurking when I saw a perfect 'match' and in the process for hunting her down (success!) I got bombarded with about 10 emails from mostly very hot women - including at least a few who I knew I'd enjoy being eaten alive by...

Not sure whether I should have concentrated solely on my prey, as I did, or diversified a little at least to have a bit of fun...

I think I'm too nice for my own good sometimes...

[Lorizael]

Yes, overall, women have it worse. I'm not Kidicious, guys.