Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

I told my sister about the shower thing, and she pointed out what a terrific social faux pas it is to be still having sexytime FIVE MINUTES before a thing is to start at your place. Advertant or not, no matter who shows up for it, thoughtless and rude.

I honestly can't be sure exactly what they were doing in the shower. I didn't have my ear against the door or anything. It's quite possible they were just showering together because that's quicker than showering apart.

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

Thoughtless. and. rude.

[Lorizael]

Yeah, well, what can you do. That's not even close to the most cringe-worthy sex thing to happen to me.

[Elok]

I honestly can't be sure exactly what they were doing in the shower. I didn't have my ear against the door or anything. It's quite possible they were just showering together because that's quicker than showering apart.

It probably doesn't matter, but FWIW, have you ever tried doing it in the shower? They're really not built for that kind of thing, so it's hella awkward unless you're much more limber than (I suspect) your typical gaming-group member. I'm sure not up to it.

Yeah, I know, cold comfort.

[Lorizael]

...I know precisely what the logistical requirements are for sex in that particular shower. And the new boyfriend is way more fit than I am.

[Elok]

Well, ****. Sorry, should have kept my mouth shut.

[Lorizael]

No biggie.

[Lorizael]

Sigh. I really wish I were the type of person who could engage in casual sex. Alternatively, I wish I were in a fulfilling romantic relationship. But I'll take the sex.

[Elok]

I sometimes think I'm fortunate that I've never had an ex, strictly speaking. OTOH, I never had an ex because I spent about a decade of my life idolizing ridiculously inappropriate women and getting shot down over and over again on the rare occasion I tried to do more than sigh from a distance. There are times where, looking back, I wish I hadn't had my head up my butt and I could've had fun just getting to know girls. But I know full well that there would've been plenty of pain there too. It's just easier to think of the happy potential than the inevitable thorns and brambles that mix with it.

[Dinner]

I find it is a numbers game. Granted I haven't played that game much recently but back when I did it really was a 90% won't go any where so if you want to have a choice make a pass at as many women as possible, most will say no, but a certain percentage will say yes so just hit on enough of them.

[Sava]

Tell her that you want her gone from your life. Reciprocity is a prerequisite for friendship.

This.

[Lorizael]

This.

I really don't understand this attitude. I have a lot of trouble making friends. Why would I voluntarily give up one?

[self biased]

because it seems like this friendship is toxic to you? I went through something similar, but recounting the anecdote dom my phone isn't really feasible.

[Sava]

I really don't understand this attitude. I have a lot of trouble making friends. Why would I voluntarily give up one?

I agree with self biased

From what has been described of the situation, the friendship seems toxic. A bad friendship isn't worth having. But there's no need for a direct confrontation over this matter. If it were me, I'd just stop talking to the person. Respond if they reach out. Reciprocate friendship if it is offered (in a healthy way). But don't put up with bull****.

And yes, your ex fooling around with a new BF while you are around (or going to be expected) is bull****. It's abusive. It's passive aggressive bull****. It's toxic. It's unacceptable behavior AFAIC.

That's my take on it. But also, we're different people. And I'm outside the norm when it comes to socializing and whatnot.

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

I do not think Tuber, self and Sava are wrong.

Lori, I know you don't want to give up your gaming group or even contact with her, but maybe you'd be better off not encouraging/seeking contact. The very best to be said of the incident is that she was inconsiderate.