Please don't take this too seriously.

[MOBIUS]

There could be other dynamics in play, such as the new BF feels threatened by Lori and engineered this situation and stamp 'ownership'?

Or

She still wants Lori and is showing him what she's missing and hopes he'll fight for her - or is turned on by the prospect of him catching them?

Or

They fancied a threesome...

Given the situation: being allowed access to the apartment, knowing you generally turn up early, allows them to create a situation that only Lori will happen across - I find it really difficult to imagine that it was an accident...

The real question is: what were the real motives behind this 'accident'...? After all, Lori was the one who ended it and cast his ex aside, if you will...

Also, apart from obvious issues of emotional self-preservation, I don't really see why this friendship should necessarily be avoided? If it were me, I imagine I'd view it from a stance of amused detachment. Why cut off your gaming group because of some perceived pettiness from the other party - especially if you're playing into their (definitely his and maybe hers) hands if you do?

You left her, so unless you've changed your mind and want her back, then it's simply not your problem - apart from the fact that currently you're not getting any and they are. If you have changed your mind, then your simply being in the picture and her friend is usually an issue to the new boyfriend - especially because he knows you broke off with her and she still wants to be your friend - any guy that's even a bit emotionally crippled will likely have a massive problem with that at some point...

I simply don't understand the can't be friends afterwards thing tbh, if both of you are cool with it, why not...

[MOBIUS]

I find it is a numbers game. Granted I haven't played that game much recently but back when I did it really was a 90% won't go any where so if you want to have a choice make a pass at as many women as possible, most will say no, but a certain percentage will say yes so just hit on enough of them.

That entire post reeks of desperation...

[Lorizael]

The friendship seems toxic? Because of this one incident? The ex has gone out of her way thus far not to do anything even remotely romantic or sexual with the new boyfriend in front of me. I know this, because I know what the two of us were like together. I can't speak for the new boyfriend, although he seems like a decent enough guy. But if my ex really did this to hurt me in some fashion, then she's simply not the person I thought she was (and I've known her for 5 and a half years).

[MOBIUS]

I don't think it's toxic and I think it's entirely healthy for you to continue it as long as you're OK with it.

But that's not to say there aren't other potentially subconscious factors at play - they might not even realise they're up to...

[Lorizael]

If they did do it on purpose, they're damn good actors. Overheard after they got out of the shower:

New bf: "I think someone's here."

Ex: "Who?"

New bf: "Someone who drives a < Lori's car >."

Ex: "Oh, that's Lori."

New bf (calling out): "Hi, Lori!"

Lori: "Hello, folks."

[MOBIUS]

What else can you do but act nonchalantly? It's worked for me (or at least I'm not going to be obviously embarrassed by it) countless times...

[DaShi]

Again, I very much doubt my ex did this on purpose. For the duration of our time apart, she has maintained that she wants to remain friends with me--that I'm her best friend--and that she doesn't want me gone from her life. If she genuinely believes that, I can't imagine why she would intentionally do something like this. On the other hand, I can't speak for the new boyfriend. It's certainly possible he delayed events so as to create such a scenario. I don't know him well enough to know. I hope my ex isn't dating someone who would behave thusly, but I just can't know.

I've never met this boyfriend, but based on what you've said about him, I can say with 100% certainty that he is a sociopath. I suggest using your best-friend status to make subtle and innocuous hints that your friend is two-timing him and watch the drama ensue. You might even get laid out of it.

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

Now, how did the meeting at school go?

This time I checked what day today is before I asked.

[Lorizael]

I'll be taking a retroactive "leave of absence" for this semester and I should be allowed to return next semester without having negatively affected my GPA. Although I'm pretty sure the leave of absence thing will go down in my permanent record.

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

I'm very happy for/with you; I know that was an hard thing to do, embarrassment being the power it is over us.

[Lorizael]

Thanks. So far only one psychologist in the counseling department and the Assistant Dean of the College of Computer, Mathematical, and Natural Sciences know that I'm a gigantic failure.

[Lorizael]

Intake at the University of Maryland is high-tech. They gave me a Chromebook and made me fill out a bunch of surveys asking me how frequently I commit suicide and all that. And the counselor had all that information available by the time I walked into her office.

[Ben Kenobi]

Good. Now it's time for you to get better Lori. And you're not a failure!

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

Intake at the University of Maryland is high-tech. They gave me a Chromebook and made me fill out a bunch of surveys asking me how frequently I commit suicide and all that. And the counselor had all that information available by the time I walked into her office.

I had to take an IQ test today, on the other hand, because the bean-counters lost the records of the one from seven months ago and didn't know I'd already been through the same interview in the same room administered by the same lady. It is also a mystery to everyone what my IQ has to do with anything.

I love being treated with so much respect. I also love being at the mercy of bean-counters and their forms.

[Ben Kenobi]

Events were supposed to commence at 3 pm. I got there at 2:55 pm and was the first to arrive. When I entered the house (I still have the code and the key and my ex has refused to take the key or change the code)... my ex and the new boyfriend were in the shower together. Arg. Awkward. Mother****ing awkward. I sat in the living room and played with the ex's cat while... you can fill in the rest of this joke.

Should I not show up early at all? Should I not show up at all? Should I not be bothered by this? Arggggg.

First thought, "ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU, LORI."

I don't think this has anything at all to do with you. I think that your first thought is the correct one, that they simply lost track of time, and didn't realize it was that late.

Second thought, I'm not sure there's anything to be done about this other than to simply brush it aside and move on. I had to work with an ex for about 4-5 months after we split. We were happy together, it wasn't acrimonious or anything. At the end of it, there was a very nice coworker who wasn't aware we had split or that anything had changed. I took that as a compliment at the time that we were able to keep things up professionally.

I'm not sure I see why the others are saying this is a 'toxic friendship', based on this one incident. It seems to me more likely they just didn't plan things the way you plan things.