Video on how to get a woman?

[Heraclitus]

I don't know. I don't remember exactly. It wasn't anything retarded. It flowed naturally from the conversation. All I really remember clearly was she saying she was working on Saturday (even though she told me a few days ago she was off) then when I said Sunday then she said no because that's her only day off then she said something about being off on Monday so that wasn't her only day off but she doesn't know yet and will tell me later. Oh yeah, I'm tired and going to bed now. Bye.

She probably has plans. Attractive women always have *some* plans on what to do on the next Saturday, at a minimum she and her girlfriends are going out dancing. These plans vary unpredictably in "importance", when you aren't sure how attracted the girl is to you try to schedule for other days. Depending on the culture Fridays may be similar.

I do have a question. Which implicit frame did the proposition carry? Was it "a fun thing I'm (and perhaps a friend or two) are going to do anyway and you're invited" or "if you agree we can go".

Also by offering another day right away you signaled you are willing to make time for her, be carefull this can appear needy.

Also emotional momentum is very important. The faster you progress from stage A to stage B the easier it will be to progress from stage B to stage C. The exception to this is buyers regret, but you only need to worry about this if you spend too much time on physicality not providing enough material to feed the lovely hamster in her head to keep spining the wheel of rationalization that prevents her from feeling slutty or "easy". Avoid anything serious or boring (politics, religion, non-feel good philosophy), while sprinkling your speech with chick crack (any sort of cooky personality test or supersition like palm reading will do). Also, try to get her to emote when talking to her. All emotions will help you as long as she dosen't shut you off if you focus to much on negative emotions she will do this), try not to pass the tolerance line on those and counterbalance them with induced positive emotions so that overall you are associated with pleasure rather than pain. Flubber mentioned asking questions to keep her engaged, this is ok but its better to rephrase questions as statments, this mimics the patterns of converastion among people that know each other and are comfortable around each other.

[Heraclitus]

I think the "pickup artist" strives for picking up women.

More importantly, I doubt she saw it the same way. In fact, I'd be willing to be that she stopped looking at it (or you) as a date as soon as you immediately offered to help her start working out

@Albert Speer: When women mention a problem in casual conversation, they don't actually want you provide reasonable suggestions or offers of help. Sometimes they want you to say "aw you poor thing", other times they are fishing for compliments and sometimes they just need you to not give a **** about their problems.

I know crazy.

[Heraclitus]

Speaking as the father of two daughter I'd like to remind all readers that "no" should still be interpreted as "no."

I agree no is no. Stop means stop.

But several responses like "We should stop" are not a no. The proper response to things like that is to agree and continue ("Yes we should stop") or even agree and take it one step up ("Yes, this is so crazy/I barley know you/We're so bad. I really shouldn't be doing X[do X as you say that last part]).

Also when she says no or stops the escalation in some way, one should do a freeze out. Stop making out and do something completley different. One must not act offended. The proper frame of mind is that one was turned off by the rejection in a sexual sense but that it wasn't a big deal.

LMR (last minute resistance) is usually trivial if one's game is ok and you shouldn't need to study too much material on it.

BTW Nothing is a big deal.

[Kuciwalker]

I can't believe you're actually arguing this point.

[David Floyd]

Yes. If she actually wanted to work out and lose weight, she'd already be doing it. She doesn't need you to show her how to work a treadmill. Odds are she either needs to and is too lazy to do so (good luck dating that fat ass), needs to and can't motivate herself to (great, she'll be emotionally needy, good luck), or she doesn't need to and is insecure and/or vain (you can figure out why this is a bad thing).

Or, more realistically, it was just a convenient response to what you said. Try this next time:

Her: "I'm free after 5ish."
You: "Cool, I'm hitting the gym early, but that should work."
Her: "The gym? I need to start working out and lose some weight."
You: "Haha, that's what they all say - you look great! Anyway, why don't you meet me at X around 6 or so?"

I bet you a million bucks that works better, and I bet that her needing to work out doesn't even come up during the date. Unless you bring it up, but presumably you've already learned why that's a bad idea.

[David Floyd]

Yes, "No" means "No". If a woman says "stop", then you damn well stop.

OTOH, if a woman says "We're not gonna have sex tonight", that very often means that you will be having very consensual sex later.

While no does mean no, "we shouldn't" usually means "I want to".

[aneeshm]

@Albert Speer: When women mention a problem in casual conversation, they don't actually want you provide reasonable suggestions or offers of help. Sometimes they want you to say "aw you poor thing", other times they are fishing for compliments and sometimes they just need you to not give a **** about their problems.

I know crazy.

Not really crazy at all. What you mentioned about "chick crack" in your last post is very relevant here.

C.S. Lewis had this to say about the phenomenon you described:

"The Emancipation of Women. (I am not of course saying that this is a bad thing in itself; I am only considering one effect it has had in fact.) One of the determining factors in social life is that in general (there are numerous individual exceptions) men like men better than women like women. Hence, the freer women become, the fewer exclusively male assemblies there are. Most men, if free, retire frequently into the society of their own sex: women, if free, do this less often. In modern social life the sexes are more continuously mixed than they were in earlier periods. This probably has many good results: but it has one bad result. Among young people, obviously, it reduces the amount of serious argument about the ideas. When a young male bird is in the presence of the young female it must (Nature insists) display its plumage. Any mixed society thus becomes the scene of wit, banter, persiflage, anecdote—of everything in the world rather than prolonged and rigorous discussion on ultimate issues, or of those serious masculine friendships in which such discussion arises. Hence, in our student population, a lowering of the metaphysical energy. The only serious questions now discussed are those which seem to have a “practical” importance (i.e. the psychological and sociological problems), for these satisfy the intense practicality and concreteness of the female. That is, no doubt, her glory and her proper contribution to the common wisdom of the race. But the proper glory of the masculine mind, its disinterested concern with truth for truth’s own sake, with the cosmic and the metaphysical, is being impaired. Thus again, as the previous change cuts us off from the past, this cuts us off from the eternal. We are being further isolated; forced down to the immediate and the quotidian."

–C.S. Lewis, Present Concerns: Essays by C.S. Lewis, “Modern Man and His Categories of Thought” (1946), para. 5, pp. 62-63

You would do well, Albert Speer, to reinterpret this as providing advice. That is, to succeed, become good at banger, wit, persiflage, and things of no real import, but perceived as of great immediate practical importance or urgency. Everything that can be called "chick crack" fits this definition perfectly. It is, in a sense, the lowest form of practical folk sociology.

For instance, your conversation which DF just analysed. You treated her "I need to lose weight" as a matter of some importance. DF would have treated it as nothing more than fodder for "banter, wit, and persiflage", and gotten much better results. Can you start to see how it works?

[Heraclitus]

Not really crazy at all.

The quote you posted is relevant to why it seems crazy to a guy that will try to talk to a woman he is flirting with like talking to a friend. Men today often (due to socialization) don't realize they are doing this.

[Heraclitus]

I can't believe you're actually arguing this point.

A woman is under no obligation to do something she dosen't like. And I'm under no obligation to do something that I don't like.


Make outs are cheap. I don't need to waste time fooling around if it dosen't lead anywhere eventually. I fail to see what is unethical about freeze outs.

[aneeshm]

Make outs are cheap. I don't need to waste time fooling around if it dosen't lead anywhere eventually. I fail to see what is unethical about freeze outs.

I don't even see the point of arguing it, to be honest. Come to think of it, it's doing exactly what the woman said she wants you to do.

[MikeH]

So, I was having dinner with my wife tonight and I quote:

Her: "I went on to Apolyton, to see if KrazyHorse had posted more about what he was doing, and I stumbled on that video on how to get a woman thread."
Me: "Oh god, I nearly sent you that but decided you'd get too annoyed!"
Her: "What a bunch of losers! Why are they such idiots?"

[Asher]

I'd be more worried that your wife digs KrazyHorse.

[MikeH]

She's only human!

[aneeshm]

So, I was having dinner with my wife tonight and I quote:

Her: "I went on to Apolyton, to see if KrazyHorse had posted more about what he was doing, and I stumbled on that video on how to get a woman thread."
Me: "Oh god, I nearly sent you that but decided you'd get too annoyed!"
Her: "What a bunch of losers! Why are they such idiots?"

Calling people names does not absolve you of the responsibility of addressing what they have said.

I can understand a woman saying that as a simple expression of her emotional state, or as a means of expressing her disagreement. These two adjectives are generally the first ones to be trotted out - "loser", "idiot", and finally, when it seems to work, "jerk". Women don't like to face their natures.

When you do it, though, it's just wimpy.

[Asher]

Do you have a girlfriend, aneeshm?