How do people meet people (romantically)?

[Jon Miller]

aww shucks..

JM

[C0ckney]

hey jm, by the sound of it if you play your cards right you might be able to meet someone romantically in this thread

[Pekka]

yeah you can find a good website with dating and stuff, I placed an add myself less than 2 days ago and I already have 3 answers.. That's a lot because it's a big website but I made good add. Well, everyone loves me so .. that's the way it is, I guess.

[MrFun]

for me:

gay nightclubs

local area gay chatrooms

fitness/health center

(in near future) anywhere I plan to do local community volunteer work

Borders or Barnes & Noble (I've surprised myself in having good conversation with someone who was browsing in the same aisle I was browsing in)

[Dis]

not rest stops or truck stops?

just kidding.

and you guys don't believe me when I say I don't want a girlfriend. Do you guys really think I'm that pathetic I can't get a girlfriend? don't answer that. It's a rhetorical question.

The only time I want a girlfriend is when I'm horny. Like last night. I took care of that by doing... you know. And now I have no desire for one. Perhaps later today the hormones will come flooding back, and I'll have to take care of it again.

As for intimacy, it looks good in the movies and all. But it never turns out that way in real life.

and it would be selfish of me to have a girlfriend just for sex. It wouldn't be fair to her.

[C0ckney]

diss, much as i hate to ever be serious on this forum, you seriously need to sort your life out.

[Dis]

no way dude. My life is sorted.

Today I saw this white trash couple yelling at each other. Actually the woman was doing all the yelling. She was really screaming her head off at this guy.

I want no part of that. You could say it's an isolated incident. But I see a lot of women yell at guys. And I don't like to be yelled at. Yes I did join the military and go to boot camp. But they didn't yell that much at me because I didn't screw up that much.

Tell me what is so great about relationships?

[Ben Kenobi]

What's so great about a relationship? It's a chance to give your love to someone, and recieve the same from another person.

If you haven't been loved, or felt loved by another person, I can see why you are skeptical, but if you have, then it's a pretty simple question. You remember the times in which you have loved one another even when you are fighting, since that reminds you what is really important.

I can't live without it Dissident, and I know I've just scratched the surface. I am really looking forward to everything else that is yet to come, even if I have to wait for it.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Dissident
Tell me what is so great about relationships?

That's what I wondered before entering one too.

Now that my ex and I broke up, I strive to be in a relationship again. As BK said, it's pretty simple once you've experienced it.

[Dis]

I've had a girlfriend. It hurt like hell when we broke up. The closest I've ever been to suicide. I have no desire to experience that again.

[Spiffor]

Do as you wish, I'm not here to be a know-it-all, and it may be the best course of action for you.

However, I can't help but feel sad for you. Unless you've been systematically trolling in your whole time on Poly, you seem to be living a very sad sentimental life.

[Mr. Harley]

Diss - your letting yourself get spooked by the bad examples. Count the number of times you see a couple yelling, and then look at the number of times you see a couple holding hands or kissing. Relationships can be good. It's not easy.

You have to be ready to compromise. Compromise consists of

1) communicating. You need to know what the issue is.
2) negotiating. This means you must genuinely be willing to give up some of what you want - that doesn't mean always giving in, but it also mean you can't always have your way
3) follow-through. If you say you are going to do something, or stop doing something, then you have to try, extemely hard.

If you are not ready to do this, you are probably right in that you are not ready for a relationship, and that you are being ethical/moral avoiding one right now. The fact you can realize that fact, though, makes you at least closer to being ready for a relationship then many people.

The other thing you have to be willing to do is DO NOT rush into relationships. Talk, go on a few light dates, do not rush into bed. Let her do most of the talking. You may find out that she want no children ever, and you do someday. Or vice-versa. She may be devout and the member of another religion, and expect you to either convert or as a minimum raise any children/live the lifestyle of that religion. If you don't have that kind of strong religious tendency, avoid that lady. She may expect you to take care of you, and yet still be in charge. I detest those.

One lady wrote that someone looking for the right person should go on several hundred dates a year. What she meant by that, though, was something as simple as talking to somone on a bus, while evaluating them for follow through. She strongly suggested a very hard, consistant set of initial critieria to evaluate someone by, so you could winnow out those who you should never start going out with. Good luck, and I hope

[Dis]

Originally posted by Spiffor
Do as you wish, I'm not here to be a know-it-all, and it may be the best course of action for you.

However, I can't help but feel sad for you. Unless you've been systematically trolling in your whole time on Poly, you seem to be living a very sad sentimental life.

how so?

I haven't been trolling the whole time. on occasion maybe. I admit I am emotionally sensitive. My feelings get hurt easily. It's not easy for me to recover from such things. Maybe in time I will.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Dissident
how so?

Well, you're alone, and you don't seem to enjoy it. Your loneliness affects your self-esteem, as you seem not to feel that you're worth anything to anybody. You're not content with your situation, as you often say that whores are clearly inferior to girlfriends.

A few months ago, you were interested in a girl, but it didn't work out. For the while it lasted, however, you looked like you were having a renaissance, with greater happiness and self esteem. You looked like you had something to strive for.
Now, it's possible that you didn't feel like that at all. Maybe I was just projecting. But the impression was strong, and I think there was much more than projection in any case.

[Alexander's Horse]

Diss should stay single