How do people meet people (romantically)?

[Dis]

It almost amazes me anyone ever meets anyone (except in a bar of course). but even in bars, I don't see that many people pick each other up. Or maybe I'm in the wrong bars. . Usually the bars I go to, people go as a couple. So they aren't there to hook up with someone else. They already met.

I'm not really looking, it's just something I'm curious. And I wonder how my parents met. I guess I could ask my mother. It seems improbably they would have met. One coming from a farm, another in the military stationed thousands of miles from home.

Where do people meet? how do the meet? Is there some secret handshake?

I think a lot of people date because they know friends or relatives who have friends and you meet them that way. that's about the only way I've met women. Aside from high school. I've never met a woman and dated her at a bar or any other public place. They probably think I'm a creep (which isn't far from the truth), and don't trust me. That's why it helps to know someone. So they can put in a good word. I just can't go up to a strange woman I don't know and ask her out.

[Az]

I don't believe in romantic meeting places. Best romantic meeting places are regular life places - work, school, etc.

[KrazyHorse]

I've always met girls through school and work.

[Pekka]

Az is right. KH is right.

In those places, it usually happens that you find some girl and there's something in the air, something very little but that you think you could ask them out or something and it's kind of mutual. It kidn of happens in accident.

[Az]

Great minds think alike.

[Dis]

it always seem weird to me when you hear stories about people meeting on the dance floor and then ****ing that night. I just can't imagine doing that with a complete stranger. err wait a minute, I'd done that many times. But it's better with someone you care about.

It's tough for me to even approach a complete stranger. I prefer to meet someone through a relative or friend. Or through work. Though I don't like to date coworkers. It could complicate things if it ends badly (and they usually do for one person or the other). And if you really screwed up, you could be sued for sexual harrassment.

[Az]

well, lucky you. Never happened to me, I am a ****e dancer.

[Dis]

Originally posted by Az
well, lucky you. Never happened to me, I am a ****e dancer.

err, I was referring to the stranger part. Not meeting someone on a dance floor. I meant I've had sex with many women I don't know (all legally paid for in a regulated environment). But have come to find that it's better with someone you care for.

as for dancing. Let's just say I can't do it. If I drink enough, I'll get out on the dance floor and jump up and down. That's about all I can do. . I don't have a sense of rythym. This comes from years of listening to heavy metal music.

[DanielXY]

Well you can of course meet anywhere, but easiest is at a club second easiest is at a bar.
Ppl. are usually the most relaxed and open for new contacts at those places, for example the music makes them happy
If you are uncomfortable meeting strangers, take the amount of drugs/liquor you need to loosen up, while still being able to hold some conversation... Its important to get in the right mood, if you have it roam the place and look for stand-alones or if there arent any for girl-groups (2. level so to speak, 3. level would be too look for couples who are not couples )...
Smile at every girl you like, while you slowly walk past, if she smiles back start up the convo right away (it hasnt to be anything specialy orignal, just start with something like "Hi, ; Im Mike, how are you?", go from there and dont forget to look in her eyes instead at her boobs...
This way you can meet a lot of new girls rather quickly. Sure some of these contacts will not last for long, not all will want to meet you again, but some will...


I dunno why so many ppl. seem to meet each other at work, most ppl. I meet at work arent relaxed enough to hold some conversation which would lead to a date... The vibe just isnt right...
A friend of mine told me he had meet his new girl at work... but that isnt quite right. He knew her from work, but he meet her for real at a park. Work just gave him an excuse for starting the convo ("Oh I know you, you are that girl from work right...").
I suspect a lot of those work-meetups go this way (know from work, meet random at some more relaxed place).

[KrazyHorse]

Originally posted by Az
well, lucky you. Never happened to me, I am a ****e dancer.

So am I, until I get 7 or 8 drinks in me. Then I'm a fantastic dancer. Or at least I think I am.

And that's pretty much all it takes.

[Lancer]

I've had sex with lots of women I've never met.

[Wernazuma III]

Re: How do people meet people (romantically)?

Originally posted by Dissident
It almost amazes me anyone ever meets anyone (except in a bar of course). but even in bars, I don't see that many people pick each other up. Or maybe I'm in the wrong bars. . Usually the bars I go to, people go as a couple. So they aren't there to hook up with someone else. They already met.

Picking up girls in bars is generally a bad idea for those who feel uncomfortable talking to strangers, it's for the small talk guys. And those would rather go to a dancing place or something. If you go to a beer-bar or a dinner restaurant, don't expect a girl will jump on you.
I figured that for the more shy type, parties of friends are best: You might get to know a nice girl, talk to her, not let anything happen, just show interest and sympathy. When next time meeting her, ask her to go for a coffee and if that is a pleasant experience, tell that explicitly and ask to meet again.

[Zoid]

Diss, I´m as baffled by this as you are. It could have something to do with me being totally useless in decoding "the signals". Or as a fried of mine said once, "You don´t seem available".

My parents met at a party thrown by a mutual friend. My dad had been at sea for years and therefore missed several summons for military service (which is mandatory in Sweden). So when he got back to Gothenburg early in ´67 the police nicked him and he was placed at the Coast Artillery in Gothenburg. While doing his part for His Majestys Armed Forces he met my mom. The thing is he probably wouldn´t have if he hadn´t been stuck in Gothenburg for a year, since he comes from another part of the country.

The girls I´ve had relationships with I´ve met through politics and student life. Except one who I met through some friends.

[Mr. Harley]

Dr.Z has a good alternative to work/school, parties, or the bar/dance club scene. Join an organization, political or with similiar interests. Besides political groups, you can join church groups (you'd be surprised about some of those nice church girls), environmental, etc. I met my wife through the Society for Creative Anachronisms, which is a "Middle Ages as it should have been" with a USA spin on it. Not great for historical accuracy, but a great place for meeting members of the fairer sex.

Advantages include a guaranteed commonality of interest, which in turn means you have something to talk about. Occasionally you will get the fanatic/zealous types. Very intense, which can even be better in bed, but avoid them if you want a casual relationship. Relationships with them often end, umm, shall we say spectacularly, even spectacularly and publically . With that proviso, and all of advice - enjoy. You'll probably meet her when you are least expecting it.

[Atahualpa]

"I usually meet them at the set"