Marriage

[-Jrabbit]

Originally posted by DanielXY
Marriage prevents you to get easy rid of someone you dont like anymore. Why would you agree to such a contract?

Marriage is essentialy preventing the partners from breaking up too fast. Its a hassle cost money etc.

Such a negative outlook...

Say you're "in love with" a new car that will take 5 years to pay off. when you realize that it might break down or be in an accident, do you decide to ride a bicycle instead?

If you love a person, you will naturally want to commit to him/her. There's a tremendous upside to knowing that person will always be there for you.

Yeah, love might end. Or your partner could be killed in a car wreck. Of course those things are hassles. But that's not the point. Maximizing your life's potential is what it's about.

I spent many years believing marriage to be a waste, when I could seemingly (at least ideally) get all the advantages without the downside of a legal entanglement. Then I got very lucky.

Experience has proven my younger self wrong. Marriage takes maturity and commitment. If you and your partner don't have these things (in addition to the Love Thing), odds are you're not ready for marriage.

But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing...

[DanielXY]

Of course when you meet someone new and you stay together for some time you always hear your girlfriend say "We gonna stay together forever! :X", just to leave you a month later....

You can think well this time all will change, this time all will be perfect. This girl is going to stay with me forever....
How many relationship do ppl. have around per year? How many of them thought this is going to last forever, and it was over bevore the year was gone? How many stayed together 10+ years? 1-2% at most?

What makes you special? Why do you think the most likly statistical outcome (you will break up), doesnt apply to you? Dont be ignorant to reality.


Ok that was a tad bitter. But thats how it works, most relationships are doomed.

[-Jrabbit]

More fear of a negative outcome clouding the judgment.

It's all about the love, Brother Daniel.

My percentage is, um, greater than zero -- one relationship that has lasted through 16 years of marriage and a couple more before that of dating, with no end in sight. Other than that, my "relationship percentage" was pretty normal, I would say.

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince(ss).

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
You're in Vegas.

It has nothing to do ith that. He's just repulsive, so the only women that show any interest in him are the ones who want things.

[Ben Kenobi]

If you love a person, you will naturally want to commit to him/her. There's a tremendous upside to knowing that person will always be there for you.

[Rex Little]

If you're raising kids, getting married is the right thing to do. Kids are better off with both parents, and marriage does increase the odds of keeping the home together. Plus if you do split up, the father has a better chance of keeping contact with the kids if it's a divorce, rather than a cohabitation breakup.

If no kids are involved, avoid marriage like the plague. (I say this to men; I won't presume to give advice to women.) If you feel you must get married, live together first. And not for just a few months--I recommend three years minimum. I've been married twice; in both cases, it was happy to begin with, but within three years I knew it was a bad idea. The first one cost me a lot more to get out of than it would have if we'd stayed single, and I'm still in the second only because of what it would cost to leave. Between marriages I had a girlfriend I lived with; we got engaged but never set a date, and by the time we'd lived together for two years we knew marriage would never work. (Don't ask me why I didn't apply the lesson learned to the next woman I got involved with; we grow too soon old and too late smart.)

Dissident - not all American women are gold-diggers. When she was much younger, my wife was married to a guy who became a multi-millionaire while they were together. When they divorced he was willing to give her a generous settlement, but she refused to take a dime!

[Drake Tungsten]

'You' in English refers to more then the singular second person.

Not in some dialects of English. Let's see how far you get in the American South using 'you' to refer to the plural second person...

[Ted Striker]

After reading this thread I have come to the conclusion that nobody knows what the hell they are talking about.

Myself included.

[Ben Kenobi]

If you feel you must get married, live together first. And not for just a few months--I recommend three years minimum.

I don't think this works as well if you abstain.

Denise told me she'd rather not have an engagement more than 3 months.

My preference would be to wait the standard year, but that's because I'm an old stuck in the mud.

[MRT144]

ben, this gives less time to plan the wedding, and hence a cheaper wedding

[Whaleboy]

Which would be a lot lower than the number of non-marriage relationships that end in breakup. It is incredibly hard to have a relationship that lasts the rest of your life, it is an astounding feat, IMHO. Therefore, that 40% succeed in this is an impressive figure.

Down from ~90% a century ago

Also break that down by demographic, I would imagine very few marriages between young people in the West last into middle age.

[Az]

What's so good that it's down from 90%? I, too, like the way that marriages are based on truly important things, much more than convenience, but still, I'd love to see that percentage hike back, to have people find people that they truly love for the rest of their lives.

[Gibsie]

Originally posted by Dissident
also it is a proven fact you get less blowjobs after you're married.

Okay, you've convinced me. No need to read the rest of the thread.

[Whaleboy]

What's so good that it's down from 90%? I, too, like the way that marriages are based on truly important things, much more than convenience, but still, I'd love to see that percentage hike back, to have people find people that they truly love for the rest of their lives.

More people that are married = less people available for random sex

[Az]

says you.