Marriage

[Ben Kenobi]

You're in Vegas.

Other cities will be different.

[Ben Kenobi]

I'll have to try that sometime.

Give Denise my account & password.

[Tiamat]

Dated off and on for 13 years married for 1 year 4 months. Still trying to decide

[Dis]

Ideally marriage is a great thing. I'd love to be married, but finding that right woman- or any woman for that matter , is proving impossible.

I don't like the marriage laws either. Although they aren't nearly as bad in my state as in California. But I'd still feel more comfortable with a prenuptual agreement.

[Ben Kenobi]

I hope you do find somebody out there for you Diss. I'm sure there's somebody who's not out for your money.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Japher
well put Kirn, that's what my wife tells me too...

How do you ever know what your wife tells you if you never listen to her?

[East Street Trader]

You hear a lot of moans about the financial arrangements which follow a married couple splitting up. But, in fact, it is the situation where two people split up after living together and raising children together without getting married which causes injustice.

You need a set of rules to deal with property issues on separation. The rules in the UK and in the US are perfectly sensible. It is well worth getting the benefit of them.

[Whoha]

60% of US-US marriages end in divorce.

[-Jrabbit]

Originally posted by Dissident
all american women are.

You're wrong, Diss.

[digress]
In fact, there's a lot of generalizing about women in this thread that betrays an inability to treat them as humans, not as some alien species you need for sex.
[/digress]

But community property is -- correctly -- part of the deal. And if you're in love, it won't bother you.
If it's all about protecting what's "yours" fro becoming part of what's "ours" you should get a pre-nup or not get married.

[lightblue]

Originally posted by Dissident


are you a guy? did you not read the part about a women getting half you own, even if she doesn't even work? Not to mention she gets to keep the kids, and if you're lucky, you get to see them on weekends.

Ye I am a guy. It's just the kind of woman you go for. Any woman I'd go out with is almost invariably ambitious and wanting her own career. If you're only hooking up with women that want to live off your cash you're looking in the wrong places.

And to be fair if you're co-habiting you'll have even less of a legal foot to stand on wrt kids if you get spearated. But the whole idea of marriage is that you don't separate... I think a large part of the high divorce stats is people marrying on what approaches a whim, or because they're pressured into it due to unplanned pregnancies and that sort of thing.

[East Street Trader]

The fact that a marriage ends in divorce does not mean that it was a bad thing.

People change over time plus circumstances which suit one may not suit the other. So you can be happy together for years and years but then one or the other starts to get bored or fed up and decides to separate.

OK that involves breaking a promise to stay together through thick and thin but it is still a perfectly sensible thing to do. Especially when your spouse may have evolved into an altogether different person from the one you promised to stick by.

I separated from my wife after 11 years but would certainly not choose to have spent those 11 years in any other way.

Living together as man and wife is by far the most intimate and satisfying relationship for most human beings. It is natural in itself and it is also great for bringing up kids.

Try it.

[Drogue]

Originally posted by Whoha
60% of US-US marriages end in divorce.

Which would be a lot lower than the number of non-marriage relationships that end in breakup. It is incredibly hard to have a relationship that lasts the rest of your life, it is an astounding feat, IMHO. Therefore, that 40% succeed in this is an impressive figure.

I will admit, that the stability of marriage is partly caused by the obstacles in breaking up, and so some marriages stay together because of convenience, not because of continued emotion, so I would question the value of stability brought on because of obligation not desire. The fact that 60% still do end in divorce says two things: that it is hard to keep a relationship together forever, and that it is now easier to get a divorce than it used to be (comparing it to old divorce figures). For childraising and stability it's a bad thing, having a high divorce rate, but I'd rather have that than force people to remain together when they don't want to. Therefore, personally I don't see a problem with a high divorce rate, although I will admit it does destroy the so called sanctity of marriage somewhat, but then again.

[DanielXY]

Marriage prevents you to get easy rid of someone you dont like anymore. Why would you agree to such a contract? As long as you love each other there is no problem with marriage ... but well there isnt any problem being together without marriage.
As soon as the relationship isnt going so well anymore the trouble begins while married vs. it being a lesser problem while being not married.

Marriage is essentialy preventing the partners from breaking up too fast. Its a hassle cost money etc.
If you are the one wanting to break up you wont be happy to be married.
If your partner is the one wanting to break up... he may wont leave you simply cose its not practical, not cose he loves you so much. Instead of breaking up like he would do with normal relationships he is just going to have affairs... There you have your potential for distrust...

Absolut Important for trust in any relationship is that each party can end it at any time without too much practical downsides (well apart from loosing the partner) or hassle. (Unless you want to keep your partner hostage).

[East Street Trader]

Whether it is a hassle to separate or not is not determined by whether you go through a ceremony of marriage or not, Daniel.

It depends on how thoroughly you mix your affairs together.

So two people who rent a furnished flat together, each drive their own car and have no children can decide one day to part and the only task is to give notice to the landlord and to decide who pays the rent until the tenancy comes to an end.

But a couple who buy a house together, share a car, furnish out their house together and have one or more children have a host of practical things to sort out when they separate whether they are married or not.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Married for seven years, and it all seems very easy.