Casual Sex

[rah]

Just follow up any of the questions with, we're experiencing problems on our side of the floor and I wanted to see if it was a universal problem or just local to our area. The tech guy asked me and I didn't want to piss him off since I didn't have any appropriate bribe food.

[kentonio]

You simply have to TRY to talk to her. You never know, like with many women, they will do all the talking any way.

Good advice. It's not hard to find a woman who never shuts the **** up.

[Lorizael]

I'm not sure I made my point well. Like, yes, this woman is taking up some mental energy, but there's clearly an easy solution that just involves me talking to her. And that's the point: simple problem, simple solution, and I am still confounded. Navigating the arena of casual sex is a whole other ballpark and I've still got my training wheels on. **** you, metaphors; I will mix you however I goddamn please.

That said, the stars have aligned and we're both working until close tonight, so I do have the opportunity to stare awkwardly at her as we leave the building, conflate a compliment about her shoes with a comment about the weather in a grammatically nonsensical way, say I said nothing when she asks what, and then sprint to my car while trying not to hyperventilate.

[kentonio]

Does it help that casual sex and relationships are completely different games that share very few of the same rules and behaviours?

[Ben Kenobi]

Ming speaks the truth!

[Lorizael]

Does it help that casual sex and relationships are completely different games that share very few of the same rules and behaviours?

Who said anything about relationships? I'm great at relationships; I've got 8 years of experience in them.

[kentonio]

Who said anything about relationships? I'm great at relationships; I've got 8 years of experience in them.

My point being that a lot of people approach the casual sex thing in the same manner as they would a potential serious relationship and then don't understand why they struggle.

[Bereta_Eder]

Look, guys, this sex thing is way beyond me. It's like a wizard trying to cast a scroll when the spell on the scroll is higher than the level he can cast. Odds are good it's just going to blow up in his face. When I still struggle with saying hi to the roommates I've lived with for a year, all this talk of getting more experiences seems seriously premature.

For example, I have a coworker who's cute and seemingly interesting, but in the ~10 months that we've worked together I'm not sure that I've said a single word to her. The logistics are difficult, because we work in different parts of the office and our schedules don't overlap all that much, all of which are problems that could be overcome for someone who's naturally able to talk to people, but which just make the whole thing seem insurmountable to me when it's added on top of the fact that I don't even know how to talk to people when I'm not being paid to do so.

Well of course, if girls (and there are many different) generally see you as being a weirdo, they'll not want to have anything to do with you.

If however they see you as just awkward, which is what you are, they will still be flattered by the attention.

Case in point, one day I had not slept enough. There's this girl I used to see like every other day. She is, objectively, pretty.
I was a bit deazy from not getting enough sleep so I said hi to her and then I almost bumped into a lampost.

Her hellos have been warmer ever since. not because of my kinetic skills

[Lorizael]

My point being that a lot of people approach the casual sex thing in the same manner as they would a potential serious relationship and then don't understand why they struggle.

Well I'm bad at a whole host of social activities, from ordering food at the drive-thru to not sounding like a condescending ******* when explaining things to people. Struggling at one more social thing is no big surprise to me.

[Ming]

Well I'm bad at a whole host of social activities, from ordering food at the drive-thru to not sounding like a condescending ******* when explaining things to people. Struggling at one more social thing is no big surprise to me.

I can understand the not sounding condescending... but ordering food at the drive-thru... COME ON.

[jessaragen]

depends on the quality of sex I guess

[Bereta_Eder]

Doing just the minimum necessairy (not speaking to people unless I'm getting payed for) is a clear sign of depression.
It's not the end of the world.
That's why that therapist of yours should try and accentuate your positives (you're in college, you're healthy, I don't know, help me out here) and you can tap on that and then tap something else HARR

Well, seriously
Depression is comfy as is whining but what a waste

Condescending in your case as in most people translates to nervous

[Lorizael]

I would not currently describe myself as depressed and I'm not particularly inclined to think along those lines. One of the best things my therapist has done is demonstrate that there's a world of difference between the way I am now and the way I was when I was depressed (lie in bed all day, yell at everyone, give up in the face of any resistance, etc.).

[Bereta_Eder]

Doesn't sound like much of a progress to me and seems she's trying to justify her wage but maybe I'm wrong.

So if you're not depressed, what's bothering you? That you're shy?

[Lorizael]

She doesn't claim to have cured me of my depression. From the very beginning, one of her goals has been to convince me that my behavior now does not resemble the behavior of my teenage years/early 20s that I told her about. I maintain my lifestyle, accomplish my goals, bounce back when things get tough, etc. I am, however, desperately lonely, and have been since the ex and I broke up three years ago.