Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

I've been successful before, but not in a consistent fashion. My first girlfriend followed me home one day and more or less forced me to kiss her. My second girlfriend was literally delivered to me in a box on my 19th birthday. My third girlfriend--the ex I've been speaking about in this thread--is the only one I can be said to have successfully wooed, but the process took months and she was very close to giving up on me by the time I finally took the plunge.

[rah]

I've been successful before, but not in a consistent fashion.

Welcome to the real world. Most regular guys don't consistently win when it comes to women.

If I had one advice to go back and give a younger version of myself it would be, "go for it, they can only say no"
If you ask enough women you only need to be successful 5% of the time to get all the women you'll ever need.

Don't let their saying **** off be a life ending tragedy.

[Lorizael]

That's not what I mean. I mean that the pattern of my successes is not consistent. There's no particular successful behavior for me to emulate, because how I've succeeded in the past has differed widely.

[rah]

Of course different strats work and sometimes don't. But nothing works if you don't try anything. Success comes from trying and continual trying. The method is not always as important.
I'm not saying you're completely normal, just not as far off as you seem to think.

[Lorizael]

That's certainly one interpretation of my dating history...

I've tried dating sites before with no success to speak of. Doesn't mean it won't work in the future, but it requires a great deal of perseverance.

[rah]

Life requires perseverance.

[Lorizael]

I know. That's why I haven't done too well at it so far.

[Bereta_Eder]

That's not what I mean. I mean that the pattern of my successes is not consistent. There's no particular successful behavior for me to emulate, because how I've succeeded in the past has differed widely.

That's just because each girl is different.
Having some sort of confidence always pays off as does really liking the girl (then you don't have to lie about anything ; )

Just got back from holidays and have to say it's a wonderful world out there that sometime it will extinguish like a candle because you'll die. (as everyone).

It's hard, impossible to savour just how amazing life and the world is staying confined to the four walls of an appartment.

[Ben Kenobi]

That being said, my advice to you, Lori, is to do something that would radically change your life. Even if it turns out to be something that you don't like (and isn't good for you) and that you quit or leave, just the experience will will help you by changing your perspective.

Depending on where he's at in his life this might not be possible straight away. If most of his debts will be cleared by Christmas - you should take a trip. Someplace you've never been for next summer. My life is very different now because of one trip I took back in 2005.

[Felch]

Twenty pages of a look-at-me thread. Lori has pwned us all.

[Lorizael]

My therapist keeps telling me that I need to acknowledge my positive qualities. Well, I've got a really big... me-thread.

[Bereta_Eder]

That's what a good therapist does, harvesting from your good qualities (that you do have) and try to overshadow your weak points with them.
Or better yet. "transfuse" from the one end to the other.
OTOH I remember one time my therapist smiled. It's when I said "but that's fine, I don't want to be narcissist about it. Just want to be down to earth".
Yep, that was a smile out of his austrian self determinism.

As an added bonus, kind of like the special facilities in a luxury room, you can read the new kundera book

La fête de l'insignifiance

The feast of the insignificance

[Lorizael]

My new boss thinks I should be more assertive, but I don't have the guts to tell him I don't want to be assertive.

[rah]

Yeah, tell him to **** OFF. That should impress him.

[Lorizael]

Is there a polite way to tell the boss that he's not the office life coach?