Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

My sense of time is uncanny. Set microwave to 3 minutes, 30 seconds. Go back to room and fiddle around for a bit. Walk back to kitchen mere seconds before the microwave goes off. I do this all the time. I'm pretty much a god.

[EPW]

Wow.

[Lorizael]

I think I'm getting a haircut today. Pretty sure my last haircut was about as long ago as my last sexual encounter. Haircuts are confusing and terrifying experiences for me. On the one hand, I really like the physical sensations of a haircut, despite the fact that a total stranger is touching my head. On the other hand, I never have any idea what kind of haircut I want and pretty much just say yes whenever the barber asks me a question, even if that results in contradictory responses.

[Sava]

why not just cut your own hair?

[rah]

Buy a flowbee.

[Sava]

i remember those

fucken A

[Lorizael]

why not just cut your own hair?

Because I'm trying to distance myself from the deranged hobo look.

[Sava]

hint: be good at it

[Lorizael]

Oh, I've got the deranged hobo look down pat.

[Sava]

[Lorizael]

Why are haircut people always Asian? Their broken English + my total ignorance of anything hair = disaster.

[Sava]

asian barber

"just a rittle off the top?"

I"M SOIRRY

[Lorizael]

Done. I think I might be better off cutting it all off and wearing hats.

[rah]

That's why I've been using the same guy for almost 30 years. I sit down, he does his thing and then I leave.
I was lost the one time he was in the hospital and I went to sports clips.

[Lorizael]

I'm just glad Asian barber guy didn't try to engage me in conversation. I hate when they do that. It's not like normal social situations, where I can pretend not to hear or run away or what have you. At a barber, I'm at their mercy. I'm only a slight flick of the hand away from having my eyes stabbed out. So I have to talk back. Oh god I hate that.