Wedding Etiquette

[The Mad Monk]

I guess some of it depends on what type of wedding it is. We managed to keep our wedding sort of small, to the extent that's possible, so we weren't too stressed out. But my wife had allergies the night before, took Claritin for it...and then discovered that she reacts very oddly to Claritin (she hadn't had it before). She was wide awake the whole night, didn't get to sleep until 5 AM or so. She was a total space cadet for the reception; she wound up chasing her young nephew and niece around for most of it. Still, we made it through.

Just a note while reading through: sleeplessness and feeling buzzed is not unusual for a first time hit of Claritin, or most other allergy meds, for that matter. Does she still have that response?

[The Mad Monk]

Last evening, EBF decided to resume our conversation:

I have reconsidered and am amending my statement: unless you explicitly tell me not to, I will talk to you and interact with you. It won't be awkward unless we make it awkward. If you do explicitly tell me, of course I'll respect your wishes.

I was suffering from a migraine at the time and decided to sleep until, apparently, now instead of responding to her. Ugh.

Is her fiance going to be there? This is starting to sound like a soap opera plot, and you might not be the primary target.

[Kidlicious]

Yeah, he's in deep **** anyway.

[pchang]

If that was to me, stop acting like a jerk. You don't know the story. A glimpse: I did. Was repayed with my dad emptying my bank accounts (he is constantly broke, had set up my account when I was a kid and failed to mention he still had access) and him hiding my step mum in my mum's bed when he had parental visit. The list of bad behavior is long. I've tried to fix things, but when he fails to acknowledge he's been acting badly(the money was never repayed for one, and worse things I have no intention of writing here has been done), and even demands I apologize to him for demanding he man up. He's declared he don't want anything to do with me before I apologize.

I'm pretty sure that comment was not meant for you.

[Nikolai]

If so, that's good.

[Ben Kenobi]

Alright. Fine. I wasn't going to comment but this. Well, whatever.

Lori:

1, you obviously still have feelings for this girl. So.

2, wedding would be just an excuse for you to go and see her again, without making it too obvious, etc, etc, etc.

My advice - go to the wedding, dress up in your best and most of all - have a good time, and take the Jay Cutler attitude. Don't give a ****. Just go. Enjoy the party.

[Ban Kenobi]

Do you still have the naked pictures she sent you?

[DirtyMartini]

Just be polite and try not to ruin your friend's wedding.

This. This. This.

Been there. Handled it poorly. Friend's wedding. Ex in attendance. Drank too much. Got too jealous. Got surly. Made minor scene. Tried to pick fight. Embarrassed self thoroughly.

Just be careful. It's your friend's day, not yours. Weddings, booze and sexual tension are a dangerous mix.

[Elok]

Just a note while reading through: sleeplessness and feeling buzzed is not unusual for a first time hit of Claritin, or most other allergy meds, for that matter. Does she still have that response?

Don't think she ever tried it again. First time was bad enough, I gather.

[Lorizael]

More conversation...

Me: why the change.

EBF: Even though it was what I had expected, I got sad after you said to not interact with you. I *want* to interact with you. [High school gf] suggested that I could still be respectful of you but also increase the chances of interaction if I didn't set you up to passively say you didn't want to

Me: Why do you want to interact with me? We haven't talked in a year. We haven't been friends in 5.5 years. And you, at least, are a very different person than you were when we were friends.

...

No response so far. I'm totally going to **** things up, aren't I?

[self biased]

Embarrassed self thoroughly.

I'll say.

[Hauldren Collider]

Just ignore her dude.

[Lorizael]

She seems determined to actually engage me during the wedding. To the extent that she's sought advice from our mutual friend, the ****ing bride, on how to get me to talk to her. Ignoring her might be more disruptive than not doing so.

[self biased]

More conversation...

Me: why the change.

EBF: Even though it was what I had expected, I got sad after you said to not interact with you. I *want* to interact with you. [High school gf] suggested that I could still be respectful of you but also increase the chances of interaction if I didn't set you up to passively say you didn't want to

Me: Why do you want to interact with me? We haven't talked in a year. We haven't been friends in 5.5 years. And you, at least, are a very different person than you were when we were friends.

...

No response so far. I'm totally going to **** things up, aren't I?

Lorizael: i'm getting the impression that she's trying to manipulate you. the best way to deal with someone trying to create a power struggle is to not engage them in one.

[Colon™]

Ugggh stop making it so complicated. There's no way you'll ever know for sure what her motivations are. The simple thing to do is to start from what you want, which you haven't really told us so far. If you're still angry with her and don't have a desire to talk, then don't talk. The wise and mature thing to do is to say hi and to have a short meaningless chat, but I'm guessing it's a little late to start putting up a front now. I also don't have the feeling you're good at such things either.