Wedding Etiquette

[Elok]

I guess some of it depends on what type of wedding it is. We managed to keep our wedding sort of small, to the extent that's possible, so we weren't too stressed out. But my wife had allergies the night before, took Claritin for it...and then discovered that she reacts very oddly to Claritin (she hadn't had it before). She was wide awake the whole night, didn't get to sleep until 5 AM or so. She was a total space cadet for the reception; she wound up chasing her young nephew and niece around for most of it. Still, we made it through.

I've been to other weddings that passed pretty smoothly; I wouldn't call them a great time exactly, but they were tastefully done, so the food was good, there was no painfully tacky crap, and since they were for people at our church I knew a lot of the other guests and it wasn't awkward. The really horrible weddings are the ones with DJs trying to get everybody to do the damn chicken dance. Or the ones where the couple get put through their paces like show ponies: "Ooh, now we make a big deal about their first dance! Everybody ding your glasses so they have to stop what they're doing and kiss every two minutes! Don't forget the dollar dance, it's totally traditional to whore the bride's favors out on her wedding day now." :wiglaf:

[Lorizael]

I don't really have a good feel for what kind of wedding this is going to be, except that it won't exactly be traditional. There are two brides, after all, and what we've been told is that "the night will look a lot more like a cocktail party than a traditional wedding, so expect lots of standing/drinking/mingling/dancing."

I'm also supposed to be "all gussied up and looking as painfully dapper as possible (whatever that means to you)." I have no idea what that means to me.

[Aeson]

A platonic-share-naked-pictures-of-yourself sense ...

[Dinner]

She's indirectly responsible for breaking up my first two relationships (including the relationship with the person who's getting married on Wednesday).

I'm sensing she wanted a bit more of your attention for herself. Thus the attempts to get the other young ladies out of the picture.

Breaking up relationships is bad but hardly life ruining.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

A platonic-share-naked-pictures-of-yourself sense ...

That's the best kind of platonic relationship.

[Dinner]

Well you've probably already blown it by saying

and


Both those statements give her power over you.

The best responses would have been.

It's been awhile and I if we get a chance to catch up, that would be nice.

and

I'll be looking forward to it.

Just man up and enjoy yourself and don't let her have ANY INFLUENCE over the situation. If you have to interact with her, make it seem like it's normal and no big thing. Smile, say hi, do a touch of meaningless banter and then MOVE ON.

Which would have been the mature way to handle it.

[Dinner]

Um... so, Lori... you fell in love with this woman while dating someone else, and then she started sending you naked pictures when you were dating a second someone else, and you never told her to stop... so... did you ever get together with this woman? Because it seems like you fell in love with her and she started throwing herself at you and you never went after her... in which case, you should have been trying to avoid her due to shame rather then her asking if it'd be best to be avoiding you because of... I dunno.

This.

[Elok]

I don't really have a good feel for what kind of wedding this is going to be, except that it won't exactly be traditional. There are two brides, after all, and what we've been told is that "the night will look a lot more like a cocktail party than a traditional wedding, so expect lots of standing/drinking/mingling/dancing."

I'm also supposed to be "all gussied up and looking as painfully dapper as possible (whatever that means to you)." I have no idea what that means to me.

That sounds pretty excruciating to me, honestly, and IIUC I'm better at gabby social stuff than you are. The crazy woman might end up being a welcome distraction. Suggest you find a group of the nerdiest SOBs available and clump in one corner discussing blueshift or Star Trek or what-have-you until the horror goes away.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

I think it's a little unreasonable to expect us to provide informed advice without more background detail. Especially the photos. I really can't over-emphasise that point.

[Colonâ„¢]

So, Apolyton, how should I behave at my friend's wedding? Should I shun the EBF, ignore her completely, try to be friendly, try to hook up with her after the reception, not go to the wedding at all, not be a helpless dickwad, show up roaring drunk wearing nothing from the waist down...?

And remember, I'm a dysfunctional ****head lacking any will of my own, so I will do whatever Apolyton thinks is best for me.

You should bang one of her friends in a backroom, or atleast a waitress.

[Lorizael]

I'm at work. I don't have the photos.

[Lorizael]

Also I'm not a terrible person.

[Lorizael]

Well, I am, but not that kind of terrible.

[rah]

I think you might be doing her a favor by posting them. You claim she only sent them to you to get your opinion. Think of all the opinions you could get here. You would then have something to talk to her about at the wedding. Just think of all the fun that would be.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

I give great opinion. Really constructive feedback.