When can I call myself a Southerner?

[Imran Siddiqui]

I don't doubt that some rural towns up North are misogynist. I am simply saying the South, as a geographical whole has a longer way to go than the North to having women be equal.

The whole emphasis on chivalry must be destroyed piece by piece. The chivalric emphasis IS what is different about the South. The rest of the nation really does not have it, and that is one of the main problems with Women's issues in the South, to break through that outdated notion.

The North, while more progressive does have great problems. The race issue is horrendus. People choose to seperate from each other in cliques, it seems, than in the South.

[Apocalypse]

On the issue of food, how can anyone in their right mind say that Northern food is better? We know how to use spices, its just that you weaklings can seem to handle much of them.

Now on for drinks, South is far better in this area. When you go to a resturant in the South, the refills will almost always be free. On my "vacations" up North, nearly every resturant wants money each time I get my glass filled. This is an injustice. They give you a drink first, with nothing really to do and it isn't hard to have already comsume most of it before the food gets there. Even with the small servings of food in the North (further ripping people off), I finish my drink long before I'm done eating. Now, how am I going to remove the horrible Northern food taste from my mouth? Buy a drink I would have gotten free in the South. What a shame.

On Chivalry. How is 'sleeping around' all that good? I'm not saying to be perfectly chaste (few in the South are), but it is best not to sleep with people unless they are really good looking or you care about them to a good extent. So many things can go wrong.

About people who were elected, the Southerns we disowned such as Gore and Clinton are loved up there. We still have many good civil rights guys like LBJ.

[JohnT]

You know, there is this diner on Boston Post Rd (or is it Connecticut Ave?) in Norwalk, CT that had just huge, delicious freakin' meals at relatively high prices. I didn't say the food was cheap, just good. Pizza was better up north, not to mention all the "ethnic" cuisines - Chinese, Greek, and Italian just to mention a few. My God, you'd just go to this nasty hole in the wall that'd you would never find in the bright, sterile suburbs of Atlanta and get the best freakin' chili dog you've ever eaten. The only food that routinely sucks in the north is Mexican... but I haven't been up there in 4 years so things could've changed.

Oh, and Friendly's restaurants. Those suck too.

[Imran Siddiqui]

On my "vacations" up North, nearly every resturant wants money each time I get my glass filled.

Which restaurants have you been to?

On Chivalry. How is 'sleeping around' all that good? I'm not saying to be perfectly chaste (few in the South are), but it is best not to sleep with people unless they are really good looking or you care about them to a good extent. So many things can go wrong.

If men can 'sleep around' why can't women? Why can't they take control of their sexual freedoms? If they use protection, who cares?

Chivalry is basically (even if it isn't obvious on the face of it) something that keeps women down. Think about it. Chivalry is doing things for women that you wouldn't normally do for a man. I hold doors open for both genders. I carry bags for both genders. Why do we need a system where one gender must do things for the other gender?

Sometimes I ask my girlfriend to carry a bag or something, and she usually refuses. Why? Because she can do it herself. The idea of chivalry basically tells women they CAN'T do it themselves and need a man to help them (Same argument with Affirmative Action Quotas and blacks, basically). It is a system that promotes the idea that a woman needs man to do many things (maybe not intentionally, but it is there).

Another anecdote. One of my g/f's friends is from South Carolina, and she came up to Rutgers. She said she went to college to get her 'M.R.S.' (ie, find a husband). Apparently she has met a few others that also think this way, but they all come from the south. THIS is the byproduct of chivalry. The sooner it is gotten rid of, the better.

And yes, John is right, ethnic food is better in the North. Can't find a damn good pizza place anywhere down there .

[DinoDoc]

From what I understand of what Imran is saying, women should be offended if I hold the door open for them, etc. Is that what you are saying?

Sorry, the South is known for keeping the glass ceiling lower on womyn.

The former mayor of my city might disagree with you. Since we are still talking about anecdotal evidence.

[Imran Siddiqui]

From what I understand of what Imran is saying, women should be offended if I hold the door open for them, etc. Is that what you are saying?

If they only open the door for women and not for men, then yes. And some actually are (well at least up here in the NorthEast). If you are opening a door simply because there is a woman coming, then it is a bit, well, condescending.

[DinoDoc]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
And some actually are (well at least up here in the NorthEast).

Would they prefer it if I slammed the door in thier face?

Re MRS degrees: You're going to have to do better to prove that it is a result of Southern Culture. Unless of course, you are willing to tell me that women from the North never engage in such behavior.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Would they prefer it if I slammed the door in thier face?

They would prefer it if you just let the door go then .

Re MRS degrees: You're going to have to do better to prove that it is a result of Southern Culture. Unless of course, you are willing to tell me that women from the North never engage in such behavior

There might be, but all the hundreds of Northern women I've met, I've never heard one saying they want their MRS. It might happen up here, but at a MUCH less clip than in the South. If it happens in the NE, it is much to rare to be significant.

Fact is, if I was a woman (no jokes ) I'd NEVER apply to Law School to the South of Virginia. Yes, Atlanta, Miami, Knoxville are fairly progressive, but it just doesn't have a good reputation for treating women fairly. Just like I was advised not to go to Washington & Lee for undergrad because of the color of my skin, some areas aren't considered good places for some people.

[Apocalypse]

Which restaurants have you been to?

I've been to places that are in both the north and south from McDonalds and Applebees. The northern counterparts almost always require you to pay for the refills and the portions are usually smaller up north.

If men can 'sleep around' why can't women? Why can't they take control of their sexual freedoms? If they use protection, who cares?

Men shouldn't sleep around either. Not every guy in the South is out to get some from just any woman. They can take control of their sexual freedoms. It just isn't a good idea to have that much sex with that many people. Protection doesn't always work either. The idea of low-risk sex led to what only can be described as the third worst day of my life.

If you are opening a door simply because there is a woman coming, then it is a bit, well, condescending.

We hold the door open because it is grouped in with paying for dinners and all that. Women typically make less money, why should they then have to spend more?

[Imran Siddiqui]

I've been to places that are in both the north and south from McDonalds and Applebees. The northern counterparts almost always require you to pay for the refills and the portions are usually smaller up north.

Then you haven't been to too many. I agree in part, that on a whole, Northern food places have smaller portions. I also agree that there are more places that don't have free refills. However, with the refills, I'd say it is fifty-fifty, depending on where you go. I mean, ANY Applebees I've been to soda has always been free refills.

Men shouldn't sleep around either. Not every guy in the South is out to get some from just any woman. They can take control of their sexual freedoms. It just isn't a good idea to have that much sex with that many people. Protection doesn't always work either.

Maybe you believe they shouldn't. But who are you to tell them that they can't do what they want. By sleeping around, I mean they are having casual sex, not that they are cheating, btw (if that caused any confusion). If they want to have casual sex, while they aren't dating anyone, I don't see how that hurts people.

However, you have to admit there is a double standard between a man and a woman if they have a lot of sex.

We hold the door open because it is grouped in with paying for dinners and all that. Women typically make less money, why should they then have to spend more?

Are you trying to make my point .

Holding doors open is part of paying for dinners? Where did that idea ever come from? And some women do not make less than the man they are seeing, so do you still have to hold the door and pay for dinner? Chivalry says you do.

Anecdote alert: Me and my g/f always share the cost of dinner, hold doors open for each other (which means she sometimes holds the door open for me as well). I've treated her to dinner at times (birthday, etc), but she's done the same for me. I don't think it is the man's duty to pay for dinner and hold the door open for a woman. That is just behind the times these days (IMO).

[SlowwHand]

"Just like I was advised not to go to Washington & Lee for undergrad because of the color of my skin, some areas aren't considered good places for some people."


I know just what you mean. I was uncomfortable the whole time I stayed with friends in the Watts section of L.A..

[Imran Siddiqui]

Oh yeah... I can imagine. Stay away from parts of NY too!!

Like I said parts of North (and Cali) are more rascist than any other part of the country... and usually it ends up being reverse rascism (guess where Al Sharpton came from ).

[SlowwHand]

Oh you brought up a name I detest.

[Apocalypse]

Then you haven't been to too many.

Its not just those two places. Others include those A&W Root Beer places and Planet Hollywood. And another thing, the words soda and pop. Extremely annoying words. Soft drink and cola sound so much nicer.

I agree in part, that on a whole, Northern food places have smaller portions. I also agree that there are more places that don't have free refills.

You're getting ripped off.

But who are you to tell them that they can't do what they want. By sleeping around, I mean they are having casual sex, not that they are cheating, btw (if that caused any confusion). If they want to have casual sex, while they aren't dating anyone, I don't see how that hurts people.

It can hurt themselves, and I was even talking about if it is between a boyfriend and girlfriend if its on the first or second date. Its just like telling people not to put salt in their eye. We don't use any force to keep them from doing it, but we look down upon those who do.

Holding doors open is part of paying for dinners? Where did that idea ever come from? And some women do not make less than the man they are seeing, so do you still have to hold the door and pay for dinner? Chivalry says you do.

If the woman makes more then it is even more important to hold the door open, because there is probably someone richer who would. Southern girls like guys who are nice to them. They aren't superficial. This is how I got in a very close relationship.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Oh you brought up a name I detest.

Same here .

Its not just those two places. Others include those A&W Root Beer places and Planet Hollywood. And another thing, the words soda and pop. Extremely annoying words. Soft drink and cola sound so much nicer.

Yes, I know it wasn't those two places, but I'm saying that it is 50-50 for free refills up here.

You're getting ripped off.

We get ripped off (compared to the South) everywhere up here . You just have to pick where to get ripped off less. And, like said, ethnic food (except Mexican) is much better up here.

It can hurt themselves, and I was even talking about if it is between a boyfriend and girlfriend if its on the first or second date. Its just like telling people not to put salt in their eye. We don't use any force to keep them from doing it, but we look down upon those who do.

We shouldn't!! If they hurt themselves, so what? It is a part of growing up. Just because a b/f and g/f have sex on the first date doesn't mean they are horrible people. It doesn't mean they've done anything wrong!! (are you getting that this has happened to me ). How can we dictate to them that they shouldn't have casual sex 'to protect them from getting hurt'. I don't think we should. Why? Because I don't think that it will hurt them to have sex before marriage.

If the woman makes more then it is even more important to hold the door open, because there is probably someone richer who would. Southern girls like guys who are nice to them. They aren't superficial. This is how I got in a very close relationship.

Tell you are joking? You just described superficiality and said they aren't superficial . If you don't like a guy because he didn't hold the door open, you are being very, very superficial. Being nice is a totally different thing entirely.

And if the woman makes more it is more important to hold the door because there is someone richer that would?! God, you have some really ****ed up views. Are you saying that Southern women go for the richer guys who hold doors open?