it's the revival of the corrupt wish game (II)

[Mr. Harley]

End thread jack.

We all understand just how cool it is. In fact, it starts a new trend, and all the artists make absolutely certain we can hear those pages turn. They even put a special microphone there. The resulting excesses result in a resurgence in bad heavy metal, blue grass, and electronic new age music. Piano playing becomes a dying art.

I wish I could get my beard color to match my hair color, without the latter being almost solid grey.

[Shadowstrike]

You can. Just that the solid block of concrete that was the closest color approximation to your hair has solidified in your beard, making it impossible to lift your head.

I wish for a First Edition Black Lotus.

[Shogun Gunner]

You are awarded the First ever Lotus flower....colored black.

I wish everyone's head took the form of smilies. I would be

[OzzyKP]

Everyone's head gets to be a smiley. But they are all this one:

I wish I had remembered I had to post a wish in addition to just answering one before I posted here.

[Mr. Harley]

But you did remember. So now you didn't make the wish. So you did forget to make a wish, so you wish you remembered. But you did remember... . God gets bored by the recursive loop. The world ends.

I wish I hadn't tried to install the newest Direct-X on my Windows 98SE machine.

[self biased]

you didn't, but your computer mysteriously stops working for no reason now.

also, i'd like to corrupt shadowstrike's wish too:

congratulations. you're now the proud owner of the Redmption card game's black lotus card from the first edition (ninny. it's alpha you're thinking of).

i wish we didn't keep forgetting about this thread.

[POTUS]

you didn't forget about the thread, but it is filled with so much spam that you wish you had.

I wish I had a new computer.

[Ben Kenobi]

they show a marathon of Captain Janeway being indecisive for a week, your ice cream is avacado flavored, and your week to yourself is the last hundred and forty-eight hours you ever have by yourself.

Not a bad thing, if my bed is filled, eh?

Dude, you're gettin' a dell!

[self biased]

i was drunk at the time. your week to yourself was supposed to be your last. but you can have asher if you like.

[Ben Kenobi]

Forgot to make a wish...

I wish that asher swung back on his pendulum and developed a crush on Kim Basinger.

[Enigma_Nova]

The wish is granted; Asher is now inseparably bound to Kim Basinger.
I force you to swap bodies with Kim Basinger. You are now stuck with asher.

I wish for lots of SPAM.

[Mr. Harley]

A malicious friend enters you in the Monty Python memorial SPAM contest. You win. You have a lifetime supply of SPAM. SPAM with toast for breakfast, SPAM on rye for lunch, SPAM fritters for dinner, you go SPAM crazy. They drag you away covered in that gelatinious goo muttering SPAM, SPAM, SPAAAMMMM.

I wish all Spammers were fed SPAM until they bloated up and went mad.

[Mercator]

They are indeed fed with spam.

Unfortunately, your next-door neighbour turns out to be one of the biggest spammers. Your driveway is constantly blocked by incoming trucks delivering spam. Anything that doesn't fit in his house is dropped off at your place instead. Furthermore, people quickly realise it must be the place of a spammer. But thanks to the excess spam, they suspect you as well, and you also get tons of unsolicited mail and other unpleasantries to cope with. You go equally mad.

I wish my depression would disappear.

[OzzyKP]

Your depression disappears and instead is replaced with flamboyant cheerfulness. You decide to go into the business of aerobics videos, grow your hair out curly and start sporting very short shorts. You are now universally mocked and scorned, as you've become Richard Simmons.

I wish I got a good night's sleep last night.

[Ben Kenobi]

I wish I got a good night's sleep last night.

You did. And you stay sleeping. 50 years later, you wake up, a la Rip van Winkle. You become the feature attraction in a museum.

I wish my girlfriend would get accepted into the teaching program at UBC.