"Kansas has found the ultimate way to punish the poor"

[Ben Kenobi]

I'm not discounting yours really, just saying that yours are experiences of dating, and the experience of actually living with a woman is very different. It strips a lot of the romantic glamour from the whole thing, and its really the only way to find out if you're really meant to be with someone. If you can go through all the **** that comes with actually spending all your time with someone and STILL think they're amazing, then you're you know you've found the right one.

I've had a few women like that in my life.

That's why I can never agree with the whole 'living in sin' message of the catholic church. That person who seems like the perfect love doesn't always seem like that after the initial love buzz has worn off, and you get to know what they're really like day on day.

I can understand this position. But really, the position of the Church isn't to insulate you from these things, but to put them in marriage. You aren't supposed to date forever - dating is seen as a process of discernment such that when you actually do meet the one that you'll propose to them and then get married. And then get to experience all of these things together.

The Church wants couples to grow in love together - it doesn't assume that you're going to get the perfect storybook from the beginning - this is why they want these things in marriage, because the Church believes that marriage helps you grow together.

Some people are lucky enough to find that person the first time, but for most people its a trial and error process. If I'd been locked into the first serious relationship I had, then my life would be a lot worst than it is today, and so would hers. The fact we can fall in love with more than just a single person should provide enough evidence that marrying someone just because you fall in love with them is a foolish endeavour.

Sure, that's what discernment is all about. You'll make mistakes certainly, but that's part of life. Catholics won't usually marry someone they've known for a short while - it's a serious discernment process. And I think you can discover a lot about a person if you talk with them. I'm not talking about the usual chitchat, but really, actually talk.

[kentonio]

I do understand what you're saying, but in all honesty you can talk to someone for days, and weeks and months and still not really know them until you've actually lived your life intertwined with theirs for months or years. Sometimes it's much kinder for all involved to part ways than to feel like you just have to make things work despite neither of you really wanting to be together any more. People are endlessly complicated, and you simply can't fully understand another person until you've lived their life for a significant period of time. I wish it was otherwise, but it really isnt.

[Ben Kenobi]

I do understand what you're saying, but in all honesty you can talk to someone for days, and weeks and months and still not really know them until you've actually lived your life intertwined with theirs for months or years. Sometimes it's much kinder for all involved to part ways than to feel like you just have to make things work despite neither of you really wanting to be together any more. People are endlessly complicated, and you simply can't fully understand another person until you've lived their life for a significant period of time. I wish it was otherwise, but it really isnt.

I think you can be married 50 years and still be surprised by the other person. I know I sure have in some of the folks I've known a long time. I recall a story from my grandmother when I told her a story grandpa told me. She'd never heard the story. They were nearing 50 by then. Surprised me, but then he doesn't talk all that much and certainly not about these sorts of things with her.

[Sava]

just a pro-tip regarding your previous "relationship"

if you weren't intimate before moving away, she was just a pen pal

[rah]

I've always thought it was a touch hypocritical of the church to frown upon living together but them highly recommending going through their premarital camp that you honestly wouldn't need if you had lived together.

[Sava]

I've always thought it was a touch hypocritical of the church to frown upon living together but them highly recommending going through their premarital camp that you honestly wouldn't need if you had lived together.

Yup. It is a stupid way to live and goes against everything that God intended... if indeed our bodies were designed.

[Kidlicious]

Yup. It is a stupid way to live and goes against everything that God intended... if indeed our bodies were designed.

It actually makes more sense than moving in with someone so that they won't move to Denver.

[Sava]

Hahaha did you go through one of those?

Pathetic

[Sava]

BTW, I've never been happier before in my life

[Kidlicious]

Hahaha did you go through one of those?

Pathetic

Is she preggo?

[Sava]

I hope not. Abortions ain't cheap

[Sava]

Though, I wouldn't know

[Sava]

If she is and we do, I will mail you the medical waste... If you want

[Sava]

If, long term, the cost of the occasional abortion is less than birth control, I'd just assume get a few coat hangers wet

[Sava]

So to speak