Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

drugsll be ready at 1700 hours manana. put a squiggly over one of those ns. i wasn't entirely drugless. i'm on three different drugs, and two out of the three weren't available for whatever reason. 1/3 ain't bad. and it was the third that, if i stop taking it, i get the brain zaps. anyway, i just ran out of that stuff, too. and ordered a refill online. which ill pick up tomorrow. and then i'll ask them about the other drugs too. apostrophes. commas. capital letters. etc.

el psychiatristo says i wouldn't need to be on so many drugs if i, like, exercised regularly or some ****. i also wouldnt' need to be on so many drugs if i, like, had any capacity at all to survive like a normal human being. i am basically a cripple. i really don't know how to get over that.

like. yeah. i wear glasses. because i have **** vision. and i don't feel any shame in the fact that my vision is **** and i have to do something to correct it. but that's because my self-image (ha) isn't tied up in my ability to see. my eyes are just some body parts i have. but my brain is not just some part of me. my brain is me. if my brain doesn't work right, then i don't work right. exactly how is that not supposed to negatively affect my self-esteem.

just got an email saying my library books are overdue. oh god. my library books are overdue. and i have to cash my check from the bursar's office. and i have to close out my bb&t bank account. and i have to respond to my roommate's email about bills. and work stuff. and school stuff. and all the stuff. oh god.

[Ben Kenobi]

I'm on meds too. Celexa. If I don't take it I get full on depressed. Instead of just lovably crazy Kenobi.

There's nothing shameful about needing meds, Lori. Just **** you have to do in order to function. **** ****.

[Lorizael]

It's times like this I wish had vices worse than Mountain Dew and ice cream. I mean really, I can't even do spiraling into the black oblivion of depression correctly. Look at Damar from DS9. Yeah, he hates taking orders from Weyoun, and you can hear the disdain in his voice, but the way you really know how low the character is sinking is that in every scene for the last season or so, he's pouring himself another glass of kanar. The dude is a serious alcoholic. He's leading the war against the Federation, and he's drunk as a skunk while doing so. It's pretty impressive.

[Lorizael]

Season 7 gives us Ezri Dax, DS9's counselor, and she's a pretty frustrating character. She wears the blue of science, which is good, because it tells us that mental health in the 24th century is treated as a science, at least by Starfleet. But then there's the fact that she's a pretty ****ty therapist, even by today's standards. It seems like a real missed opportunity to show us mental health in the 24th century but not have it be different from and/or better than 21st century mental healthcare. I mean, Nog loses his goddamn leg in the Siege of AR-558, and he's really ****ing depressed about it, but Vic Fontaine the 1960s-era lounge singer hologram does a better job of treating Nog's depression than the goddamn professional Starfleet counselor does.

[Elok]

It's times like this I wish had vices worse than Mountain Dew and ice cream. I mean really, I can't even do spiraling into the black oblivion of depression correctly.

Another way of looking at it is that you're self-medicating--with fat-and-sugar pills.

[Garth Vader]

Season 7 gives us Ezri Dax, DS9's counselor, and she's a pretty frustrating character. She wears the blue of science, which is good, because it tells us that mental health in the 24th century is treated as a science, at least by Starfleet. But then there's the fact that she's a pretty ****ty therapist, even by today's standards. It seems like a real missed opportunity to show us mental health in the 24th century but not have it be different from and/or better than 21st century mental healthcare. I mean, Nog loses his goddamn leg in the Siege of AR-558, and he's really ****ing depressed about it, but Vic Fontaine the 1960s-era lounge singer hologram does a better job of treating Nog's depression than the goddamn professional Starfleet counselor does.

I almost forgot how unwatchable some of those episodes were.

[Lorizael]

Another way of looking at it is that you're self-medicating--with fat-and-sugar pills.

Yeah! Who says sugar pills are a placebo?

[Elok]

Er, my intended point is that you're still medicating yourself, just with inferior medicine that's bad for your health, so you might as well just take the blasted drugs without shame. Their only problem is making it harder to climax--but that just gives you more time to admire the naked, sweat-glistening, porcelain-skin torso of Emma Stone bouncing over you. And you feel better after, too!

[Lorizael]

Yeah, I picked up my drugs after work. I will indeed take them.

There's not a direct link between me feeling shame over my depression and me deciding not to take my medicine, though. It's more that when things get overwhelming for whatever reason, I'm less likely to make good decisions, and one of the good decisions I need to make is to refill my prescriptions. I feel a great sense of relief whenever I do manage to successfully acquire my drugs. The shame is more of a background thing, one of those automatic thoughts that pops up when I need a reason to feel ****ty.

[Elok]

Yeah, it's complicated, I know. Glad I beat mine a while back; hopefully, you'll get there too someday. In the meantime, thank goodness you're on the meds now. Because, I gotta say, the way you were carrying on, Emma Stone was just not in the cards. You'd be lucky to get Emma Watson, with that kind of attitude. And I don't think you want that; she's much less hot, and you just know she's high-maintenance. Like, you'll have just finished, you're still inside her, and she's already nagging you about getting a better job. And it won't even be good sex. You'll spend the whole thing wondering if maybe, just maybe, you're getting sloppy seconds off Rupert Grint. You close your eyes, but all you see is that ginger bastard spanking her arse with an Authentic Replica Wand, screaming "A HUNDRED POINTS TO GRYFFINDOHH-OHOHOHHHH-OHOOOOOHHHHOHHHNGH!"'

But that's not going to happen now, right? Because you're on the meds again. Kudos to you, Lori!

[ricketyclik]

maybe you could use a good identity crisis.

You're right Brad. And I won't talk about it.

[Lorizael]

There's a scene in Gilmore Girls where Rory informs her mother that the plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac. Lorelai proceeds to tease her daughter throughout the rest of the episode, purposefully mis-pluralizing multi-word nouns. It's a funny bit. I only know this because ex made me watch Gilmore Girls. During the course of our relationship, this became a bit between the two of us as well. The upshot? I cannot pluralize a multi-word noun without thinking of my ex. I mean, wtf. I understand that odd little things are going to remind me of her from time to time and that's unavoidable. But seriously, thinking about more than one object means I'm thinking about my ex. That's just ridiculous. Have they invented that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind thing yet? (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind makes me think of my first ex. Jesus Christ.)

[ricketyclik]

I just watched ESotSM for the first time the other day. Surely the moral was that you're better off remembering?

[Lorizael]

Pretty sure the moral is that you shouldn't date rash, overly emotional people who will erase their memories of you when you get into a bad argument.

[Dr Strangelove]

B5 fans and DS9 fans are mortal enemies. If I watch both, I'll have an identity crisis.

Part of how I wooed ex was by getting her hooked on BSG. I'll just be thinking about her.

(I have an excuse for everything.)

I love both. I recently finished re-watching DS 9 on Nefflix and now I'm re-watching BSG because it's finger frackin' good!