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  • Originally posted by Oncle Boris View Post
    You're afflicted with a perverse and debilitating mental illness, fool.
    Love? :break:
    "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
    Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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    • A fairly predictable read. Still, an enjoyable thread for how it distills the social essences of the participants. My take: most here (meaning in this thread) who want but don't have a satisfying LTR don't deserve one, and are unlikely to find one in the foreseeable future.
      Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
      RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

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      • Actually, I completely agree with that. AS is no more likely than I am to find a long term relationship (although for different reasons).
        Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
        Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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        • Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui View Post

          One word: bull****.

          Ok, more words. This "knowledge" seems to be coming from someone who just hasn't actually found a partner yet
          Not the case.

          Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui View Post

          and is still viewing relationships as transactional.
          Also not the case.

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          • Originally posted by Oncle Boris View Post
            FWIW, I have a friend who is inevitably drawn into committed women.

            The question is seldom - almost never - whether or not she'll cheat on her boyfriend, but how many dates it's gonna take.
            12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
            Stadtluft Macht Frei
            Killing it is the new killing it
            Ultima Ratio Regum

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            • Originally posted by Oncle Boris View Post

              The question is seldom - almost never - whether or not she'll cheat on her boyfriend, but how many dates it's gonna take.
              +1

              The last time I did that for a few meets the girl in question was having a polite conversation with me and a friend of her boyfriend (who she later claimed wasn't her boyfriend but that was BS). The guy was trailing us and doing a good job of making it inapropriate to dismiss him outright as I was trying to isolate by moving about the oh so charming secluded cafe in the old city center. She totally jumped me when the guy whent to the bathroom making out like rabid monkey high on crack. The moment we heard him returning she was a sweet innocent angel.


              Ended up in bed later that day
              Last edited by Heraclitus; May 25, 2010, 04:16.
              Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
              The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
              The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila

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              • Originally posted by Albert Speer View Post
                I haven't gotten yet into everything that Aneeshm and Heraclitus were nice enough to send me but I just wanted to mention this...



                The problem is if I use this pickup stuff, how does that really change anything? She said she could tell after a while that I was faking it. How can I look like I'm not faking it when I basically am?
                A few points:

                First, you're being way, way too slow in sexualising the relationship. The "statement of sexual intent" should be clear from the moment you approach someone.

                Secondly, you may find these archives useful.

                Thirdly, the entire point of all that material is to get you through to the end. Here, you seem to be stuck on the "initial" phase, however different literature may refer to it. In order to get what you want, this shouldn't last as long as you say it does, at all. There is a window of time for each and every stage, and though there is, of course, no fixed "schedule", missing that window means that you'll find it next to impossible go continue. The fact that you're not sexualising the interaction early enough is probably why the girl realises that you're faking it.

                Lastly, as you become more aware, this behaviour will become second nature, and you won't have to fake it. These instincts are innate, and it is only our socialisation which makes us afraid of using them. Once that wears off, you'll be more natural than when you started.

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                • yo

                  Ironically, for a long time, the only a way a woman could hope of having some sexual freedom was marriage (you can get pregnant and get away with it).

                  Since the 50s, contraception is widely accessible to women, and the institution of marriage has shattered.

                  Discuss.
                  In Soviet Russia, Fake borises YOU.

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                  • Speer: try to be an a-hole. You'll be surprised at how much **** a woman will take. Act like you don't care, even if you do. Not passive I don't care, active looking passive I don't care.

                    Don't listen to those who tell you not to do that. Taming a woman is an art, you've got to practice the fundamentals before you settle.

                    I'm not so good at it as I wish to be, but better than most guys I know.
                    In Soviet Russia, Fake borises YOU.

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                    • Originally posted by Oncle Boris View Post
                      Ironically, for a long time, the only a way a woman could hope of having some sexual freedom was marriage (you can get pregnant and get away with it).

                      Since the 50s, contraception is widely accessible to women, and the institution of marriage has shattered.

                      Discuss.
                      Certainly, these are more challenging times for the institution of marriage. However, I have plenty of examples of good relationships and good marriages in my family despite the times. Some others may despair because they don't have these examples to fall back on, or may dismiss them because they like to have cheap sex instead of meaningful relationships.
                      Last edited by DanS; May 25, 2010, 11:36.
                      I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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                      • This is just a wild, freakish and outlandish suggestion, but have you considered getting yourself into social situations where you interact with women on easy-going and friendly terms? And then asking the ones who seem particularly pleasant out on, perchance, a date?

                        I realise this method contains no special, secret and ninja series of actions designed to manipulate certain types of women into bed, but then it wasn't designed for the socially retarded. It also means you're less likely to hit middle age wanting to stab yourself in the face for being a manipulative ****.
                        The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

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                        • Speer: try to be an a-hole. You'll be surprised at how much **** a woman will take. Act like you don't care, even if you do. Not passive I don't care, active looking passive I don't care.
                          Yep, this.

                          One of my favorites is to get them to buy me drinks. If they're interested, they'll usually pick up at least one, hence proving to me that they aren't a worthless manipulative **** (at least not entirely). If they won't, I'm usually done with them.
                          Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
                          Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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                          • Originally posted by David Floyd View Post
                            Yep, this.

                            One of my favorites is to get them to buy me drinks. If they're interested, they'll usually pick up at least one, hence proving to me that they aren't a worthless manipulative **** (at least not entirely). If they won't, I'm usually done with them.

                            But you don't need to be be arrogant or an azz. Whats some women find attractive in the "arrogance" is the fact that the guy "doesn't care" -- he is not desperate for her to pay attention to him. True confidence works even better. You can be polite and respectful but still have an air about you that says that you consider yourself her equal.

                            I know this worked for me. I dated very little in high school but I rarely got up the nerve to ask anyone out. In uni I finally convinced myself that many of the girls would be lucky to have me and I stopped mooning over and seeking some idealized girl that I just had to go out with. Instead I asked out pretty much any pretty girl I liked. Since I wasn't pathetic-- and I ddin't really care that much if they said yes or no, they typically said yes.


                            You can use tricks or tactics if you want and I am sure many of them will work somewhat. But I think just being confident and self-assured is 90% of the battle.

                            I dated again in my early 30s when a LTR ended and it was ridiculously easy IMHO. These were late 20s wormen mainly and just being a decent guy who would take them to a nice dinner with "no expectations"meant that you could date them or bed them as you chose.

                            I think that women mostly want to be with a guy that appears as a "winner" and sometimes they will be with jerks or azzes to get that. If you can be confident and NOT be a douche, well you can have your pick

                            Oh and having a woman buy YOU a drink is no big deal. It shows she is not looking for guys to buy her drinks all night and demonstrates some interest.
                            Last edited by Flubber; May 25, 2010, 17:33.
                            You don't get to 300 losses without being a pretty exceptional goaltender.-- Ben Kenobi speaking of Roberto Luongo

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                            • Oh and having a woman buy YOU a drink is no big deal. It shows she is not looking for guys to buy her drinks all night and demonstrates some interest.
                              I know, at this point it's more of a running joke between my friends and I.
                              Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
                              Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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                              • Waiting till they ask you out is one approach...

                                www.match.com is another

                                I'm engaged again

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