Focus on the Family on how to prevent gayness

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Japher
because you cut your hair?

Because I don't try to be fashionable, I'm not fastidious about my appearance (I'm 100 lbs heavier), I'm gruffer looking, my demeanor is more "manly," etc.

[Datajack Franit]

That's only cause Datajack is a girly man who'd probably get beat up by one of dem flamers

I´m masculine. Even when getting ****ed

[Ben Kenobi]

heterosexism, the idea that each gender has certain, particular, prescribed (and proscribed) roles in society).

Interesting definition. So everyone who believes that men and women are different should also believe in wife beating? Hardly.

Most spouse abusers do not want to hit anyone. They just lose control of their anger. Anyone who belives they have a role they need to be secure in, is more likely to lose control of their anger when outside circumstances causes their "role" to be insecure. For example, financial insecurity increases the frequency and severity of spousal abuse.

Let me put it this way. How would the abuser regain his role by beating his wife? The idea is that in asserting control, he can affirm his role. That's the difference between the folks who say that there are different roles between men and women, and between the abusers. The abusers believe that abuse will strengthen rather than weaken their authority.

[boann]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara


It would explain your luck with men.

boann thinks of all the possiblities..
more selection.. i could be bi...

[boann]

and on a more serious note.
do any of you really know anything about spouse
abuse... except pulling data out of your ***

let me tell you from experience..
its nothing about sexual gender.
and its everything about control and power.
has nothing to do with being female or male
because there are abusers from both genders.

[Seeker]

"Masculinity is an achievement." [He] meant that growing up straight isn't something that happens."


It's been a long and winding road.

I'd like to thank all the little people who helped me on my way, especially my father for brandishing his shocking man-appendage at me, thereby shocking me from girly-boy decadence into rough-and-tumble junior football star in a single phallic relevation.

Remember folks, hetero doesn't "just happen". You have to WORK at it, day in, day out. I recommend group showers, contact team sports with locker rooms and 'learning about masculinity' in those locker rooms after the Big Game, and etc etc...

Semi-serious PS: Does anyone else think the author is a seriously suppressed/latent homosexual? I'm getting a very strong vibe that way.

[Az]

This would be hilarious if he did live conferences and stuff like that - he'd get carried away on stage.

[Ben Kenobi]

Is that directed at me boann?

I can only go on what others have told me.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Datajack Franit



I´m masculine. Even when getting ****ed

And there's no reason you wouldn't be. I'm betting there are big burly guys that are "bottoms" and feminine looking guys that are tops.

I don't see why this wouldn't be the case since I know guys that are feminine but are heterosexual horndogs and I know big burly masculine guys that are gay only.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by boann
and on a more serious note.
do any of you really know anything about spouse
abuse... except pulling data out of your ***

I never experienced it . I don't think I would put up with it if someone began to abuse me but that's much easier to say in the abstract and when I am financially and emotionally secure.

The closest I came was dating a girl whose relationship prior to mine was with an abusive guy. After a while she related a bit about the beatings and the shelter visits and the rapes (both vaginal and anal). After leaving him she purchased two pistols and went to the range regularly. She kept one of them loaded and under her bed.

She wasa beautiful woman and academically smart but after she and I broke up, she went back out with the guy. I don't claim to understand at all the cycle some abused people go through, but I did have a viewing of some of it

[Thorn]

****** ******** **** ****** ****** ***** *****, that's about what I have to say about this article.

[boann]

ben and flubber, i wasn't directing that at any one person...

abuse really isn't gender related.. thats all im saying in relation to this thread. theres a few posts talking about macho men and abusers... just saying abusers are not just male.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by Flubber

I can agree with that. Role models can be important but I'm betting that people without them are more likley to be a dysfunctional wife-beating homophobe

That really doesn't make a lot of sense to me. "Wife beating" aka domestic physical abuse is most likely where it is modeled for the children by their parents, but can arise in anyone who has their own boundaries violated and who consequently adopt a mindset that makes that ok in certain situations. Typically the only people who get along with these folks in relationships are those who have similar mindsets (ie it's ok to hit your partner, or ok for them to hit you). What this has to do with the lack of a male role model I'm not sure.

Homophobia seems to have several roots. First there is the sexually insecure person who has homosexual feelings, or who has been teased for being effeminate etc. They fear being humiliated by the discovery of any contact with homosexuals, or in the case of the repressed homosexual feelings they fear their own reaction to homosexuals. Others fear homosexuals because they consider homosexuality to be sinful and they don't want to associate with it in any way out of religiously inspired fear. Again I don't see where a male role model fits into this picture.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by Spiffor

Being a wife-beater usually comes from the idea that your "male role" allows you to beat your woman. It's a gender role pushed to the extreme.

An extreme adhesion to gender roles bears homophobia in itself, along with intolerance toward all kinds of behaviours that don't fit gender roles.

That's true in particular in certain societies where gender roles are traditionally extreme, but isn't so true in the west anymore. It's an abberation now and far from the norm, and even people who do this are quite aware of that. Unfortunately for them it's a difficult thing to get over or put a stop to once they've patterned themselves on that psychological model. Hence you have the woman with a long series of abusive boyfriends who should know better. Her problem is that she is only attracted to people who are willing to violate her boundaries, and isn't sure that someone loves her unless they are violating her boundaries. She will go so far as to provoke a lover when she is desperate enough for that sort of reassurance. Of course the gender roles can be and often are reversed, and this sort of abuse can be verbal as well as physical.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by Last Conformist
You're implying there are bodybuilders who are not gay?

Sure. There are probably even bodybuilders who are not a$$holes as well.