In memory of Gabrielle

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

To all here at 'Poly,
your well wishes are appreciated.

In response to a few of the inquiries:

We decided not to opt for an autoposy. As my wife is over the magical threshold of 35 yrs we know with fair certainty that there were no congenital defects due to intensive ultrasounds etc. that come with monitoring 35+ yr old women. Likewise this represents our third consecutive miscarriage albeit this one hurts most as Gabrielle was certainly viable (While the other two were first term) and if we had but known we could have done an emergency C-section or other procedure to save her. At present we think this will end our attempts at extending our family as fate has apparaently been telling us something and the pain is still too fresh.

We don't plan on any special service. We had her baptised in the church by our pastor. We plan to have her cremated and we will spread her ashes at the roots of a new tree we plan to plant in our front yard.

One of our biggest fears was how our daughter would respond. She already was getting some teasing from the other kids at school prior to this about her not being a big sister. WE decided to tell her the truth that she was truly a big sister and that her sister died. She would not come home. She didn't grasp that so on Saturday we took her to the funeral home where we allowed her to hold her baby sister . We took picutres so that we can explain to her as she grows older that this was her sister and that she truly is a Big sister.

She is the real trooper and has done marvelously. TO be truthful its not fair but she really is the one thing that is bouying our spirits up. Thats too much too ask for a 4 yr old but she is a marvel.

Again I thank all here for the outpouring of support. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

I hope you all will understand tho' the only thing that will get us through this is time. I appreciate everyones ear as I find the writing of these things as cathartic even if it brings on another set of tears.

[self biased]

:nods: indeed. telling the story may be painful, but it expresses the pain, and gives the pain less power over you. again, my condolances.

[Lancer]

That's so sad. May God ease your anguish, bring peace to your family.

I had a third brother, he would have been the eldest of three. He had defects and died before I was born. Name was Eric. He's family...always will be. I hope I get to meet him in heaven some sunny day.

[Berzerker]

No tears "smilie", so will have to do

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Ogie Oglethorpe
Likewise this represents our third consecutive miscarriage albeit this one hurts most as Gabrielle was certainly viable (While the other two were first term)

wow

[DaShi]

[East Street Trader]

You don't seem to be making demands on Madison - she is just there for you as you are there for her.

Plainly you and your wife are going to remember little Gabrielle and you do sensibly, I think, to involve Madison in that. My mother lost a child in a time before she met my dad and while married to someone else. It did not sit comfortably with my parents that my mum had divorced and re-married (society had very different attitudes about such things not so very long ago) and they never talked about it. It has not seemed right to probe but from time to time I have wondered just a bit about my older step brother or sister even though he or she died in infancy before I was born. I think Madison will appreciate taking her part in remembering her sister - despite the sadness. Or, in part, because of it.

Stay close to your wife.

You have a good pastor.

[Barinthus]

I actually cried when I read your story. My heart goes out to you and your family. I also hope your wife will come out of this tragedy ok.

There are more I want to say but I think this is enough for now. I wish nothing but the best for you all.

[Rogan Josh]

Condolences.

[Kuciwalker]

[Pax]

[hexagonian]

My prayers are with you and your entire family.

[DinoDoc]

[Chemical Ollie]

Originally posted by Ogie Oglethorpe

One of our biggest fears was how our daughter would respond. She already was getting some teasing from the other kids at school prior to this about her not being a big sister. WE decided to tell her the truth that she was truly a big sister and that her sister died. She would not come home. She didn't grasp that so on Saturday we took her to the funeral home where we allowed her to hold her baby sister . We took picutres so that we can explain to her as she grows older that this was her sister and that she truly is a Big sister.

That was really brave of you. I remember my dad telling how hard it was to explain to my brothers that they had to go home from the hospital empty-handed when they had been expecting a baby brother. (My parents had six boys, of which 3 died before or during birth).

But kids understand more about death than you could expect. I remember my own girl, when we visited Granddad's grave for the first time (she was not yet 3 years old) and I tried to explain to her:
- Granddaddy is sleeping here under the lawn.
- But dad, how can someone sleep when he is dead?

[Ben Kenobi]

We had her baptised in the church by our pastor. We plan to have her cremated and we will spread her ashes at the roots of a new tree we plan to plant in our front yard.

Yes, you have a good pastor.