Insults and Put Downs. Know Any Good Ones?

[Japher]

Your the wad that should of been swallowed.

You should of been the poster boy for abortion.

Your mama's so dumb it takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

My personal favorite: Oh, yea!!!

Are you stupid, or do you just look that way?

[Japher]

I need to go to the Sloww and take a Hand...(proceed to the bathroom)

[Ecthy]

Wel Sloww, you just proved how old you really are

[MikeH]

Comebacks and put downs are all about being witty in context. Stock lines will always sound lame.

[Japher]

Stock lines will always sound lame.

I know you are but what am I?

[SlowwHand]

Originally posted by bfg9000
Ya know, I've started threads like this before and the mods have shut them down almost immediately. People like MrFun and Solver have come along and complained and gotten them shut down. But for Slowwhand, the thread stays alive. The mods do play favorites here. The definition of spam here at ACS all depends on who is doing the spamming....

I like this thread. I find it entertaining and I am not asking to have it closed. I'm just pointing out the double standard.

Will you spend time in the cooler with me every time?

[Stuie]

I think we can all take a lesson from Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket:

HARTMAN: What's your excuse?
COWBOY: Sir, excuse for what, sir?
HARTMAN: I'm asking the ****ing questions here, Private. Do you understand?!
COWBOY: Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN: Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?
COWBOY: Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN: Are you shook up? Are you nervous?
COWBOY: Sir, I am, sir!
HARTMAN: Do I make you nervous?
COWBOY: Sir!
HARTMAN: Sir, what? Were you about to call me an *******?!
COWBOY: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: How tall are you, Private?
COWBOY: Sir, five foot nine, sir!
HARTMAN: Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked **** that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
COWBOY: Sir, no, sir.
HARTMAN: Bull****! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated! Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY: Sir, Texas, sir!
HARTMAN: Holy dog****! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks!
COWBOY: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: Are you a peter-puffer?
COWBOY: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would **** a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!

Sergeant HARTMAN walks down the line to another recruit, a tall, overtweight boy.

HARTMAN: Did your parents have any children that lived?
PYLE: Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN: I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! What's your name, fatbody?
PYLE: Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!
HARTMAN: Lawrence? Lawrence, what, of Arabia?
PYLE: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: That name sounds like royalty! Are you royalty?
PYLE: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: Do you suck dicks?
PYLE: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: Bull****! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!
PYLE: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: I don't like the name Lawrence! Only ******s and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on you're Gomer Pyle!

[SpencerH]

I love that scene. Good clean fun for the whole family.

[Ben Kenobi]

You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece!

LMFAO!

In this book I just read.

"You're like Jesus. Jesus was just as wise an infant, as when he was grown."