Apolyton spellbook

[Spiffor]

LOL attack
A variation of the Rolleyes attack whose purpose is to defeat any argument by throwing a massive amount of smilies at it. Important immediate damage, but the spell is inefficient if the argument resists to the first wave. In this case, any further use of the LOL attack is self damaging for the caster
Edit : a typical LOL attack can be witnessed here

LOL healing
A technique similar to the LOL attack in its preparation, but with a very different outcome. The caster uses a LOL defense on an ally to boost his ally's charisma by showing his jokes are funny.
Edit : a typical LOL healing can be found here

Real masters of the LOL School can execute both LOL techniques in the same thread.

[Lonestar]

Armchair General
Claiming vast knowledge and prediction of a armed conflict's outcome, dispite never having been in the Armed Services.

Is There a God?
Not to be confused with Does God Exist, this spell provokes MtG into a righteous rage, and the caster of the spell soon finds out "Is there a God?".

[Lonestar]

Military Wannabe
Creature Enchantment. Said poster claims to have been in the military/armed conflict but seems to give answers conflicting with real servicemens' views. Causes enchanted creature to look like a dumb ass in front of everyone.

Slowwhand's Irrestiable Dance
Creates an infinite number of songs, complete with lyrics.

[GePap]

Instant promotion: (can only be cast by those with military experience) Magicaly turns individuals from lower ranks into 4 star generals, making them think they are the only worthwhile authority into military history. Length of illusion differs, last longer is backed by other spells. (best with higher strenght [actual knowledge])

Accusatory definition: creature enchantment. Attempts to lower enemy defense and charisma by throwing at it a political label indiscriminately. 95% chance that the spell will be cast back as well.

[GePap]

On smiley sprite demons:

These varied magical creatures affect various aspects of a poster.

Some enhance/lower charisma
Others are used for attack and defense.

(not a full list)

On the charisma scale:
+1
(variable), +- 1
+2
+1
-1
-2
+2
-2
-2

both charisma and attack smileys:

-2 Ch, +2 attack
-1 ch, attack
-2 ch, attack


Attack

+1 attack

[Spiffor]

Ignore
A rarely used spell which allows the caster to be sheltered from other charatcers. However, only the strongest posters can continue to attack their enemies after having cast Ignore on them.

[loinburger]

Finnegan's Fabulous Fingers-In-Your-Ears - Cast by telling another poster that he/she is on your ignore list. Does not actually have to be cast in conjunction with ignore.

Ambrose's Ambiguous Ass-Wrappage - Cast by hurling a self-made insult at another poster. Confounds most (if not all) counter-insults, since the other poster knows that he/she has been insulted, but isn't exactly certain how he/she has been insulted.

[Lonestar]

Loinburger, anyone tell you you're a genius?

[orange]

Clapton's Casual Canvas - Often cast by Slowwhand, this spell is used to create semi-random images which correspond with a preivous post.

[Kuciwalker]

Bold - used to put special emphasis on certain words.

[orange]

Fin - A spell used to post in another language (not necessarily finnish).

[Lonestar]

Too Many Damn Middleeast Threads
Blanket destruction of Middleeast Threads.

JohnT's Books of Vile Darkness
Creates Apolyton Sci-fi book club.

[Urban Ranger]

Godwin's Law - global enchantment. Any poster who accuses the opposition of being a Nazi or communist loses the debate automatically. This spell cannot be dispelled or countered.

Cite - this spell opens a gate to another dimension, where the local denizens will support the caster's position.

[Ben Kenobi]

Kudos to mods for relocating the thread to its proper home.

Slice

Allows caster to ignore well-constructed, coherent posts by reducing said post to isolated sentences. Lowers morale of all thread combatants. Can only be countered by dreaded or attacks cast by high-charisma posters.

[Ari Rahikkala]

Markos's Mighty Mangling
One of the most potent spells, usable only by those with True Power. Increases the strength of the global aura of magic by adding more hacks to the forum software.

Global Banishment
Not a spell per se. All magic users are banished to their native plane of existence by a temporary destruction of the world of the Forum.

Ugandan Computer Tirade
Named after a certain Ugandan prince. Starts a thread about one or more advancements in technology. Though the first post is usually biased to one side, all the posts following it tend to be biased to the other.

Conformism to non-conformism
Makes a non-conformist conform to the current standard of non-conformism. This spell has an area effect, so it is useful for creating large groups of non-conformists to support the underdogs, especially in discussions created by Ugandan Computer Tirades, and it is widely known that the reason why the general bias of those threads tends to be towards non-conformism is because of the existence and common use of this spell.