Apolyton spellbook

[Urban Ranger]

Fezzidise - a combination of Troll, Patriotism, and Spam effects all rolled into one powerful spell. Casting this spell however will cause severe losses of prestige and charisma.

[loinburger]

Donny's Dastardly Dicktification - Turns a thread into a circle-jerk, with much "lolling" and "rolleyesing" for all involved.

Emma's Eminent Emasculation - A given picture thread is hijacked by pictures that are inappropriate for that particular thread topic. Example: Pictures of men and/or fat chicks in a Babes Thread, or pictures of corpses in a War Machines thread. Often leads to much circle-jerking on the part of the offending parties, with many rolleyes always directed at the legitimate thread participants ("Clearly the legitimate participants of this thread are sexist since they are not posting pictures of fat chicks ").

Assclown's Arbitrary Aptitude - Poster claims expertise in a given field, despite having the equivalent knowledge of any given 12-year-old in said field (note: poster might actually be 12 years old). Generally involves much plaigarizing of Nietzsche, Rand, Marx, or any other oft-quoted philosopher/economist, with the false implication that said ass-clown actually understands said philosopher/economist.

Odin's Onerous One-Trick-Ponyism - Poster beats a horse to death, and continues beating said dead horse long into its slow descent into rigor mortis and eventual rot. Often involves turning the dead horse into a scapegoat for all of the poster's problems in life, from said poster's impotence ("It's France's fault that my genitals do not function") to said poster's general ineptitude ("It's America's fault that I'm a lazy bastard").

[Urban Ranger]

Obfuscation - Poster responds to a post by cutting it into tiny bits and comment on each one, most often sentence by sentence. The net effect is the poster avoids the main thrust of the argument while picking on minor and often irrelevent issues.

[Kuciwalker]

Originally posted by alva
Revive - undo for the spell above

no, that's "bump"

[loinburger]

Vlad's Voluminous Vomitorium - Poster infects a thread, a set of threads, or an entire forum with his/her insane and inane alcoholic babbling.

Jorje's Horrendous Happenstance - Poster's infectious spam and/or invective triggers a wave of thread closings, causing many semi-innocent threads to fall in its wake. Also known as a Sacrifice Spammage.

[Urban Ranger]

Flamebait (often known as Troll) - a post written specifically to provoke Flames.

[Inverse Icarus]

Originally posted by loinburger

Assclown's Arbitrary Aptitude - Poster claims expertise in a given field, despite having the equivalent knowledge of any given 12-year-old in said field (note: poster might actually be 12 years old). Generally involves much plaigarizing of Nietzsche, Rand, Marx, or any other oft-quoted philosopher/economist, with the false implication that said ass-clown actually understands said philosopher/economist.

it's sh1t like this that made me vote loin for funniest polydude.

[Inverse Icarus]

Gayification - Often cast on pefrectly good babe threads, completely destroying the thread's worth.

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by DrSpike
Prediction: Any poster can cast this spell, but only the skilled should try. If the prediction is correct experience points are gained, but if not an egg magically materialises on the caster's face.

Life expectancy of this thread, 2 more hours.

Spell backfired. DrSpike suffers embarassing loss of face.

[Shi Huangdi]

Gate of Civnation

Opens a portal to the lower planes, causing any given thread to be flooded by infinite infernal creatures that it is impossible to attack them.

[orange]

Pollcast
User creates a poll to accompany his thread

Votecast
User casts a vote on a poll

Secret Passage
Expert Users may cast this spell to unlock secret hidden forums. Note: this is not advised, as this often leads to the use of Ming's Magnificent Mansion.

Vacation Bait
User specifically does something illegal in the hopes of being banned when he is already planning to take a vacation from the site

Exodus
User claims to be leaving the site forever

See you soon
Cast in response to Exodus when the Exodus is presumed to be false.

DL Dance
A simple spell using a smile, indicating that a new user is infact a Double Login.

Lurk
This simple spell is used by shy members, and requires no energy to cast. The user is able to spy on others without being seen.

Shadow Lurk
It is much the same as the Lurk, except the user has not registered on the forum.

Lasso
This advanced technique is used to rope resident users into other forums, such as CGN, Counterglow, FFZ, etc.

Teleportation Link
A simple spell which warps other users to the far reaches of the internet to examine strange articles and hilarious photos.

Heartattack
This spell is cast by users who wish to have a laugh at the expense of others. By casting a specific Teleportation Link spell, the spellcaster transports their victim to an area of the internet which harbours frightening flash movie files. Use with caution.

Crybaby
This spell is used by forum whiners who do not get enough attention in real life and overcompensate through the internet. Advanced spellcasters avoid members who often cast this spell.

[muxec]

Note:
DL spell is low level version of spell of reincarnation

[DRoseDARs]

Double Post
Doubles the likelyhood of a cast spell's success.

[DRoseDARs]

Double Post
Doubles the likelyhood of a cast spell's success.

[DRoseDARs]

Drunken Post
mIm drujnkl b uta imm fellin FIIINNE!!!111!

Translation: It is a distress signal to notify the nearest allied high-level mage (aka moderators) that the distressee has been attacked with Vlad's Voluminous Vomitorium spell and is in desperate need of a healing spell. Often, such spells are found on the island of Mingapulco. High-level mages can use the Teleport spell to send the afflicted to the island for the necessary time to heal.