Judge: The defendant is accused of having insufficient human DNA to remain alive. Prosecutor Ben Kenobi, please make your case.
Ben Kenobi: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a liberal arts degree, and with this expertise I have determined that it is morally permissible to kill somebody whose genes vary by more than .0001% from the baseline as this means that they are not human.
Judge: And DNA is the only means by which you determine whether somebody morally qualifies as being a person?
Ben Kenobi: For purposes of trolling abortion threads, yes.
Ben Kenobi: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a liberal arts degree, and with this expertise I have determined that it is morally permissible to kill somebody whose genes vary by more than .0001% from the baseline as this means that they are not human.
Judge: And DNA is the only means by which you determine whether somebody morally qualifies as being a person?
Ben Kenobi: For purposes of trolling abortion threads, yes.
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