You've Been Invited to Her Place...

[Lorizael]

Why not? It's not like married people have sex every time they sleep in the same bed.

My answer was only for the scenario as presented. When I was living with my gf, there were plenty of nights we slept in the same bed and did not have sex. But I'm not going to sleep in the same bed as someone I'm sexually attracted to but have no sexual history with, especially if she's already said we're not going to have sex. That's a level of intimacy I am very unlikely to be comfortable with.

[Felch]

When people talk about blaming the victim, I always think of this:

[Sava]

"You wanna have sex?"
"You wanna ride the D Train?"
"Have you gotten your daily supply of vitamin D?"

[Kidlicious]

You got a taker, MRT.

[Guynemer]

"Rape Culture" is 100% just people getting very drunk and probably actually consenting to sex, while drunk but the only witnesses were wasted so nobody knows precisely what happened (obviously this means we should assume guilt ). Pro tip: there is one thing you can do that guarantees you won't be raped (you know if you're interested in not being raped, this is a good idea) and that's don't get drunk enough that you don't remember what happened in the morning.

Ummmm... wow. No.

[Guynemer]

Is this some sort of weird hangover from the Pilgrim Fathers that stops Americans asking "Fancy a shag?"?

Pretty much, yes.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

But I'm not going to sleep in the same bed as someone I'm sexually attracted to but have no sexual history with, especially if she's already said we're not going to have sex. That's a level of intimacy I am very unlikely to be comfortable with.

It's actually really nice. There's a bit of a frisson which won't go anywhere (as is often the case when you're young and full of hormones) but in the full knowledge that nothing raunchy will happen you just bundle up together innocently.

[Guynemer]

...and lie awake all night, staring at the ceiling, furiously trying to think unsexy thoughts to keep from developing an erection.


But, still, it was nice overall.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Pfft. If boners happen, they happen.

If it proves an insurmountable problem you just yank one out in the bathroom.

[Kidlicious]

I've developed a sense about women who might want me to sleep with them and not have sex. I don't bother wasting their time.

[Ben Kenobi]

Uh, would this be the right thread to disclose that I got solicited like 2 days ago by a prostitute in the line at Whataburger at 2am?

[Kidlicious]

Uh, would this be the right thread to disclose that I got solicited like 2 days ago by a prostitute in the line at Whataburger at 2am?

Assuming you said no, of course.

[regexcellent]

I've done that many times.

I mean within context. If she's your regular wife or girlfriend then obviously that doesn't apply.

Is this some sort of weird hangover from the Pilgrim Fathers that stops Americans asking "Fancy a shag?"?

Well, we would phrase it differently because "shag" is a terrible word.

[DinoDoc]

Given recent discussions around here, I'm curious where the mostly male audience of poly draws the line as far as consent for sexual intercourse with a woman is.

The scenario is that you've been invited to her place. There's been no history of sex between you, but there's been mutual interest since you met. She invites you to stay the night and proposes you sleep in her bed, but she hasn't been clear she's interested in sex. She's given some verbal cues that she's not. You go to bed with night clothes on. You end up having sex. She's consented if: you make advances and...

Wait for the poll, but feel free to begin staking out extreme positions and bickering

Are you facing rape charges, nye?

[regexcellent]

Oh, also, almost all reported rapes on college campuses involve alcohol. Further investigation reveals the simple conclusion that the real culprit behind college campus rape is that students, both men and women, drink way too much. This has never been some big secret.

If you want to prevent rape on college campuses you should have efforts to curb unsafe consumption of alcohol by both men and women, not have this retarded consent education bull**** that I know from experience nobody takes seriously. I doubt anyone is going to take seminars on alcohol seriously either, but at least you are attacking the actual problem: people know about consent and its importance; they are just too drunk to care (or they do care and neither party remembers what happened).