You've Been Invited to Her Place...

[notyoueither]

Given recent discussions around here, I'm curious where the mostly male audience of poly draws the line as far as consent for sexual intercourse with a woman is.

The scenario is that you've been invited to her place. There's been no history of sex between you, but there's been mutual interest since you met. She invites you to stay the night and proposes you sleep in her bed, but she hasn't been clear she's interested in sex. She's given some verbal cues that she's not. You go to bed with night clothes on. You end up having sex. She's consented if: you make advances and...

Wait for the poll, but feel free to begin staking out extreme positions and bickering

[notyoueither]

Let's have the poll time out in 7 days, private and not multiple choice. What's the threshold for consensual sex given the scenario.

[Hauldren Collider]

Have you recently had this experience or something?

[Hauldren Collider]

Also this changes a lot depending on whether there was alcohol involved.

[Sava]

She's given some verbal cues that she's not. You go to bed with night clothes on. You end up having sex.

It seems like you are skipping lots of steps. Do you people not believe in direct questions?

"Are we having sex?"

[Sava]

and here's a clue for you neckbeards:

she starts yelling NO NO NO

or is incapacitated

otherwise, why are you worrying about consent?

make them sign a contract if you are so

[Lorizael]

Personally, I'm only going to have sex with someone if they explicitly, verbally consent (unless there's implied consent from past sexual history, in which case I would still require the person to not be drunk and to actively want it). But that's because I'm extremely particular about boundaries. I can understand why a person would conclude that the other party going along with sex implies consent, however.

[Lorizael]

But man, if the person had given verbal cues that they weren't interested in sex, there's no way I'm sleeping in the same bed as them, let alone initiating sex.

[Kidlicious]

It's consent until she says no or she can't, duh.

[Kidlicious]

and here's a clue for you neckbeards:

she starts yelling NO NO NO

or is incapacitated

otherwise, why are you worrying about consent?

make them sign a contract if you are so

Because people like to see a man in prison.

[regexcellent]

If you need help from a chart or online poll to decide if a woman is consenting to sex or not you're a god damn mongoloid hth

"Rape Culture" is 100% just people getting very drunk and probably actually consenting to sex, while drunk but the only witnesses were wasted so nobody knows precisely what happened (obviously this means we should assume guilt ). Pro tip: there is one thing you can do that guarantees you won't be raped (you know if you're interested in not being raped, this is a good idea) and that's don't get drunk enough that you don't remember what happened in the morning.

Here's what "rape culture" is not: it is NOT a woman inviting a man to her home, then inviting him to sleep in the same bed as her, then the man falsely assuming that this means they are going to have sex and plowing away without asking. If this has actually happened anywhere I'll eat my ****ing socks.

[kentonio]

Dear god..

[regexcellent]

Also I'm with Lori, why the **** would you sleep in the same bed if you're not having sex. No thanks, I'll sleep on the couch.

[C0ckney]

"Rape Culture" is 100% just people getting very drunk and probably actually consenting to sex, while drunk but the only witnesses were wasted so nobody knows precisely what happened (obviously this means we should assume guilt ). Pro tip: there is one thing you can do that guarantees you won't be raped (you know if you're interested in not being raped, this is a good idea) and that's don't get drunk enough that you don't remember what happened in the morning.

and don't wear short skirts and revealing tops. if you do, don't complain when a man sticks his penis into you without your consent; you're just asking for it.

[regexcellent]

1. No
2. Suggesting that maybe there are positive pro-active steps you can take to avoid being raped is not blaming the victim and you are part of the problem here