Please don't take this too seriously.

[ricketyclik]

So where exactly do you jam this thing Jean?

[Lorizael]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-mans-intelligence-probably-just-too-intimidat,33916

Area Man’s Intelligence Probably Just Too Intimidating For Most Women

MILWAUKEE—Describing his mind as both “a blessing and a curse,” local man Benjamin Walker, 27, told reporters Thursday that his intellect was probably just too intimidating for most women to engage with romantically.

“I’m a very, very smart guy, and I guess most women are pretty scared off by that, you know?” said Walker, confirming that women often seem extremely uncomfortable and agitated around him, most likely because of how cultured and well-read he is. “After I’ve been speaking to a girl for just a few minutes, she’ll usually start to get this look in her eyes like she wants to bolt and I can just tell that she’s feeling so intellectually inferior that it’s impossible for her to continue with the conversation.”

“Which is understandable,” Walker added. “I am able to speak confidently and at length about a wide range of subjects, so it’s probably hard for most women to follow along.”

According to the Milwaukee resident, whenever he is talking to a young woman and begins to expound at length on one of the many topics he is well versed in—such as Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers or the British graffiti artist Banksy—she begins to appear highly overwhelmed by his mental capacity and quickly grows visibly restless and distant.

Walker, who acknowledged that his imposing cleverness and quick wit likely caused women to feel insecure about not being as smart as he is, confirmed that females frequently displayed an averse reaction to his impressive mind by noticeably “checking out” of the conversation or attempting, no doubt in fear and awe, to exit the discussion as quickly as possible.

The 27-year-old, who graduated from Syracuse University in 2007, told reporters that he subscribes to The New Yorker magazine and keeps up with the news on a daily basis—all facts that Walker said seem to persistently leave the opposite sex speechless when he inserts them into conversation.

“I should really be more careful, I suppose, because I can see that my intelligence can be a major hindrance to meeting women, most of whom are probably looking for a guy with a more ordinary or slowed-down intellect—you know, someone more on their level,” said Walker. “Sometimes, after talking to a girl at a party, for instance, I will try to approach her again and she’ll purposefully avoid eye contact with me, just so she doesn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of contending with my staggering mental faculties.”

“It’s tough, because I really try my best to relieve their anxiety and say, ‘Hey, look, don’t sweat it, I’m used to people not being able to keep up with my mind,’” added Walker. “But that never seems to help. They’re too petrified by that point.”

Admitting that his remarkable mind can make him appear unapproachable, Walker told reporters that he has even taken to downplaying his formidable intellect during first dates in order to put women at ease, employing tactics such as talking slower or briefly pausing to allow his conversational partners time to process the information that he imparts at a breakneck pace.

Ultimately, however, Walker said there was only so much he could do to lower his cognitive standards to another’s level.

“Recently, for example, I talked to this girl at a bar for half an hour about Radiohead—quoting lyrics and telling her about how the band went in a new musical direction with [their 2000 album] Kid A—you know, really making it easy for her to understand,” Walker said. “Things were going great, and I was saying a lot of very interesting stuff, but when I tried to call her a few days later, she never picked up or returned my calls.”

“And it’s like, look, I’m a sophisticated guy, I like sophisticated music,” Walker added. “If you can’t get that, then there’s nothing I can do for you.”

Walker confessed that at the past few parties he has attended, his profound sagacity pushed women toward less intellectually arresting men.

“Unfortunately I sometimes puzzle women with my lofty comments and thought-provoking remarks, and that drives them right into the arms of complete dopes because that’s less scary for them,” said Walker. “You know, the kind of guys who can barely string together 10 words before resorting to asking a girl about her hobbies or what she does for a living. It’s like, what’s the point? Is that even a conversation?”

“And this is why I’ve never really been in a long-term relationship before, because the girls I’m with tend to get frustrated with their inability to think on my level,” the 27-year-old continued. “In the end, I think the problem is that they want to be with me because of my exceptional wit, but they eventually realize that I’m just too deep.”

This is pretty much me, except I have enough self-awareness to know that the problem isn't that I'm just so gosh darn smart, but that I'm an *******. Also, I'm not a misogynist, because I use my intelligence as a weapon against men and women equally.

It happened in my astronomy class yesterday. We were discussing a problem in groups, and I was having a disagreement with one of my classmates about a particular subject. (Turns out I was wrong.) But during this disagreement, I kept asking her to explain a particular point to me. I was genuinely curious and wanted her answer, but I know that's not how it came across. It came across as if I were interrogating her and challenging her.

And I was reminded of a long-running problem my second girlfriend and I had, which was that she hated how I asked her questions. To her it always seemed like I was quizzing her and that if she gave the wrong answer, I would be disappointed. She actually did tell me that she was intimidated by my intelligence. Which was ****ing ridiculous, because she was damn smart, too. And yeah, I'm a pretty smart guy, but I'm not a genius. It's not that I have an otherworldly intellect but that I use my intelligence as a weapon against others because it's one of the only ways I can keep my self-esteem from going down the ****ter.

[ricketyclik]

That was pretty much me when I was younger, until I realised that I'm just not that smart

[Bereta_Eder]

When one's stressed he tends to use longer words. (assuming he knows any)
words are not there to meticulously describe Rosaceae's endearing properties they are there to invoke emotions.

[Elok]

The other day I was subbing an art class, where a freckly, stocky-built but not fat (or especially ugly, that I could tell) boy was sitting across from a very pretty girl. I'd say they were both fourteen or fifteen. She was sweet, friendly, not evidently stupid but not "intellectual"--and he hadn't the slightest idea how to talk to her, or the girl next to her. But he obviously wanted to, so he settled for the only way of relating to girls that he knew: being annoying. He was making pedantic logical objections to offhanded remarks in their private conversation, acting snotty and superior about irrelevant and trivial matters, criticizing her art project, and at one point whispering her name over and over again to distract her. I went from wanting to smack him to feeling really sad for him. I was that kid in middle school. I kind of wanted to pull him aside, explain in a paternal way that he was doing himself no favors. But I knew he wouldn't listen if I did, and it'd be horribly awkward if I tried. So I just winced every time I passed their table. Ah, the stupidity of youth.

Not sure what the point of telling you this is. That you're not alone, maybe?

[EPW]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/are...ntimidat,33916

http://www.theonion.com/articles/are...ntimidat,33916

You may find this amusing(in relation to the article):

[Lorizael]

The other day I was subbing an art class, where a freckly, stocky-built but not fat (or especially ugly, that I could tell) boy was sitting across from a very pretty girl. I'd say they were both fourteen or fifteen. She was sweet, friendly, not evidently stupid but not "intellectual"--and he hadn't the slightest idea how to talk to her, or the girl next to her. But he obviously wanted to, so he settled for the only way of relating to girls that he knew: being annoying. He was making pedantic logical objections to offhanded remarks in their private conversation, acting snotty and superior about irrelevant and trivial matters, criticizing her art project, and at one point whispering her name over and over again to distract her. I went from wanting to smack him to feeling really sad for him. I was that kid in middle school. I kind of wanted to pull him aside, explain in a paternal way that he was doing himself no favors. But I knew he wouldn't listen if I did, and it'd be horribly awkward if I tried. So I just winced every time I passed their table. Ah, the stupidity of youth.

Not sure what the point of telling you this is. That you're not alone, maybe?

This isn't really how I behaved in middle school. By then, I'd already "learned" that talking to people was a mistake and I mostly didn't do it. It's almost always only my friends who think I'm an *******, because they're the only ones I'm comfortable enough with to speak openly around. There are occasions when acquaintances or strangers get a whiff of my inner *******, though--mostly when they're wrong about something and I feel a need to correct them for whatever stupid reason.

Additionally, I do try every once in awhile to be a little more outgoing, but it almost never goes well. The incident in astronomy class is one such time. My goal was to actually participate in the group discussion rather than sit quietly and wait for the whole experience to be over. Later during the class, the TA asked a question and I answered it, but too quietly. The same girl from before repeated my answer, but more loudly. Others were surprised she knew the answer (not because it was some difficult question, just because it was random dumb trivia), and she said that I had said it first. I said, "Thank you for giving me the credit," in what was supposed to be a silly, jokey kind of way. The look she gave me suggested that was not how she interpreted it, however...

[Lorizael]

Weekend is over again. Pretty sure tomorrow is going to be a bad day.

[Lorizael]

Have to be at work in 8.5 hours. How many more episodes of DS9 should I watch before I go to bed?

[ColdWizard]

.5

[Lorizael]

No commercials. So my guess is you mean 2/3.

[Lorizael]

Also I have to wake up, shower, dress, and drive to work. It's already too late for me to get 8 hours of sleep.

[ColdWizard]

No commercials. So my guess is you mean 2/3.

You are wrong. I assumed there were no commercials. I was trying to give you a few minutes of snooze button time.

[Lorizael]

Bah. I'll just go to bed now. Maybe I'll have good dreams for a change. I... hmm... I'm not sure I've ever had a good dream before, now that I think about it. They're always full of fear and anxiety and regret. What is this bull**** about the American Dream or getting your dream job or achieving your dreams? Dreams are terrible, goddammit.

[N35t0r]

They can be wacky.

I dreamt about my marriage last night, only I got really tired and went to sleep around 10:30, missing most of it :tass: