Please don't take this too seriously.

[The Mad Monk]

Here I am at Panera with my writing group, torturing myself. Me, the ex, and two other writers. I'm not even sure what I'm doing here. There's nothing I'm writing right now. I want to have a chat with the ex tonight, let her know that, I guess, this whole friendship thing isn't really working out. I'm not entirely sure why I'm going to do that, but it seems like the right thing to do? Monkeys. I hate myself. I should eat something.

There's your first problem. Never go there. Panera is overpriced pretentious food for hipsters, douches, and hipster douches.

[Lorizael]

Well, I left my ex in tears. That was fun.

[Felch]

My voodoo doll is working.

[Felch]

Wait - in tears because you talked to her, or in tears because of my voodoo hex?

[Lorizael]

Her crying certainly seemed to be causally related to me talking to her, but I obviously can't prove there wasn't a voodoo hex going on.

[Sava]

Einstein looks like he's judging me.

[Lorizael]

He is. You probably think you can tell the difference between an elevator and gravity.

[Felch]

Her crying certainly seemed to be causally related to me talking to her, but I obviously can't prove there wasn't a voodoo hex going on.

The important thing is that she left in tears.

I'll keep doing the voodoo just in case it helps.

[Bereta_Eder]

Painful but ultimately beneficial move, mature and long overdue. That she was crying maybe means somrthing but better not think about it now.

[Lorizael]

She was crying because she was more or less losing one of her closest friends, if only (hopefully) temporarily. I told her I thought she was only upset conceptually, because we haven't even seen much of each other the last few months. But from her point of view, that was so we could have some space, so that we could move on, so that we wouldn't have to do something like this. I... I had figured that was just the way she wanted things, that she was busy with the new boyfriend and (justifiably) didn't have much time for me. But apparently not. She would have much rather we remained good, close friends, and I basically told her what little friendship we had left was too much. So yeah, she cried. Because I don't have my **** together, because I'm ****ing broken, because I can't even control my own ****ing emotions.

[Bereta_Eder]

However it's not that you're not controlling your own emotions because someone ripped you off 10 cents on change at some minimarket, it's that you're having a very, very common reaction to being with a person for 5 years and then seeing them casually with their new love affair moving on with their lives while you're stuck.
There is no right and wrong in this and some people may have the best intetions in the world for us and love us but are holding us back.
The scale by which such things are measured are our own lives.
You can see people with vastly "succesful" lives crumbling to the ground and crying like infants at similar situations.

Also, you did not shout at her, insult her or did anything bad. You tried to do something good for you that if she loves you, really loves you, she'll eventually understand and want that for you too.
That it sucks big time? No question.
That you are a "freak that can't control his emotions"? Not in the slightest. It's the human condition :/ And a chance to be happier.

[Lorizael]

Oh, she understands. I kept apologizing the whole time and she told me it was okay, that we had a problem and this was the solution.

[Sava]

Oh, she understands. I kept apologizing the whole time and she told me it was okay, that we had a problem and this was the solution.

[rah]

Good for you. I refuse to believe you're truly broken if you were able to do what you did. Congrats. It was long over due, no matter how hard it was for you.

[Sava]

Yeah, what rah said.

And besides, you don't quite reach "broken" status until you are 34, living at home, don't leave the house for months on end and are self-medicating