Can't post without thread title.

[Elok]

But what's wrong with running over people in GTA4? It's quite cathartic.

Nothing at all, I imagine. But it's more of a band-aid than a tourniquet.

With regards to a good time to start dating... life is never perfect. If he's standing on a ledge, well then yes... perhaps he should seek a more intensive style of treatment before female companionship. It just sounds like he's upset because his relationship ended. There's nothing wrong with finding comfort (physical or otherwise) in the arms of another.

I'm proceeding on the assumption that he's quite literally depressed. I've been there; it's like the gearshift controlling your emotions is stuck in "despair" constantly, and even if you know it's all crap you can't stop it. So you come up with excuses--any excuse you can find will do, however flimsy--to distort reality into a shape that matches your feelings. So, for example, if I were still depressed I would say "'the gearshift controlling your emotions?' OMG, that's such a clunky, stupid metaphor. Why do I think I can write at all? I'm such a damned failure that I deserve to sub middle schools forever." But my condition has upgraded from "depressed" to merely "strong morbid tendencies," plus my wife tends to call me on that crap, so I don't do it so much anymore.

[Lorizael]

I am indeed on the low end of a depressive cycle. I'd come up with a similar metaphor to describe my emotional state, but Elok's was so much better than anything I could come up with that there's no point in even trying. There I go again, looking for excuses to give up. I'm such a **** up. I'll never amount to anything.

[Sava]

I'm proceeding on the assumption that he's quite literally depressed. I've been there; it's like the gearshift controlling your emotions is stuck in "despair" constantly, and even if you know it's all crap you can't stop it. So you come up with excuses--any excuse you can find will do, however flimsy--to distort reality into a shape that matches your feelings. So, for example, if I were still depressed I would say "'the gearshift controlling your emotions?' OMG, that's such a clunky, stupid metaphor. Why do I think I can write at all? I'm such a damned failure that I deserve to sub middle schools forever." But my condition has upgraded from "depressed" to merely "strong morbid tendencies," plus my wife tends to call me on that crap, so I don't do it so much anymore.

That sucks. I'm a lifelong depressive too. I can relate.

With regards to coping skills, they are all band-aids. Depression is a symptom as much as an illness. Playing video games won't get rid of depression. But if doing it (or anything else) for a few hours relieves symptoms, why not?

For some reason, Minecraft seems to really help me. I like starting on new worlds and organizing tree farms. Something about the OCD fix seems to give me some relief.

[Lorizael]

As I said earlier, I don't have great coping mechanisms. The best thing I can do to take my mind off **** is watch stupid, mindless television. I can't really do anything that involves thinking or problem-solving because my self-esteem is very much wrapped up in my intelligence, so if I encounter any stumbling blocks that relate to my intelligence, I become exceedingly self-critical and it sends me down into an even deeper hole.

[Ben Kenobi]

Broke up with girlfriend 2 months ago because I'm a ****ing idiot who doesn't want kids. Living in tiny room in ****ty house in crappy part of town with 3 strangers because rent is cheap. Never lived with strangers before. Feel like I can't make a sound without bothering roommates. They don't care. They don't complain. It's only my ****ed up issues that make it matter. Can't seem to get up on time for work. Tired all the time. Need vacation. Can't have one. Work, school, work, school. Good thing I don't drink. Or maybe drinking would help. Not sure. Also the Redskins suck. Can't I at least have a successful football team? No. Well **** you. Therapist is going to have her work cut out for her this week.

Been there, done that, lived that life before. It sucks. I hope things get better for you and sorry to hear about your girlfriend.

Everyone else has their **** together

Who says that? You? "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation". True story. Nobody has their **** together. Everyone is fighting to get by.

[Ben Kenobi]

I don't have great coping mechanisms. The best thing I can do to take my mind off **** is watch stupid, mindless television.

So do that. When dad passed on I went to visit my mom on the weekends and look after ****. Every Sunday night I had to go back to my little room in town and go to work, and I'd watch Cold Case and Without a Trace and then drive back in the late evening. So do that. Watch mindless tv for as long as you need to do it. That was my little routine of normalcy when nothing else was that way.

And for your girlfriend. **** her.

[Ben Kenobi]

With regards to a good time to start dating... life is never perfect. If he's standing on a ledge, well then yes... perhaps he should seek a more intensive style of treatment before female companionship. It just sounds like he's upset because his relationship ended. There's nothing wrong with finding comfort (physical or otherwise) in the arms of another.

Nope. But, he should do whatever feels right for him then. And again, **** that girl. Who gives a ****? Not us.

[Lorizael]

And for your girlfriend. **** her.

Yeah, that's the wrong piece of advice. She's an awesome person and I love her. We broke up because she wants children and I don't, and we'd been pretending that didn't matter for 4 years. The breakup was mutual and we're still friends.

[Sava]

Just a word of advice, BK is the last person you want to listen to... really... about anything... but especially about any issue involving a female.

[Ben Kenobi]

Yeah, that's the wrong piece of advice. She's an awesome person and I love her. We broke up because she wants children and I don't, and we'd been pretending that didn't matter for 4 years. The breakup was mutual and we're still friends.

I get that. Believe me I do. Better than you might expect. I think I even might have commented back then on how this was an issue and how ignoring it won't make it go away. Not sure. Would have to look back.

Anyways - I get that you still love her. But, you deserve happiness too. So **** her for now. Later, when you're better you can be friends and can worry about her being in your life again.

[Ben Kenobi]

BK is the last person you want to listen to... really... about anything... but especially about any issue involving a female.

She's moved on. He needs to do the same. Holding onto her isn't going to help him get what he wants.

[Ben Kenobi]

Oh Ben, Ben, Ben...

I truly feel pity for you...

Why?

[Lorizael]

Girl's not the issue, BK. The issue is me feeling like I don't have my **** together. I'm in a bad, bad mood, so I'm just going to politely tell you not to advise me to ditch one of the most important people in my life when I'm really ****ing depressed. If you want to continue down that avenue, I will become increasingly less polite.

[The Mad Monk]

I have to know someone for about six months before I feel comfortable enough to engage in physical contact.

Do you actually feel lonely, or do you feel you need companionship because its "normal"? Serious question.

[Ben Kenobi]

Girl's not the issue, BK. The issue is me feeling like I don't have my **** together. I'm in a bad, bad mood, so I'm just going to politely tell you not to advise me to ditch one of the most important people in my life when I'm really ****ing depressed. If you want to continue down that avenue, I will become increasingly less polite.

Yeah. You feel that 'everyone else has their **** together. No, no. They don't. Everyone other than Lorizael is cruising along and you just ****ed your life up. No.

Not the case. This is a lie and you need to do what was advised by Elok. To punch your brain in the balls because your brain is being dumb.

I would vastly prefer you take out your horrible mood over the internet on me rather than folks you actually care about. Deal?

Depression is a ****ing *******. Don't listen to it. It's goddamn horrible. And it ****ing lies.