Can't post without thread title.

[Ben Kenobi]

Turns out you can't just make one big change and expect everything else to be different, though.

One step at a time, Lorizael.

[Aeson]

Yeah, that's why I went back to school a year and a half ago. Turns out you can't just make one big change and expect everything else to be different, though.

It's not about making a change for change's sake. There are a billion changes I could make in my life that wouldn't help, most would probably make things worse. If I went back to college now for instance, it would depress the hell out of me.

It sounds like your problem is that you are stuck comparing yourself to some concept of "normal". You feel bad because you're "behind" other people ... where you perceive them to be ... where you think you "should" be ...

Not saying school isn't a good thing, just that it's not surprising that taking the "normal" path ... and doing so later than "normal" ... wouldn't be a cure-all for your case. It sounds more like a reinforcement of your issues.

[Lorizael]

Yes, well, the advice that I should make the correct life-altering change as opposed to the incorrect one isn't exactly helpful.

[Lorizael]

I mean seriously. I'm a month away from turning 28 and I've been depressed my entire ****ing life. You think I haven't heard the advice, "Well maybe you should try something different?" before? Jesus raping dogs. There's a reason I'm paying my therapist an outrageous sum of money each week. It's not so she can repeat whatever mindless platitudes happened to work for her. It's because she went to school for years and years to learn how to actually help people with the problems I have. It's because she doesn't tell me the same goddamn **** I've heard from everyone my entire life that doesn't do a goddamn thing to fix my problems. I'm really ****ing glad that you've pieced together a narrative that makes your most recent life choices seem correct, Aeson, but that doesn't help me one iota. ****ing christ.

[Lorizael]

(I've moved on to the angry stage of being really ****ing depressed. That's why I'm making oblique references to Tool lyrics in other threads.)

[Aeson]

Yes, well, the advice that I should make the correct life-altering change as opposed to the incorrect one isn't exactly helpful.

That wasn't advice. I was correcting you because you made a logical error in how you chose to respond to me.

I've moved on to the angry stage of being really ****ing depressed.

You should be paying me outrageous sums of money for my services.

[Aeson]

I mean seriously. I'm a month away from turning 28 and I've been depressed my entire ****ing life. You think I haven't heard the advice, "Well maybe you should try something different?" before? Jesus raping dogs. There's a reason I'm paying my therapist an outrageous sum of money each week. It's not so she can repeat whatever mindless platitudes happened to work for her. It's because she went to school for years and years to learn how to actually help people with the problems I have. It's because she doesn't tell me the same goddamn **** I've heard from everyone my entire life that doesn't do a goddamn thing to fix my problems. I'm really ****ing glad that you've pieced together a narrative that makes your most recent life choices seem correct, Aeson, but that doesn't help me one iota. ****ing christ.

Yes, all that money spent seems to have fixed all your problems. Congrats

[Lorizael]

I'm still employed and still going to school, despite being really ****ing depressed. In the past, I would have given up long before now. So yeah, she has helped me considerably. Congratulations on knowing **** all about my life but having opinions about it anyway.

[Aeson]

I know you come to an internet forum to whine about how awful it all is and then get mad at anyone who gives you advice. That's all that really matters to me.

[Lorizael]

That wasn't advice. I was correcting you because you made a logical error in how you chose to respond to me.

Oh really? What logical error did I make? Do tell.

[Lorizael]

I know you come to an internet forum to whine about how awful it all is and then get mad at anyone who gives you advice. That's all that really matters to me.

Actually, I got mad at you and BK only. I thanked everyone else.

[Aeson]

That's because they all gave you the pity you were looking for, rather than the asskicking you deserve (and maybe need)

[Lorizael]

No, BK gave me pity, too, but he also suggested I remove one of my only support structures, which is a stupid suggestion. You suggested I make the correct change to my life, which is a useless suggestion.

[Aeson]

You suggested I make the correct change to my life, which is a useless suggestion.

No, I didn't suggest a correct change. I suggested that you need to change something specific that you're doing now to something else. (Since you've forgotten, I suggest that you stop trying to be or caring about being normal.) I can't tell you what else you should change to, because only you could possibly know that. And probably you don't even know that ... to figure it out will take taking some risks and trying.

Then when you responded with "but I already changed X", I explained to you why it's rather unsuprising that that specific change wouldn't have helped you. Much like if you went and slammed your finger in the door, I wouldn't expect that to make your finger feel any better.

Of course it's all useless to you at this point, since you just want to whine and then lash out at people. But then again, I'm here for you to lash out at, so it's quite helpful, isn't it?

[Lorizael]

You're missing the fact that going back to school did help me. It just didn't immediately make everything better. I used to be like this all the time, as opposed to only in the aftermath of breakup-induced emotional heartache combined with a lack of the right drugs.