Let's make a deal!

[Aeson]

A) it was a joke
B) it was a joke
C) it's loaded because there were some home invasion & robberies in my neighborhood recently
D) a 20-gauge slug would kill a goat quite humanely
E) IT WAS A JOKE

A, B, E) One of the signs of being a sociopath is to think of killing helpless victims as some sort of joke.
C) Still a dumb idea. Please don't ever have kids. (Pun intended too )
D) Your gun isn't loaded with a slug, and if the inaccuracy of your statements is any indication, you'd probably take 10 shots just to put the poor beast out of it's misery ... that is if you didn't happen to shoot and incapacitate yourself at some point in the process.
F) Shooting and killing a goat just because you won it on a gameshow isn't "humane" regardless of what ammunition you shoot it with

[Ben Kenobi]

Please don't teach this to your students this because it will confuse any of them with English skills and probably lead to them developing "borderline personality disorder" which will cause them to have premarital sex and/or listen to loud music.

What, the Oxford comma? My position is that if there's ambiguity, chances are you need to rewrite the sentence.

In any case.

There are three doors. You pick one. Behind one of the three doors is a car. Behind two of the three doors is a goat. You have chosen door number one.

I open door number three and reveal that door number 3 has a goat. Do you stick with door number 1 or switch?

[regexcellent]

How many shots it would take is dependent on the distance, and while it is true that slugs are not super accurate, hitting a small goat with a hollow point slug in a place where it will die very quickly isn't all that hard. And if it's tame, then all I have to do is throw potato chips on the ground and shoot it when it walks right up next to me.

[SlowwHand]

That's just cruel. This goat has been waiting for potato chips and when you finally pass them around, he gets blasted? That's terrible.

[Aeson]

What, the Oxford comma? My position is that if there's ambiguity, chances are you need to rewrite the sentence.

No ... the "or". And what is wrong with you? I gave you a perfectly good out (which would have allowed you to accept having owned HC and reg), and you just threw it away.

There are three doors. You pick one. Behind one of the three doors is a car. Behind two of the three doors is a goat. You have chosen door number one.

I open door number three and reveal that door number 3 has a goat. Do you stick with door number 1 or switch?

As I picked door one, which you have given is the door with the car, I will stick to my choice and enjoy the car. Thank you. My only regret is this would mean the goats would remain in your custody and I wouldn't wish that on any creature.

[Aeson]

That's just cruel. This goat has been waiting for potato chips and when you finally pass them around, he gets blasted? That's terrible.

QFT.

Not to mention he's wantonly wasting food that starving kids in Africa would love to have.

[Ben Kenobi]

the "or". And what is wrong with you? I gave you a perfectly good out (which would have allowed you to accept having owned HC and reg), and you just threw it away.

Hrm? I'm thinking I'm perfectly Ok. I don't have to always be right you know.

[Aeson]

How many shots it would take is dependent on the distance, and while it is true that slugs are not super accurate, hitting a small goat with a hollow point slug in a place where it will die very quickly isn't all that hard. And if it's tame, then all I have to do is throw potato chips on the ground and shoot it when it walks right up next to me.

My money is on the goat. This is how it would go:

You take the goat out to the parking lot. Since you can't take the goat on the bus home (or in your car if you happen to have one), you decide to do the deed then and there. (Good thing there's been muggings near the studio, so you brought your shotgun to the show for protection.)

Ydrop your potato chips on the concrete parking lot. The oils in the chips make the surface of the concrete slightly more slippery. The goat doesn't realize this and is unaccustomed to walking on concrete in general, and slips as he approaches the tasty treat. That just happens to be the same moment you pull the trigger, and instead of a clean kill you end up grazing the hind-quarters of the goat. You quickly pump another round into the chamber. After a brief moment, the goat, enraged by the wound rams into your groin, causing you to double over in pain. This results in the muzzle of the shotgun pointing straight down at the concrete, and you accidentally discharge. Bits of concrete fly up into your eyes, blinding you. Shocked and blinded, you stumble out into traffic and are run over by a bus.

The goat feasts on your potato chips and is sent to Texas where Slowwhand will nurse it back to health.

[SlowwHand]

Sounds about right.

[regexcellent]

Goats are too sure-footed to slip on the oil of a ****ing potato chip on asphalt.

[Aeson]

Goats are too sure-footed to slip on the oil of a ****ing potato chip on asphalt.

And you have what experience with shooting goats on greasy concrete? Or goats in general? (Please pay attention. It was concrete, not asphalt. These are the sorts of details that caused you to be wrong with the original question.) I walk by them all the time, and even tied up I'll bet you couldn't cleanly shoot one with a shotgun very often.

Sure, your average wild mountain goat would just bull you over and then scale the facade of the building to safety as you blasted away ... with your shotgun. But this is a domesticated animal that's been stuck in a cage behind BK's door for who knows how long it took to get a contestant to agree to play the pointless show. He's probably been poorly fed and is traumatized from the experience. This is it's first view of the open sky in months or years. Now he's facing a death sentence from a sociopath who thinks such wanton slaughter iss just a joke. A goat under such circumstances is unlikely to behave in a predictable manner.

[Ben Kenobi]

But this is a domesticated animal that's been stuck in a cage behind BK's door for who knows how long it took to get a contestant to agree to play the pointless show. He's probably been poorly fed.

I'm surprised the crack isn't about the car being offered. Also inadvertantly "too soon", but you had no way of knowing this.

[SlowwHand]

So, do we have a deal?

[Aeson]

I'm surprised the crack isn't about the car being offered.

It woudl be difficult to get the car through the door. But that aside, I have no doubt that reg possesses the ability to shoot a parked car with a shotgun ... and I wouldn't find such a thing inhumane either if it were empty.

Also inadvertantly "too soon", but you had no way of knowing this.

Did you recently lose a goat? My apologies and condolences if so ...

[Ben Kenobi]

Did you recently lose a goat? My apologies and condolences if so ...

I made the right decision but there's always consequences to your decisions and I'm dealing with those atm.