Soft drinks thread.

[Al B. Sure!]

Ozzy, I'm holier than thou

I haven't had alcohol ever

I can't remember the last time I had coffee

I never drink soda

Never even touched a cigarette

I've never even tried any illegal drug

I never eat pastries, pies, or cake as a civilian (there is cake in boot camp )

I am a virgin

I have never been sexually pleasured in any way by a woman

I have never seen a fully naked woman before in person

I have kissed a girl with tongue on two occasions in my life

I'm single

And I'm 25

Beat that

[Al B. Sure!]

Ben, with your deep understanding of Scripture... could I be... you know, the Son of God?

[SlowwHand]

In Philadelphia? Is this some kind of joke? Demon spawn of Hell, maybe.

[Al B. Sure!]

Why not? It's the City of Brotherly Love... just like what Jesus taught!

[Ben Kenobi]

Albert:

You're 25? Ok.

I haven't had alcohol ever

Got smashed on my 19th birthday.

I can't remember the last time I had coffee

Not big on coffee, last month was about the second or third time in my life.

I never drink soda

I'm quite fond of soda.

I never eat pastries, pies, or cake as a civilian (there is cake in boot camp )

I'm a pie fan, might have pies at christmas easter, my birthday. Special occasions.

I am a virgin

Same.

I have never been sexually pleasured in any way by a woman

I have never seen a fully naked woman before in person

I have kissed a girl with tongue on two occasions in my life

You are older now then when I got to do all these things.

[Ben Kenobi]

Ben, with your deep understanding of Scripture... could I be... you know, the Son of God?

No. The Son of God liked getting smashed and spending time with prostitutes. He went to all the biggest parties.

Albert, I guess this is where we part company. It's not that I wouldn't love or enjoy sex or being with a woman, it's that I want it to be with the right one. Sex isn't bad or evil, and neither is our body. Same with drinking. I enjoy drinking, dancing, you name it. The only thing that Christians are told to do is to use these things in a constructive fashion.

[Al B. Sure!]

Ben:

If you've been sexually pleasured by a woman, you're not a virgin. Shouldn't all the 'jobs be considered sexual acts and therefore, mean you're not a virgin?

[Al B. Sure!]

No. The Son of God liked getting smashed and spending time with prostitutes. He went to all the biggest parties.

Umm... a big fat check on that one.

[Ben Kenobi]

If you've been sexually pleasured by a woman, you're not a virgin. Shouldn't all the 'jobs be considered sexual acts and therefore, mean you're not a virgin?

No. Sex is sex. I'm not sure exactly what you mean by 'sexually pleasured'.

You have to recall that I haven't always been a Christian. I have to be honest.

[Al B. Sure!]

were you touched by a woman in a way to generate an ejaculation?

[Ben Kenobi]

I'll stick with your earlier definition. Put it this way, she wouldn't have had to touch me to do all that.

[Solomwi]

Jeez, you bunch of poofs. You haven't lived until you've gotten a hummer from a hooker while kicked back with a fine scotch in one hand, a cigar in the other, a nice plate of blow by your side, and a coffee enema running through your bowels.

[Dinner]

Now that's living.

[Krill]

Now that's living.

And about 15 minutes later it's called dying.

[Solomwi]

But what a glorious 15 minutes it is.