Women - Pretentious or Prudish?

[Ben Kenobi]

You need different women friends....

[David Floyd]

Are you kidding me? Women worry non-stop about what other people think about them!

Why do you think, for example, they doll up to go down to the local restaurant bar, with their boyfriend, to have a beer? What, they're trying to impress someone? Yes, they "just want to look good", but I'm telling you, and I've had women - both friends and SOs - tell me or imply to me that it's because they want other people to think they look good.

If I only know women from Sex and the City, you must only know women from Victorian England

[David Floyd]

BK, maybe, but I don't think the women I date or know are atypical - again, I don't date strippers or Vegas cocktail waitresses.

[Nikolai]

Let's see... What about awaiting our resident females to determine what women worry or worry not for? I doubt either of us here can do anything more than qualified guesses, at best.

[David Floyd]

Obviously, but I was just looking to get different perspectives, preferably derived from experience.

[Imran Siddiqui]

And let's be honest here. As men, there are women you just want to screw and women you want to have a relationship with. Women who are promiscuous gain the reputation as a "woman you just want to screw". So they have to protect their reputation so that they are seen as relationship material.

I'm not entirely sure that women are as concerned with how many women the man has slept with in the past as men are in the context of a relationship (one merely has to watch that memorable scene in "Clerks" showing that ).

[David Floyd]

That's actually a good point - I'd have to say that most women who are prone to sleeping around ALSO want to have a relationship, whereas many guys JUST want to sleep around.

As for the Clerks reference, it sort of makes my point - he'd slept with 12 girls, and she thought that was a huge deal, because she'd only slept with 4. Oh, she also blew 37 guys (in a row?? ), but that wasn't a big deal. Realistically, she was just as big of a "slut" was he was, and they were both being unreasonable being upset about it.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Yes, but she got over it fairly quickly, while he really couldn't... well, until it was too late.

And that's the other thing. Men having a lot of sexual partners and the woman wants to make sure he's not just a player (ie, say the right things for a relationship and drop them whenever something better/hotter comes along). In the Clerks context, I think she thought about it, realized he wasn't like that and got over it.

[Imran Siddiqui]

I'd have to say that most women who are prone to sleeping around ALSO want to have a relationship, whereas many guys JUST want to sleep around.

I'd say that eventually most guys also want to have a relationship... however, there are definitely periods of time (like late teens/early 20s) when a good number of men are just looking for the sex. But they usually grow out of it.

[David Floyd]

True. Guys can be/are pretty jealous and unreasonable also. I'm sure I've acted that way before, as have most of us.

Although, the last serious relationship I had, she was much more unreasonable than I was. Considering the fact that a)we met by meeting randomly at a bar, getting ****-faced, and going home together, b)early in the relationship I caught her making out with one of her work colleagues at a happy hour, and c)she had a problem with drinking to the extent that she would go out alone and get wasted some nights when I had to work late and had demonstrated a lack of ability to make good decisions in that context, her getting incredibly pissed off at me and almost ending the relationship over a Myspace picture of me, at a party, with a female friend having jumped on my back, was pretty damn unreasonable.

I'm not bitter about it though

Actually, I'm not, it just still, to this day, boggles my mind.

[David Floyd]

I'd say that eventually most guys also want to have a relationship... however, there are definitely periods of time (like late teens/early 20s) when a good number of men are just looking for the sex. But they usually grow out of it.

Oh, I agree. For a good chunk of my 20s - basically, 22-25, with a 9 month exception (relationship) thrown in there - I was just looking for sex. Now, although I'm certainly not opposed to the idea, I'd also be happy to meet someone I could have a relationship with.

[Lancer]

David Floyd, I've been out of action for a while and in the Philippines where women aren't like that so I don't know I guess.

[Nikolai]

I'm 22 and if looking for a relationship. I don't want sex without the longterm commitment in a marriage.

[David Floyd]

Lancer - I don't doubt that there's definitely a cultural difference.

Nikolai - Fair enough. That's probably why we have different perspectives on this.

[Winston]

Someone once said that sex is like a universal joke where women don't get the punchline. But they laugh all the same.