Should I Dump This Girl?

[Flubber]

Originally posted by senowen

For instance, the girl once told me, in the middle of a casual conversation that a guy I knew had raped her. I was shocked, but asked for details nevertheless. Turns out that while they were both drunk he told her that she should give him oral sex. She thought it was a bad joke and laughed. He then said he was serious. She did it even though she didn't want to. He didn't force her, grab her, or threaten her. While the guy certainly is a ******* (I already thought he was an ******* before) I don't think this was rape. I later worked with an ex-boyfriend (dated before the incident) of hers. Apparently she was a complete psycho and drama queen.

That doesn't sound like a rape . I'm sure some would say that she felt forced and there was some sort of implied threat but on the facts as you relate them, its just wasn't there. Regrets before or after don't qualify. To me , its simple. It should be obvious there is no willing consent or an inability to give that consent

[senowen]

Originally posted by Flubber

That doesn't sound like a rape . I'm sure some would say that she felt forced and there was some sort of implied threat but on the facts as you relate them, its just wasn't there. Regrets before or after don't qualify. To me , its simple. It should be obvious there is no willing consent or an inability to give that consent

That's the point. I don't think either colloquially or legally, that this could be considered rape. I don't think its forced sodomy (legally, oral sex is sodomy) either. I also don't think it was reasonable for this girl to be so tramatized by it or call it rape. Yeah, some a-hole talked you into doing something you didn't want to do while you were drunk and now you really think it was a bad idea and you feel foolish and used. Ok, I get it. The guy deserves to be called out, (he probably said it in his Marine Corps voice.) But I didn't think the girl should have labeled him a rapist.

[Flubber]

IN her case if she was drunk she may have been too incapacitated to give consent but then he was drunk too. If two people get drunk and "get stupid", its tough for me to call one of them a rapist in the absence of any force or threat

[senowen]

Originally posted by Flubber
IN her case if she was drunk she may have been too incapacitated to give consent but then he was drunk too. If two people get drunk and "get stupid", its tough for me to call one of them a rapist in the absence of any force or threat

This raises an interesting question. If a girl is drunk, performs a sex act on a man, i.e. gives him oral sex, or has intercourse with him while she is on top, without any physical threat or any kind of force, can there really be a lack of consent in such a situation? If she's the one performing the act, without the guy forcing her to perform, how can being drunk be a viable negation of consent in such a situation?

[Gibsie]

On the question, to answer it seriously, it might be a necessity. In my case, I went out with a girl who told me she had been raped by an ex of hers... she also told me she might still love him, and subsequently treated me like crap and cheated on me a little (not with him).

So, if the girl in question has been royally messed up in the head from her experience (And that goes for any experience, not just rape), and you think she's going to be batsh1t insane - as are many women - and don't think that you'll be able to help her work through it - and given that you are quite insane yourself, wiglaf, it's unlikely you'll do her any good - you probably should do you both a favour and dump her.

[Dis]

how could you cheat on you a little? She either did, or didn't.

[Jon Miller]

She is dating you? Yaeh, give her a break and dump her.

JM

[Spiffor]

Re: Should I Dump This Girl?

Originally posted by Wiglaf
If a girl tells you she is raped, do you dump her?

I don't think it would even cross my mind.

[Dis]

Re: Re: Should I Dump This Girl?

Originally posted by Spiffor

I don't think it would even cross my mind.

nor would it for most sane people.

[BlackCat]

Why hurting her even more than she already is ? Dump her and let her find a decent guy.

Seriously, a Gibsie girl could be a problem, but if she just happens to be raped and want to be clear about it, give it a chance - she may need it.

[BlackCat]

Re: Re: Re: Should I Dump This Girl?

Originally posted by Dis


nor would it for most sane people.

Ehrr, you guys are aware of the fact that it's Wiglaf that has this problem ? We must be careful so the girl may have a chance to survive.

[Dis]

the real question is whether he should hump this girl. or more importantly, should I hump this girl when he dumps her.

[BlackCat]

Dis, I know that you have a preference for dead deers etc, but I'm still a bit pissed off by the fact that my sister was raped some twenty years ago and that I don't live in the same city so I can beat the **** out of him.

[Darius871]

Originally posted by Dis
did you explain to her how having 2 handguns was no more useful than having one?

Oh come on, which of these do you think would scare a rapist more?

or ?

[Bosh]

Is she fat?