Should I Dump This Girl?

[Wiglaf]

So a girl I am dating, she is something new for me, is sort of nice but I wonder sometimes. She then today dropped a bombshell, telling me she was raped at age 16. Now...what are the odds of that? Most people who grow up in suburbs don't get raped. More to the point, is this a common tactic to get sympathy?

If a girl tells you she is raped, do you dump her?

[Wiglaf]

Keep in mind, I dont want absolute yes or no's, I didn't ask a yes/no question, I am just thinking what gut reactions to this are

She wasn't in tears or anything so I am nervous

[SlowwHand]

No, you don't dump her because she was raped.

[Dinner]

Don't dump her just because she was honest with you but do watch carefully for signs of emotional damage. The last girl I dated was sexually molested by her father as a child and she had all sorts of unresolved psychological issues because of it. In retrospect I should have seen the writing on the wall much faster but she was simply avoiding dealing with the issues and getting proper counciling where as another person might have dealt with it and moved on. Find out if she's moved on.

[Dis]

the trolling continues. most girls in the suburbs don't get raped. I'm not one of those people that believe the 25% number. But it's safe to say a large number of women get raped. Doesn't matter where they are.

[SlowwHand]

Yeah. In the country only dead deer get raped.

[Flubber]

Nope-- If you had no plans to dump her before, why would you dump her now? Flip side is that even if you planned to dump her, news like this ranks at least as high as Christmas or a her sibling's wedding as reasons why you delay the dumping.

I dated one woman that had been raped. The first time she was pretty matter of fact about it-- no tears or anything. A few weeks later she brought out her file of clippings from her attacker's trial and even then no tears

They don't necessarily all cry. She did say it would never happen to her again one time she showed me her two handguns

[Dis]

I've had women friends that try to elicit the sympathy attention. So many of them go on and on about how their husbands and boyfriends abused them. I'm never sure what to believe. I just try to be there for them. I try not to be too distrusting .

But in truth, I really don't believe the many tales of abuse. Except maybe the case of my arabic friend. She was put into an arranged marriage in Saudi Arabia. But even there, there's the possibility that she's lying. Maybe things aren't as bad in Saudia Arabia for women as they say. . In case you guys haven't figured it out, it's why I'm so against the culture over there, and about things like veils. And yes, she says wearing all that black in the middle of the desert is very ****ing hot. It makes your face all sweaty. Veils alone are torture.

[Dis]

Originally posted by Flubber
Nope-- If you had no plans to dump her before, why would you dump her now? Flip side is that even if you planned to dump her, news like this ranks at least as high as Christmas or a her sibling's wedding as reasons why you delay the dumping.

I dated one woman that had been raped. The first time she was pretty matter of fact about it-- no tears or anything. A few weeks later she brought out her file of clippings from her attacker's trial and even then no tears

They don't necessarily all cry. She did say it would never happen to her again one time she showed me her two handguns

did you explain to her how having 2 handguns was no more useful than having one?

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Dis
I've had women friends that try to elicit the sympathy attention. So many of them go on and on about how their husbands and boyfriends abused them. I'm never sure what to believe. I just try to be there for them. I try not to be too distrusting .

No its probably usually true.


But I wonder are you perhaps attacting a certain type of woman-- perhaps the kind that look to you as a "safe" companion in betweenn the bad boys that they always seem to go back to.

I know/ recall very little about you so I don't know if that would fit you or not.

[Drogue]

Re: Should I Dump This Girl?

Originally posted by Wiglaf
Now...what are the odds of that?

Probably higher than the odds of telling you that she was raped in order to get sympathy.

Originally posted by Wiglaf
More to the point, is this a common tactic to get sympathy?

No. It's not a common thing to say at all.

Originally posted by Wiglaf
If a girl tells you she is raped, do you dump her?

It depends - does it freak you out? To be honest, if you think she's lying, that's a bad sign for a start. However if you like her, and her having been raped doesn't freak you out, there's no reason to break up with her.

[Kuciwalker]

Re: Should I Dump This Girl?

Originally posted by Wiglaf
So a girl I am dating, she is something new for me, is sort of nice but I wonder sometimes. She then today dropped a bombshell, telling me she was raped at age 16. Now...what are the odds of that? Most people who grow up in suburbs don't get raped. More to the point, is this a common tactic to get sympathy?

If a girl tells you she is raped, do you dump her?

You are a complete *******

[Dis]

Originally posted by Flubber


No its probably usually true.


But I wonder are you perhaps attacting a certain type of woman-- perhaps the kind that look to you as a "safe" companion in betweenn the bad boys that they always seem to go back to.

I know/ recall very little about you so I don't know if that would fit you or not.

Yeah I know. I'm the type of nice guy women look to cry on my shoulder. Which is all well and good. I am there for women whenever they need me. But it would be nice to find a woman who would like to do more than just cry on my shoulder.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Dis


did you explain to her how having 2 handguns was no more useful than having one?

Actually she said she kept them in different places in her apartment-- I was never sure where ( I actually think she carried the smaller one with her -- it would actually have been illegal for her to do so but I think that is what she did )

When she showed me she had them out as she was just back from the gun range. She figured they were no good to her if she didn't know how to use them

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Dis


Yeah I know. I'm the type of nice guy women look to cry on my shoulder. Which is all well and good. I am there for women whenever they need me. But it would be nice to find a woman who would like to do more than just cry on my shoulder.

Yup sounds like you are the "friend"-- sucks sometimes