Should I Dump This Girl?

[DaShi]

No, you don't dump her, because you're lucky to have a girl.

[Pekka]

No, you shouldn't dump her just becase she was raped.

If she is one of those who attach to you in these sick ways, like a psycho girl, dump her with the next argument and deny that it had anything to do with her bringing up the rape.

But if she was just being honest, and that's all... no reason to dump her. You might consider taking a dump on her chest though. Or buy one of those glass tables.

[Proteus_MST]

It would be a pretty poor reason to dump a girl just because she trusts you enough to tell you about the bad things in her life.

At least if it is the truth and she doesn´t tell you a fabricated story just to manipulate you

[Dis]

Originally posted by Flubber


Yup sounds like you are the "friend"-- sucks sometimes

actually it never sucks.

[Dis]

Originally posted by Pekka
No, you shouldn't dump her just becase she was raped.

If she is one of those who attach to you in these sick ways, like a psycho girl, dump her with the next argument and deny that it had anything to do with her bringing up the rape.

But if she was just being honest, and that's all... no reason to dump her. You might consider taking a dump on her chest though. Or buy one of those glass tables.

wtf Pekka?

[DaShi]

This reminds me of when I dumped this girl. In order to try to win me back she told me about how messed up her life was and how she needed therapy and medications to get over what her last boyfriend (no, not me ) did to her. All I could think was, "These are reasons for me to want to stay with her?" Anyway, she eventually hooked up with some French guy and finally stopped stalking me.

[Ned]

Originally posted by Proteus_MST
It would be a pretty poor reason to dump a girl just because she trusts you enough to tell you about the bad things in her life.

At least if it is the truth and she doesn´t tell you a fabricated story just to manipulate you

[Flubber]

Originally posted by DaShi
This reminds me of when I dumped this girl. In order to try to win me back she told me about how messed up her life was and how she needed therapy and medications to get over what her last boyfriend (no, not me ) did to her. All I could think was, "These are reasons for me to want to stay with her?" Anyway, she eventually hooked up with some French guy and finally stopped stalking me.

I never wanted to hear about past boyfriends and I shared very little about past girlfriends. All the past stuff is irrelevant . As for a guy, you know that the girl will tell you that

1. you are best (and biggest) she ever had
2. she never faked with you

etc etc. I think girls are trained at age 12 to repeat these things. Why ask or care about her past relationships? If she says you are the best guy ever , it could be a platitude and you really don't want to hear anything else

[Wiglaf]

it just seems manipulative to say "I was RAPED" so early in a relationship

seems dishonest...

And IMO most rapes occur not in the suburbs.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Dis


actually it never sucks.

Condolences man.


Actually if you have a girl you want more with than just friends, be assertive early on

Say something like "you are so cute I have to kiss you right now" and then kiss her like you mean it.

If she responds you are golden . . . If she doesn't you were probably never in the game.


Oh and for years I was one fo the guys that always thought I was "striking out" when actually I was never coming to bat. I suspect you are much the same

[senowen]

The problem with the word "rape" is that it is remarkably imprecise. Ok, obviously she was forced to have sex against her will. This is tramatic enough. But, there are many ways of being raped, some of which I personally believe is much more tramatic than others. I mean, if she was getting hot and heavy with her boyfriend at the time and he inserted without her permission, that's rape. Was she drunk and passed out and her boyfriend took her virginity even though she didn't want to give it up. Yeah, that's terrible and tramatic, and definitely consistutes "rape." But, I think it is unfortunately fairly common and most women that it happens to get over it. Many probably don't think of it even as "rape."
But, was she violently raped by some stranger at gunpoint. Was she tied down and raped by a family member. I don't think many women get over such an event very easily, if ever.
If you like this woman, you need to find out what the facts are. If she's horribly emotionally scarred, you might have a tough road in the future. Also, her revealing the facts might give you a hint if she's ok or not.

For instance, the girl once told me, in the middle of a casual conversation that a guy I knew had raped her. I was shocked, but asked for details nevertheless. Turns out that while they were both drunk he told her that she should give him oral sex. She thought it was a bad joke and laughed. He then said he was serious. She did it even though she didn't want to. He didn't force her, grab her, or threaten her. While the guy certainly is a ******* (I already thought he was an ******* before) I don't think this was rape. I later worked with an ex-boyfriend (dated before the incident) of hers. Apparently she was a complete psycho and drama queen.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Wiglaf
it just seems manipulative to say "I was RAPED" so early in a relationship

Manipulative ?? I find that tough to get. She is opening up about one of the most important things that have ever happened to her. Maybe she got rejected later on by guys when she told them so she just wants it out there early so she doesn't wate her time if you run.

Originally posted by Wiglaf

seems dishonest...

I again don't get that. Either you trust this girl somewhat or you don't. If you think she is just generally a liar -- thats a different thing but I cannot see much benefit to her of this type of lie. Chances are at least half the guys run-- Perhaps its a lie and she ios trying to get rid of YOU

Originally posted by Wiglaf


And IMO most rapes occur not in the suburbs.

Huh-- I don't have a statistical breakdown but the number in the burbs is certainly "far too many" and definitely enough that it is entirely possible and even probable that her story is true

[Proteus_MST]

Originally posted by Wiglaf
it just seems manipulative to say "I was RAPED" so early in a relationship

seems dishonest...

And IMO most rapes occur not in the suburbs.

I don´t see any contradictions.

Even if most rapes don´t occur in the suburbs,
a certain percentage will take place there.
And there is always a chance to encounter a girl who went through such a situation.

Imagine someone tells you that he has won a million in the state lottery. Would you instantly dismiss his story as false just because the chances of winning the state lottery are really really small?

[Spec]

Originally posted by Flubber
Oh and for years I was one fo the guys that always thought I was "striking out" when actually I was never coming to bat. I suspect you are much the same

Spec.

[Darius871]

Re: Should I Dump This Girl?

Originally posted by Wiglaf
So a girl I am dating, she is something new for me, is sort of nice but I wonder sometimes. She then today dropped a bombshell, telling me she was raped at age 16. Now...what are the odds of that? Most people who grow up in suburbs don't get raped. More to the point, is this a common tactic to get sympathy?

If a girl tells you she is raped, do you dump her?

Well it depends... has she been getting 'porky' like the last one?