My problem with porn (need some advice)

[Terra Nullius]

You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Matthew 5:27 - 30

It surprises me that none of our Christitubbies has brought this up.

[KrazyHorse]

Originally posted by Jon Miller
I can see why women feel threatened when: (and not all porn does this, but some does)

It demeans women (see gagging porn for example)
It is a serious kink (animal, bdsm, etc)
It is illegal (some kinks, pedo)
It is coercive.. (You don't get me off anymore, but this kink does.. so if you want to make me happy you would do that)

Also, I know a lot of guys (myself included) with a porn addiction.

Jon Miller

How about: I don't want her to get turned on by watching other guys, so I return the favour?

Man, you kids today are way too open.

Good for you if your partner has no jealous bones in their body, but for all this "it's only fantasy" bull**** you're still watching some other woman's tits bouncing around and getting turned on by it. You're already halfway to a ****ing open relationship if that's fine with you. Like I said, great, but it's not for me.

[MRT144]

krazyhorse is a puritan.

and i was gonna say that her problem exceeds the scope of any experience i have or my friends do.

[Jon Miller]

Originally posted by KrazyHorse


How about: I don't want her to get turned on by watching other guys, so I return the favour?

Man, you kids today are way too open.

Good for you if your partner has no jealous bones in their body, but for all this "it's only fantasy" bull**** you're still watching some other woman's tits bouncing around and getting turned on by it. You're already halfway to a ****ing open relationship if that's fine with you. Like I said, great, but it's not for me.

I agree...

I am just giving some common, and very obvious, reasons why anyone would feel threatened. (by a lot of porn that men watch)

Jon Miller

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by alva

Why would you masturbate when you have the real thing?

So each time, you are in the mood but she isn't, you grab here by her hair, push her back into your cave and do her?
Mister Romantic!!!!

*slaps alva around with a red herring

Now go cut down the tallest tree in the forest with this!

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by shellym
...but i also cannot put up with some of the stuff he has looked at in the past (animals and stuff)...

Yikes. With animals? He needs to see a pro.

[MRT144]

thats the thing that pushed this beyond anything ive dealt with

[yin26]

Originally posted by KrazyHorse
"it's only fantasy" bull**** you're still watching some other woman's tits bouncing around and getting turned on by it. You're already halfway to a ****ing open relationship if that's fine with you. Like I said, great, but it's not for me.

Sorry, man, I guess my brain just works that way. I'm not saying that's any better or worse than what a fantasy seems to do to you and others, but fantasy doesn't bring me closer to an open relationship.

[MRT144]

reading comic books leads to murder!

[KrazyHorse]

Originally posted by MRT144
krazyhorse is a puritan.

Horse****, son. If you only knew...

a) I get jealous when I think of my woman thinking of somebody else, so I wouldn't want her to watch porn, eye**** random guys on the street, flirt heavily etc.

b) I don't mind returning the favour.

Monogamy isn't just about the actual physical act to me. Knowing that my girlfriend was fantasising about another man would open up a lot of pretty base instincts in me that I don't want to have to worry about. I really don't see what the big deal is in refraining from that. It's not very difficult.

Yin: I didn't say that you were necessarily closer to carrying through on an open relationship. I just mean that a lot of the problems I see coming from an open relationship (problems that I would have, that is) are also brought about (though to a lesser degree) by a freely acknowledged fantasy life involving other people.

If you're less sexually jealous or more motivated toward stimulation by other women than I am and your wife is also, then good for you. Have fun. I just know that it's not right to give the impression that that's the only healthy way to live, that this girl's man has some sort of natural right to pornography, and that her dissatisfaction with his viewing pornography can only be justified if it crosses certain boundaries that you've decided on. If his viewing pornography at all makes her uncomfortable, jealous etc., it is hardly an unnatural or abnormal reaction. The fact that her husband is so immune to her unhappiness that he would continue to view pornography after she'd expressed that makes me think that he's a total dick.

[Jon Miller]

Originally posted by KrazyHorse

The fact that her husband is so immune to her unhappiness that he would continue to view pornography after she'd expressed that makes me think that he's a total dick.

And this is my point which I was (trying to) making earlier in the thread.

Fantasy vs. Reality, Reality should win every time... (the Real Person (also a point) should have priority)

Jon Miller

[KrazyHorse]

I know you're agreeing with me, Jon. I just used your post as a jumping-off point. I didn't mean to imply that the arguments I quoted were wrong, just that they aren't necessarily my primary concern on this subject.

[Jon Miller]

The sad thing is that I want to look at porn right now

Addictions suck.

Jon Miller

[KrazyHorse]

I freely admit that I've watched porn in the past. My girlfriend knows all about it. There's nothing necessarily wrong in watching porn. Though if you feel guilty about it then it might be better to stop.

[MRT144]

Originally posted by KrazyHorse
The fact that her husband is so immune to her unhappiness that he would continue to view pornography after she'd expressed that makes me think that he's a total dick.

it isnt neccesarily porn but rather being an insensitive person thats the problem. and its her fault for not putting down boundries and sticking to repercussions.

anyway this thread makes me feel bad because 1. i havent had reality in 3 months and I havent watched porn in 2 months. Im on some kind of terrible downward sexuality spiral.