Making the friend-to-girlfriend conversion

[Ari Rahikkala]

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/ladderintro.html will enlighten you on how hard the leap will be...

[Felch]

Just tell her. Go up to her, this is hard to do, and say what you like about her (if tits or ass, say it's her "eyes"), and leave it at that.

The more casually you put it, the more conversational it feels, the better she'll take it. Just put the idea in her head that you're interested in her, and let her respond in due course. You have to be patient, since she is a friend, but if she likes you, she'll say something nice about you. And that's when you have your chance.

[Bereta_Eder]

Just kiss her

[Bereta_Eder]

ooops you're 14.

Sweat talk to her

[Drake Tungsten]

Ari, that is the greatest website I have ever seen. It's insightfulness has hurt my brain. Thank you...

[MattyBoy]

Ari,
That is a brilliant link.
A lot of truth in that theory.

[Bereta_Eder]

I respectfully disagree.

There are a ton of parameters that screw up that ladder system in real life IMO.

What if "high on the ladder of Jane" Bob discovers that jane and him have so much in common makes him feel good, connect with eachother etc and they get together?

Happens.

There are many astathmitoi paragontes


plus this is nothing but the typical theory of a guy who's bitter.


and here's what he writes in his site

Criticism:You're just bitter.
Answer:Maybe I am. But ladder theory made me that way, my bitterness did not make ladder theory. Attack the theory, not the person behind it. And why does everyone always say I'm bitter just because 99.999% of chicks are *****es?

right. sorry to bust your admiration for that site. I just dont agree with it

[Drake Tungsten]

What if "high on the ladder of Jane" Bob discovers that jane and him have so much in common makes him feel good, connect with eachother etc and they get together?

First of all, Jane and Bob were together. Bob had all the power in the relationship because of the disparity between their ladder rankings.

In your scenario, Jane would move up on Bob's ladder. Bob would stick with her until he found someone better...

[Bereta_Eder]

Not exactly since in that theory the primary quality that puts jane so down in bob's ladder is looks. And the main quality that puts Bob so high in Jane's ladder is money. (which BTW is largely wrong as a critiria - and mainly comes from poor sods that can't get laid)

However unexpected creation of funny fuzzy feelings between the two, which the ladder doesnt take into account at all, can screw up the entire system and there's no provision for them in that theory.

[Drake Tungsten]

10% of the male pie chart was devoted to things other than looks and sluttiness. That's where your funny, fuzzy feelings are accounted for...

[Agathon]

I used to use the "Kadoonk" method. A time honoured and successful method for those who can't stand long courtships.

What you do is wait for an appropriate time and attempt to kiss her (the "kadoonk"). Don't fart around, just plant one on her. Before doing this form a hunch as to whether she's actually interested in you - there is no way of telling for sure but just go with your gut feeling.

Two things can happen now.

(1) A really great snog.

(2) Some form of rejection.

If (2) and she asks you why you did that, just say, "I wanted to see what you would do." and leave it at that.

I'm married to a woman I used this method on, so it does work.

Some other advice: if you are only 14 don't go overboard on the physical stuff. It tends to scare women more than guys at this age (well it doesn't scare guys at all, but there you go).

And you better tell us how you get on.

[Bereta_Eder]

Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
10% of the male pie chart was devoted to things other than looks and sluttiness. That's where your funny, fuzzy feelings are accounted for...

And that's wrong. The fuzzy feelings are one of the catalysts, the unstable, unforseable parameters that renders the whole system useless and wrong.

Why do you think hot babes are hanging out with short bald penyless **** ugly face men sometimes?

Just for his inner virtues? (read d!ck?)

No because they connect. Because he is offering her something she needs and didn't find anywhere else. (on a higher than physical level).

and vice versa

[Agathon]

Not just looks Paiktis - many ugly non rich blokes have nice girlfriends/wives - it's force of personality.

[Bereta_Eder]

That's what I'm saying Agathon. Force of personality or that undefinable (and thus unmeasurable and non fitting in any system) something that make them connect and be together.

[Drake Tungsten]

I think you need to read it more closely, paiktis. The "intangibles" are mentioned in both the male and female pie charts.