The Conquest Thread

[Mercator]

Pooh!?! ... I think you may have been fooled by the treacherous Kaladans! The gifts should beariving right about now.
I sent some of our finest bred Mongolian horses, silk gowns, miniature jade figurines, bronze statues, intricate tapestries depicting ancient Mongolian domestic and battle scenes, a royal traditional Mongolian felt tent. And most importantly (for the furthering of our humble culture), a freshly prepared Mongolian meal for the entire court, combined with lavish amounts of airag, our local drink.

[Mercator]

frankychan, I think I can speak for the entire alliance of the Pact of Pacts (including the Eastern European Empire, Greater Finland, Greater Mongolia and Devilmunchkin's paradise) that we would be most glad to accept you among us.
And as far as I'm concerned, you can have New Caledonia as well as Tasmania (and even all of Australia, if Morb's not looking ). I would be glad to arrange for any military assistance you might need.

[devilmunchkin]

franky: hon..i'm everyone's friends. my islands are set up with one purpose:
to be the one place on earth where everyone can vacation and get along. It's like a buddhist heaven

[Frankychan]

Message from Mercator has been received.

Ha ha ha!!! Comrade Mercator greetings! I am aware of a World vs. Finnish plan and wish for the Soviet Alliance to stay out of these affairs. Therefore, all Soviet Alliance members will remain neutral to both sides! But I will pledge my military support to your country since you have granted neutrality in our expansionist affairs!
---
Comrade Devilmunchkin-

It is sad that you do not wish to align yourself with the PRNZ. We have plans to move into Dr. Stilby's New Caledonia, Tazmania, and parts of Morb-controlled Australia. Soviet New Zealand forces hope that you will not become involved in our affairs.
---
***The People's Voice of New Zealand***

FRONT HEADLINE- PRNZ forces are giving Dr. Stilby-aligned New Caledonia one days notice that they will annex this new land due to reported repeated violations of PRNZ territory. Chairman Frank has said to the people:

"Comrades! For too long the forces of Dr. Stilby's New Caledonia have ignored our sovereign territories. For too long have I ignored the people's push for action. I can no longer ignore the cries of my people! Therefore, I am giving Dr. Stilby's New Caledonia fair notice that within one day I will invade his nearest territory! If he does not reply, I will annex this land and incorporate it into the Soviet Socialist Republic of New Zealand!"

Massive troop buildup has commenced and our Soviet forces are awaiting Chairman Frank's command.

[Frankychan]

-BREAKING NEWS-

PRNZ troops have invaded Tasmania in a blitzkreig attack!!! Tasmanian government officials are calling it a travesty but it seems that New Zealand forces are in strict control of Tasmania.

Chairman Frank has called this invasion "A glorious day for the people!" and is declaring Tasmania a territory of the PRNZ!

[History Guy]

King Vlad History Guy watches military parade of troops bound for China when a midget runs up to him crying, "Master, Master, I have a message..."

"Ok, Yeah, what is it?" responds the Eastern European King, stroking his long, pitchfork beard, and thinking to himself 'If I paid a stork to continue stroking my beard, would it no longer be 'stroking' but storking?'

"Here ya go!"

"Here's a sausage, keep the change."
---

The Response:

Chairman, my Commie comrade:

I'd be delighted to wind up sending you arms for your margaritas...but how's about joining up with us in THE PACT OF ALL PACTS?! Do you feel nuisanced by Tazmanians? Do dolphins give you a scare? The remedy--THE PACT OF ALL PACTS! Yes, folks, and if you join now you each get a hot water bottle with the compliments of King Vlad History Guy. So, how's it sound, my Commie chum? Ready to win, or would you like to sign up with the evil, demented losing side? Think it over!

Signed,
Horrifically yours,
King Vlad History Guy

[Az]

*BREAKING NEWS*

The Southern Federation has apparently made a successful moon landing. The ships were carrying colonists , security personnel , and some sort of classified material. Sources within the Southern Government which asked not to be mentioned by name , claim it to be a multi megaton multiple-time "laser". The same sources claim that this weapon has infact nothing to do with the ongoing war against terror , and it's main purpetrator , Greater Finland , but a serves a greater purpose , that will surely benefit all mankind ,even the Evil Finlandians, and all of their lackeys.

In other news, Lima pact forces have officially landed in Dr. Stiby's islands in the carrebean. Analists expect that chain of islands to be of immence strategic significance, and don't rule out the construction of a space port, to replace the finely equipped , but ill-located , Gagarin Interstellar Port.

[ranskaldan]

MAP UPDATED

devilmunchkin: I've tentatively named your nation "Paradise Isles", since that's exactly what it is... do you want me to keep it or do you want to change it? (I just find a country called "devilmunchkin" somewhat unsettling. )
oh yeah, about the map, maybe i can email it to you...?

mercator: errrrr...... your territories will be more than half of that of Greater Finland if you gobble up all of Russia. I've only given you Central Asia so that you can sort out the ownership of Russia with kassiopeia.

okay, and the news of course:

In a totally unexpected move, Kaladar troops crossed the Caucasus and blitzkrieged into Southern Russia, making straight for Helsinki. Apparently, as Mongol hordes beat down onto Korea and Kamchatka, Lima Pact commanders have retreated most of the defenders back to ports in South China to cut down losses. Now these newly-saved troops are striking into the heart of Greater Finland, with vengeance in their minds.

In other news, the New Canadian Space Agency have landed and colonized the Jovian Moon of Callisto.

------

* THE LIMA PACT
Dalgetti - The Southern Federation.
.Dom Pedro II - Province of Brazil & Mars
Ranskaldan/KrazyHorse - New Canada & Káladar Confederation
Boris Godunov - Empire of Godunova
.Hobbes - Province of Zululand
Lightening - Duchy of Straylight

* THE HONOLULU PACT
Richelieu - The North Pacific & Central America
Drake Tungsten - The South Pacific

* "THE PACT OF ALL PACTS"
Kassiopeia - Greater Finland, & The Province of Kassland
.Mercator - Province of Greater Mongolia
.Zevico - Province of Uzbekistan & Turkmenistan
.Ade - Province of Adenia
.Aaglo/Kassiopeia - Province of Aagloland
History Guy - Empire of Eastern Europe

Orange - Former Mozambique (conquered by Godunova)

LaRusso - Former Colony of Serbia (conquered by Southern Federation)

Eli - Greater Israel & the Province of Eliland

Guymener - EcoRepublic of Alaska
***mutual protection pact with Godunovan Empire.

Devilmunchkin - Paradise Isles
***"coconut" pact with Greater Finland.

frankychan - People's Republic of New Zealand
***Honolulu Pact membership pending
***Pact of All Pact membership pending
(note: these two pacts are enemies.)

Rand Al'Tor - former Roman Empire (hurriedly partitioned between Eastern Europe & Kaladar)

Dr. Stiby - Senegal; Gambia; Djibouti

Morb - Australia minus Tasmania

Captain Antilles - "Lew" Zealand (overthrown)

Arrian - Britain & Ireland

Blisterz - Newfoundland

Sirotnikov - Palestine Liberation Organisation

Osweld - Savannahland

Adalbertus/Ecthelion - former Greater Germany (overrun by Eastern Europe)

Chowlett - Ceylon

Slowwhand - Jamaica

unclaimed regimes - United States of "America"

[Ari Rahikkala]

The dolphins check the thread, then notice that their leader has an essay about personality defects to write and decide not to get too involved tonight...

[History Guy]

NEWS FLASH!

Pygmy mercenaries working for the Empire of Eastern Europe raid a Kaladarian supply port off Helsinki, kidnapping seventy-four soldiers, two old women, and a poodle. Nine men are said to have been killed in the fighting due to the unexpected explosion of a beached whale that had been fed dynamite by the Europeans. Inside the whale's stomach was a giant squid, and inside the squid's stomach was a minor dolphin official with a note pinned to it's coat reading: "The Eastern Europeans had absolutely nothing to do with this! Nope! Sure didn't!"

In other news, an Eastern European/Finnish colony pod landed on Mars, set up a couple of hab domes, and made themselves a colony...and a planet buster plant...

[Frankychan]

Chairman Frank thinks:

"Hmmm, this is a very delicate position I am in...do I wait for acceptance into the Honolulu Pact, or join the Pact of All Pacts?"
---
Message to Vlad History Guy of the E.E.E.

Greetings! Due to the nature of my surroundings, I must decline your offer of joining the "Pact of All Pacts", I am surrounded by nations that are not friendly to "Pact of All Pact" members. I will sign a non-aggression treaty with the E.E.E. and continue shipments of margarita's and pina colada's to your nation provided you continue shipping me arms and munitions.
I plan on moving into Morb-controlled Australia soon.

Maybe my new Soviet Republic will one day border your lands, perhaps?

Chairman Frank
---

***IN OTHER NEWS***

With the threat of PRNZ invasion, Dr. Stiby's control of New Caledonia has been overthrown and has been incorporated into the People's Republic of New Zealand! Chairman Frank had this to say:

"This should let the other nations of the world know that the PRNZ is a force to be reckoned with! The people of New Caledonia will no longer suffer under the evil capitalistic rule of the demented Dr. Stiby! Praise the People's Revolution!"

-------THIS JUST IN!!!--------

PRNZ forces have invaded the United States of "America"! The inhabitants there (a few penguins with machine guns) were no match for the superior might of our Soviet forces! The addition to the United States will make further help PRNZ forces in their attempts to make the "Perfect" margarita!

[ranskaldan]

Aw.... don't invade the USA. I like seeing the words "United States of America" down there.

[Frankychan]

Ok, Then the USA next to my territory will be annexed to the PRNZ.

Is that aiight?

[ranskaldan]

Sure.
Just don't take the whole thing.
I'd hate to see it go... it's like this decoration on the side that cheers us all up.

[Az]

ranskaldan , I think we should sign a new pact , that will widen the commitments , and integration of our two countries, in both on-world , and off world exploration, including the full unification of our space programs, That will be known as the the Phobos Pact.

also, in your map , you haven't recognized my northen pacific possessions.

Pygmy mercenaries working for the Empire of Eastern Europe raid a Kaladarian supply port off Helsinki, kidnapping seventy-four soldiers, two old women, and a poodle. Nine men are said to have been killed in the fighting due to the unexpected explosion of a beached whale that had been fed dynamite by the Europeans. Inside the whale's stomach was a giant squid, and inside the squid's stomach was a minor dolphin official with a note pinned to it's coat reading: "The Eastern Europeans had absolutely nothing to do with this! Nope! Sure didn't!"

In other news, an Eastern European/Finnish colony pod landed on Mars, set up a couple of hab domes, and made themselves a colony...and a planet buster plant...

Vlad, no nukes.

Responding to the barbaric attack by the EEE , David Dalgetti , The President of the Southern Federation, has decided to order Dom Pedro the 2nd, governor of Mars , to launch a motorized assault on the fledgling colony of the murderous EEE on Mars. The attack was said to be under the cover of the Martian night . This furthermore raises the suspicions that some people have had for quite a time that the Southern Federation has learned how to harness Fusion Power.


*THIS JUST IN!*

A huge asteroid is making it's way towards earth. The Southern Federation's Astronomical Service has just issued a a code Red warning , and has warned it's and its allies' earth population to stay at their homes.

Panic is spreading around the globe , with a state of emergency declared around all major cities.

The Southern Federation's officials remain suprizingly calm , despite the grave danger to all civilization . Some cynics have already said that this is due to the fact that chances are that the Asteroid will hit GF territory, but most analists remain confused an bedazzled.