how many is too many

[Ben Kenobi]

Yours on the other hand, is aspirational.

Thanks for the compliment, but I think that if we were to switch places you would think differently.

My methods involve manipulation and taking advantage (aka flirting),

Heck, my ex used to accuse me of being manipulative.

[Whaleboy]

Heck, my ex used to accuse me of being manipulative.

But I am though and its not good. I'll get inside her head and take advantage of that.

[chequita guevara]

If she's doin' it with someone besides you at that moment, that's too many.

[Whaleboy]

che: You sure? I wouldn't mind at all if she was with another girl, though I would have a problem if she was in love with her as well as, or instead of me. I'd have probably more of a problem if she was with another guy as well, but I know thats just a combination of male power complex and penis envy so rationally it shouldn't bother me, it would but I would suppress that.

[debeest]

Boann, you sound just about like me. Age 48. 11. Cheated a little, but that was long ago before I really understood how destructive it could be.

[Whaleboy]

You're 11?

[boann]

im thinking debeest ment they have been with 11 people

[Verres]

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi


Is it the commitment? I would find the physical intimacy far more daunting than the emotional intimacy, of a relationship. Actually, I find the emotional intimacy rather delightful.

Perhaps, yes. exposing yourself to someone emotionally is far more dangerous than physically, as you are opening yourself up to a greater degree of hurt. the emotional intimacy is great, sure, but it also frightening that someone could know you that well and therefore have such power over you if and when the relationship ends.

Commitment and emotional intimacy also require a great deal of maturity and respect (both for yourself and the other person...where as sex is usually just a physical activity to satisfy your libido.

[Zero]

Originally posted by Whaleboy


Let's do a little calculation on that one. Let's assume two per day. With a sex life from puberty to menopause, which we can estimate at 35 years. Thats 12784 days give or take (leap year considerations), so 25568 men. That's two per day. 8 per day, every day will give you 100'000 so its clearly physically possible, but I do rather doubt it. Once every three hours for 35 years .

Think of the sponsorship!!!

Once every three hours? You can squeeze in a few within those intervals if theyre a minute man.... What about orgies?

[Verres]

With a sex life from puberty to menopause, which we can estimate at 35 years.

You really think women stop having sex when they reach the menopause???

Once every three hours for 35 years .

Sounds good to me

[Zero]

anyways about original q: Im pretty lenient on the issue. I made some stupid decisions, I doubt im the only person that did that. I just dont want burning penis and other diseases...

For some reason I think I expect to marry a virgin, but I probably wouldnt care at all about what the status of my future wife's sex life was before we wed.

[Ben Kenobi]

as you are opening yourself up to a greater degree of hurt. the emotional intimacy is great, sure, but it also frightening that someone could know you that well and therefore have such power over you if and when the relationship ends.

Yeah, it's not fun if you break up with someone you know so well. I guess my approach has always been that it would be worse to lose the sensitivity to such things, than the comfort derived from putting up walls. Of course this approach makes me very vunerable at times.

[Verres]

Very true. Vulnerability is the one thing i fear in the wacky world of relationships. And being female, its more expected if me than it would be of the bloke; in most circumstances. However, I am not one to conform to stereotypes!

It'd be very nice to be able to be completely open and honest with someone, but leaving yourself open to so much emotional hurt and perhaps destroying any chance of future hapinness is too high a price.

[Ben Kenobi]

to so much emotional hurt and perhaps destroying any chance of future hapinness.

It'd be very nice to be able to be completely open and honest with someone,

Well, you never really know until you give it a chance, eh?

[boann]

your wrong verres...not being judgemental or mean to you... just saying from my experiences.
sharing that sort of intimacy is ...well i can't even think of words to describe it...
yes ive had pain... lots of it... ive been in the pit of blackness with it... but i would not trade that pain if i had to give up the closeness and tenderness of the love i had to equal that pain.
its the ying and yang of life...
to know you have to open yourself up for it.
otherwise you will never know what im talking about.
and id be sad for you not to feel it at least once.