how many is too many

[Dry]

Originally posted by boann
....just to give you a female perspective.

Thanks alot for that.

[MikeH]

Well... I've never shagged a virgin but I wouldn't really mind if she was.

[East Street Trader]

It is my feeling that someone who reached their death bed with no sexual experience at all would feel that they had missed out on an important thing. And, of course, that would also mean no kids. Which might well be a big regret. And almost certainly no long lasting marriage-type relationship. Which no one imagines to be other than a mixed blessing but which I should think most would at least feel it was a pity not to have tried.

I doubt anyone would regret having missed out on numerous sexual conquests.

There is a terrific excitement in courtship. Someone like self biased pretty obviously likes that more than what can come afterwards. But it is just not a really big thing. Compared to relationships and paternity and so on, anyway.

Sex can actually be a burden. I had a (stunning) girl friend once who just plumb wore me out. And in a marriage libidos are not always in total synchronisation.

[boann]

"Sex can actually be a burden. I had a (stunning) girl friend once who just plumb wore me out. And in a marriage libidos are not always in total synchronisation."

such a burden some would call a blessing ..............
just teasing you a bit old friend

[debeest]

Personally, if I ask the question, I want the truth. Shouldn't ask in the first place if you don't want to know. And if the truth is a problem in the relationship, then the relationship really has a problem to deal with, rather than ignore.

Supposedly, women who have done it with 50 or more partners are in the "3% club." Surprising number of my friends in that club, though only one of them with me. The past doesn't worry me much, as long as the present and future look good.

[Starchild]

I've personally never understood the "cult of the virgin" thing. I've never attached a great significance on whether a partner was or wasn't a virgin. I actually lean to prefering them not to be virgins since at least that way, they know a few tricks of the trade. Virginal sex is all fumbly and painful.

[Ben Kenobi]

I believe the bidding for Rosie is over 13,000 pounds. Good luck.

Why would I want a lesbian?

boann:

Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

[SpencerH]

Originally posted by Drogue

Well, that's flawed too. If a 86 year old had 140, I would think that a lot (2 per year, minus 16 years of childhood) whereas if a 25 year old had 18, I would think that as more reasonable. It is a better method, but not perfect, IMHO. But then I really couldn't care less. It's sex, it's fun, why should people deny themselves it for how they will be seen? I'd admire someones honesty and integrity if they had slept with many people, that they don't see a reason to needlessly curtail their pleasure.

Obviously that may change to people who've had unwanted children. Having pleasure is one thing, being irresponsible with regards to protection is another.

If you're eighty years old and still having 2 different sex partners every year - goodonya mate!

The point is (as others have said) that there has to be some inclusion of time in the formula. If one has been sexually active for 1 year and had 20 partners it's too many. Why? Because it implys shallow encounters rather than relationships. Aside from the disease risks, there's nothing 'wrong' with that IMO, but it may indicate a personality that isnt ready to form a long term relationship - hence someone to avoid if you are.

[Verres]

Originally posted by SpencerH
Shouldnt the question be phrased as how many different sex partners per year (on average) is too many?

answer: more than 2

Thats insane. I would write more, but im still in shock.

[boann]

it is interesting how our opinions are so varied.

and that over 70% of you would not consider me
a bad girl...

[Verres]

True. I would say your honest account sounds about right, boann...but there is no way i would consider an average of more than 2 sexual partners a year to be excessive. I agree with Drogue that, pregnancy and disease aside, there are no probelms with the number of people someone has been with - i would be more intimidated if they had had several serious relationships than just a lot of casual sex, as somehow it would seem more to live up to.

[boann]

Originally posted by Verres
True. I would say your honest account sounds about right, boann...but there is no way i would consider an average of more than 2 sexual partners a year to be excessive. I agree with Drogue that, pregnancy and disease aside, there are no probelms with the number of people someone has been with - i would be more intimidated if they had had several serious relationships than just a lot of casual sex, as somehow it would seem more to live up to.

well i don't know how old you are... you might be young or old....but serious relationships change a persons charactor..you learn a lot about life and people and feelings. sexual relationships on the other hand only teach you about sex...
i would think someone who has experienced more love to be a better person for it.
and a person whos had a lot of sex...with a lot of different people to be a sexual addict who might need some therapy and has intimacy issues

[Verres]

oh well, never mind

[Whaleboy]

Originally posted by Verres
well...not necessarily...the 70 year old may not have been with anyone since they were 16

*Adds to list of reasons why I hope I die before I get old...*

As a rule, I don't really care but generally the more she's had the better she'll be (grossly overgeneralised : ). Verres and Drogue are familiar with some of my mishaps on both ends of that particular spectrum .

[boann]

Originally posted by Verres
oh well, never mind